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True Leaders Know How to Deal with the Office  Jerk

True Leaders Know How to Deal with the Office Jerk

How many times have we been on our way to work dreading that we might bump into the office jerk? You know, that one person that makes you cringe every time you have to walk by their cubicle or office, knowing if they spot you they’re going to invade your space or act offensively. We’ve all had to deal with that person! This type of personality is in every office across the world. Every office has one. Sometimes they get under our skin so bad that we let stress and our emotions get the best of us. Until now….. Download How Leaders Defuse that Toxic Jerk at...

Finding the Truth: My Boss is NOT My Father

Yesterday we left Jon ready to talk with his boss about the pressure to be “the best.” Growing up in a family where the pressure started when he was still in diapers to be the first one potty trained and first to score a goal on a kids’ soccer team and first with everything you could imagine, was way too much pressure. He ran to drugs as a way out. Didn’t fill the empty hole where he was always seeking approval. Now a grown-up in a high level marketing company his boss was doing “the best” thing his dad used to do. Setting up a lunch meeting with his boss, that Jon and I discussed in a coaching session, was filled with angst and concern. Could Jon really talk to his boss? He had never been able to talk with his father. Why should this be different? Maybe a different job in a less pressured place would be the answer. However, Jon was willing to take the plunge and before leaving this lucrative job he would have the meeting. In ‘Don’t Bring It to Work’ there are lots of practical tips on what to say. You can practice before the real meeting. Here is what Jon learned when the conversation was finished. His boss is NOT his father. Yes, there are similarities and so what. It takes true grit to face a high powered individual and say, “This is not working for me and I would like to find a way that will work for both of us.” Listen, we do take all the behaviors and patterns we learned...

YIKES, Work is REALLY like My Family!

Jon told me the following story. He grew up in a fast paced family with a father who was a mover and shaker in the community. Jon was the only son in the middle between two sisters. His father started to mold him (Jon) in his image from the time he was potty trained. In fact, his father would proudly say that his son was the youngest in the entire neighborhood to be out of diapers by the time he was 11 months old. His mother was as much a leader in the town as dad was. They were rarely home in the evenings because of so many meetings and parties to attend. Jon was shaking hands with his parents’ friends and looking them straight in the eyes at the age of three. The name of the family game was not only achievement. It was to be the best. The best at everything was exhausting and by the time Jon was a teen he made his way out of the ‘best’ to the drug scene. It was, he told me, his way of escaping. After rehab and finally finishing college ten years later, Jon moved into his career in marketing. And in one of our business coaching sessions he said “Oh my God, history is repeating itself!” His boss was a high achiever and set almost impossible standards for his staff. He keep saying they needed to be the best in the industry. The words “the best” would go deep into Jon’s psyche and the physical reaction was to begin to dream about running back to the drug scene...

Leadership Development: Inner Critics and Outer Critics

There are some amazing quotes from GUTSY and Powerful women leaders that really make us think. Here is one from Arianna Huffington, President and Editor-in-chief of the Huffington Post. “We may not be able to tune our inner critics out entirely, but we don’t have to let them run the show.” Here is the BIG question. Were inner critics always once outer critics? Where do these inner critics come from anyway? In “Don’t Bring It to Work” you can learn to pinpoint those outer critics that then became the inner voices that now stay in your head saying stuff like “I KNEW you would never be able to do it.” How do we banish these voices once and for all? Arianna Huffington is exactly right. We don’t have to let them run the show. Think of it this way. Who is it at work who makes you hold back, too meek to speak? Who is it you can see yourself wanting to give a quick kick to the groin? (Come on we all have these thoughts from time to time.) Okay, go somewhere quiet. Now, pick a person and pick a situation. Now take a minute, two at the most and play the scene in your head where you say everything to this person you wish you could say if it was safe enough to really tell the truth. You may have to go back and re-do this scene several times. How will you know you have tamed the inner critic? There is an intelligence of the gut we need to become more familiar with. There is that place somewhere near your navel that...

Extraordinary Bosses as Explorers

“What if” is a great way to find the newest and best way to sell a product. “What if” is how the best and the brightest get things done in a unique way. Are you an explorer? Are you willing to stand at the edge of the cliff and find a way to get across that has never been done before? An extraordinary boss will be part of the first team to work on something new. They do not retreat to the safety of the office and say “tell me when you have it handled.” Often explorers were scared as little kids and would run and hide under the covers when the first sound of thunder streamed through the air. They were in the shadow of the super achiever brother or sister and always felt less than. However, once they reach adult status they take all that fear and turn it into a massive amount of courage. Is the fear still there? Sure. However, the explorer has learned to harness the fear and take that first fierce leap into the unknown. If you were a “scardy cat” kid know that all you have to do is take the energy that was part of the fear and turn it inside...

The Extraordinary Humor or Extraordinary Bosses

You know what a “groaner” is? It is what you do when someone in a meeting tells a very bad joke at a very inappropriate moment. Everyone rolls their eyes and it takes time to get back to the issue at hand. Did you ever wonder why the “clown” did not read the group and keep his or her mouth shut? Why do they seem to act silly or stupid at just the moment when there may have been a great solution to a difficult problem? The clown was the one in the family who did jump in when stress was high to stop parents fighting or siblings ready to punch and jab or make someone who is sick in bed feel just that little bit better. However, at work…. Ah it takes an extraordinary boss to use humor in just the right amount at just the right time to help people take a deep breath and have a good laugh. Did you know that laughter is good for the immune system? Yup, it really does make us feel better. However, it is an art form that is really like being a great chef, not too much and not too little and just at the right time. Those who had the role of clown in the family really can turn their attention to how to use humor when stress hits the hot button. They do not have to be classic comedians, they do need to take their skill with jokes and learn the timing. They help us by laughing at themselves so we can laugh at ourselves and then get back to the work of the meeting with...