Are you worried that too many of your employees are people pleasers who do whatever you say and never speak up or challenge you?
When this happens, stagnation sets in and creativity is nowhere to be found.
Of course, you want your team to all row together and be collaborative. However, if you have a bunch of lemmings – those who blindly follow the crowd – even to catastrophe, as the myth of lemmings goes (they jump off cliffs, well, just because others do), you won’t be able to stay competitive in this fast- paced world.
Pleasers want to fit in and this desire leads them to become intensely self-conscious. One pleaser I know was so proud of a butterfly tattoo she put on her ankle to be “in” with her work team (they were butterfly tattoo addicted because of their logo). However, she said it was painful and would never do it again. That is, until the new trend came to put a different butterfly on the back of her neck.
Yes, she did.
Being “part of the crowd” and saying “yes” to just about everything is the people pleaser way.
Transforming this pattern is what the world needs now. Pleasers become truth tellers. They care about what other people think, yet not at the expense of their own integrity. Truth tellers talk in simple sentences, without lecturing or grandstanding. They don’t change their minds just to pacify someone, although they are willing to adjust their opinions when the facts warrant it.
Take a few minutes to watch this short video where I give tips that will help you quickly identify those people pleasers and help them make the shift.
Here is her speech, a model of truth-telling in its most elegant form.
We really need to band together to change what can be a bigger and more destructive epidemic than opioids.
As always, your comments and questions are welcome here!
Let me know if you agree with my take on why it’s so important to be a truth teller rather than a people pleaser.