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Can BAD People Be Good leaders?

When Tom was fired from his CEO position there were lots of heads shaking side to side wondering what happened. Tom was a charismatic kind of guy who was always telling funny jokes and encouraging everyone to do the best they could do. He was both cheerleader and coach. So what happened? Let’s face it. Business can be brutal at the top rungs. The rules of the jungle often apply and if it is eat or be eaten…well the answer is obvious. While Tom was seen as a ‘good guy’ by most of the world, in the inner sanctum of senior leadership he was known to bully, intimidate and often twist the truth. He wanted success and his non-verbal mantra was ‘success at any cost.’ How did it happen? Tom started to meet with a few shady characters who saw his yearning for power and prestige and just like the charlatans from days of yore, who told that egotistical emperor that they would design a cape so beautiful only the pure of heart could see it, these folks sold Tom a bill of goods about products that were destined to fall apart too soon. The fall from grace. Tom would not listen. He made bad decisions and while the company was making money faster than anyone ever dreamed, the cribs for small children, poorly designed to save money, were causing tragedies to occur. You have to go upriver far enough to see where problems begin. Tom’s bloated pride and disdain for others who did not agree finally brought him down and cost the company a bundle. Too much ego...
Prioritize!

Prioritize!

When your technical skills are great and you really care about your constituents you should be getting lots of kudos for your work. Right? Well…not so fast. Number one is, you MUST prioritize your RELATIONSHIPS. So often people skills are what creates a limiting career path. Now, what exactly do I mean? I mean YOUR personality may be the limiting factor. Here is an example: Jim, the head of client services in a large company was in charge of buying and placing new furniture for the open space casual meeting area. There was a team meeting and the team decided what they wanted. Hear me…the TEAM DECIDED. They even picked the fabric colors and decided how to have the furniture lend in a soothing way with the colors of the walls. All well and good. Almost! Then Jim, who took being the head of client services to heart, spent time rethinking the plan. He called the team together with his new ideas. They voted and still wanted what they had picked. After all, this was a TEAM DECISION. New furniture was delivered and placed in the open space, for, oh about a month. Jim hated the way it looked. He called some maintenance men to change this furniture with some that was in a long forgotten work room. How did his team handle this? Was there a conflict resolution meeting? Did Jim lose his job? Was there a battle of the decorating mavens? None of the above. Jim became the butt of many jokes, some funny, some vicious, some clever. Was that the end of it? Not quite. When...
What To Do When You’ve Said Too Much

What To Do When You’ve Said Too Much

Dear Dr. Sylvia, I read your post yesterday in Examiner.com about anger and by the time I was finished I was sad and depressed. You see, I have come to realize I have a problem with saying way more than is necessary when I get upset. At work they even sent me to an anger management class after I slammed my computer shut and stormed out saying I would probably never come back. EXCEPT I am a highly paid VP and I am super good at my job as a market analyst and I love my job. I even love the company I work for. Funny that I don’t show anger at home, only at work. What is that about? I almost ruined my career and in the process almost ruined some deep and important friendships at work. I am usually a mild tempered really good guy. Any suggestions on how to get the ‘egg off my face’ and how to clean up the mess I left behind? Signed, Keeping Quiet ________________ Dear Quiet, If anger repair could be measured in terms of fixing houses someone could make a fortune. It is amazing what many of us do when we are angry. We blow up, we expand the argument, we gossip, we judge, blame and attack (what I have named JUBLA). Anger decisions mostly backfire. And then we must live with the regret and as you say with sadness and depression. Sadly, many of the wounds we inflict when we are angry are not readily healed. Some of us blame ourselves, mostly we blame others because it is so much...