Categories
Coaching Conflict Resolutions Leadership

Intuition, Science and Truth-Telling Form a Powerful Trio in the Workplace

This is about how to rid yourself of a toxic employee or boss.

Did you ever have an employee who scored high on those personality tests that determine if they would make a good fit for your organization?

How about sitting in an interview and ‘just knowing’ this is the absolutely, positively, right person for the job?

Or, you are being interviewed and enthralled by the possibility of working for this most amazing boss.

And then something happens…

There is a disconnect between what looked good on paper (and even in your heart and mind) and what is really happening day-to-day.

“What the heck happened?” you ask yourself.

Categories
Change Coaching Growth

Remembering Memorial Day

It doesn’t seem to stop.  I’m writing this after watching a video of young people at a concert in Manchester, England, run for their lives after a bomb explosion stopped the music.

I’m writing this after hearing the pain of a dad whose handsome son was knifed to death while waiting with friends near a bus stop on the University of Maryland campus.  This was just days before his graduation from Bowie State University.

Then there is Danny, a coaching client, who told me he is still angry…no, furious, thinking about his brother, Neil, who was a victim of a stray bullet in the dusk of an evening not even a year ago.

And the eighteen-year-old girl at Times Square, whose last memory was most likely of a car careening onto the sidewalk and snuffing out her life.

This is a long list that seems to never end.

Categories
Coaching Conflict Resolutions Growth Patterns

The Power of Shifting (Make Sure You Hear That Word Clearly)

 

Funny story: I was working on getting my negative thinking under control and asked someone to help me.  You see, it’s hard to do anything totally alone and I know the power of relationships can make a tremendous difference.

I found my power person to help and I found my power word.

I asked my dearest, best friend, who also happens to be my husband, to support me in this not-so-easy task of changing outdated behavior patterns.  I asked him to simply say my power word whenever he caught me reverting to the victim behavior, that I must say, I really can get into sometimes.

I asked Herb to use my power word to remind me to stop my blaming, judging or attacking another and find a more positive way to handle my upset.  I want to give up the “poor me” and “life’s not fair” attitude.

Now, I don’t go there often; however, I want to have this behind me totally.

I teach others to be better leaders and to stop whining and get going.  Yet, there are times when my old survival responses seem to take over and I sound lame and ineffective.

Herb and I made the agreement.  He would use my power word, and nothing more, when I would start up with a sob story.

So, one afternoon, someone who had promised to complete a project for me, called with tons of excuses.  It was going to set me back several weeks and that meant promises I made to others would get caught in the back water.

I was pissed.

Categories
Business and Life Patterns Coaching Leadership

Start Being Your Best at Work Today

Let Dr. Transformation Help You Be Your Best!

Dr. Sylvia Lafair, CEO of Creative Energy Options, aka “Dr. Transformation,” wants to help you be your best at work!

Dr. Lafair, along with CEOptions’ panel of Certified Pattern Breakthrough coaches and consultants, can help pinpoint exactly what behaviors are getting in your way and what you can do to help accelerate your success.

Listen to Dr. Lafair here as she speaks via podcast with Annie Jennings of EliteWire online magazine to get a glimpse into how you can get started.  Also, take advantage of Dr. Lafair’s special offer and start being your best at work TODAY!

Want more useful information about leadership? Get Dr. Lafair’s weekly newsletter!

Categories
Business and Life Patterns Coaching Leadership Patterns

Restless Patterns

By Frank Walsh | CEOptions Certified Pattern Breakthrough Coach

It’s not you, it’s me… Well it’s also you, but with some guidance I have seen how the patterns of my past influenced our relationship.

I started to feel it in my mid 40’s. Things were different. I had evolved, you had changed. You didn’t make me happy anymore and I started to hate you for it. Still, we had been through a lot, so I didn’t want to quit. I felt I could fix things. I believed you had so much to learn from me if you would just accept it.

By 50 it was all over except the tears. I only saw you as irrational, controlling and heartless. But I know you were just doing what comes naturally, and I was playing my roll of the Rebel. I couldn’t fix you, so I would watch you destroy yourself with smug satisfaction, except that it wasn’t satisfying, it was saddening.

Categories
Business Coaching Communication General Resolution Goals Leadership

Leadership Lessons: How Listening Changes Your Responses

Hearing and listening are related. Similar yet very different. We hear loud sounds, the wind, someone laughing or yelling. And then what? We just get on with our day.

Listening, ah, another story entirely.

Were you ever told to “listen up” when you were a kid? Did someone ever say “Hey, will you just shut up and listen?”

Big question: Were you ever taught to listen?

Categories
Business Change Coaching Communication Goals

The Colors of Gender Thanks to Modern Marketing and Ancient Ancestors

From the day you were born, even before conception, there are beliefs and stereotypes that are attached to gender.

Let’s consider the color continuum for gender. Pink is for girls and blue is for boys. Right? Where did this begin? Who decided which colors belong to which gender?

Here is a brief trip through history. In the 1800’s all babies, male and female, wore white “dresses” in infancy. Thus, babies were gender neutral. These sacks were easy for changing diapers and to bleach when they became dirty.

Then around the 1920’s Western parents began dressing the little ones in colors. Pink was associated with boys. Yes, you heard me, boys. Here is the rationale: red is a bold and brave color and too strong for children so, boys got the watered-down version…pink.

Blue, a more subdued color was for girls. And by the way, blue was associated with the Virgin Mary, thus a color of purity. Just saying!

Categories
Business Coaching Communication Leadership

Magic Moments Best When Unexpected

Got on the bus. Waited. Got on another bus. Waited even longer.

Had a bad feeling this paid in advance tour was going to disappoint.

And it did.

Almost.

Tours to that revered site in Rome, the Vatican are expensive and seemingly necessary. Otherwise the lines can be hours long.

The Vatican is a must see in Rome. Regardless of religious background or preference there is a majesty to being in the presence of some of the most amazing art and sculpture the world has to offer. And looking up at the Blessing Window where the Pope stands and then pivoting around to observe what it must be like to look out at huge numbers of appreciative and reverent individuals is a stunning moment.

However, that is not where the memorable magic happened for me.

Categories
Business Business and Life Patterns Coaching Conflict Resolutions Goals Growth

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

I hear this plaintive cry from executives and middle managers all the time. I hear it from superintendents to elementary school teachers for at least ten months out of the year.

Getting along is what we all want. Right? So, why does it seem almost impossible to get through even a few days without feeling that blood boiling moment of “Not THAT again!” or “Can’t they just zip it?”

I would like to boil this down to some basics for you to think about.

Relationships are hard work.

You can’t learn how to be your best you by reading something that gives you 5 quick tips for happiness.

It’s just not that simple.

Categories
Business Coaching General Resolution Growth Leadership

What Courage Looks Like

Twice a year we do a program for leaders and emerging leaders. It is a four session program spread over five months. Each time I include clips of leaders who have and continue to make a difference in our world.

There are a few staples, like Nelson Mandela and Abraham Lincoln.

We choose from a wide array of business leaders, media, the arts, and people who I call “Giraffes” (those willing to stick their necks out to make a positive difference).

Recently I was looking for those who exemplify vast courage to tackle unpopular issues and who are not willing to back down or be bought into silence.

If you have not seen or read Ibsen’s play, An Enemy of the People, it is worth the time to dig into this classic about speaking out when economic issues want us to stay in denial.

That brings us up to the present moment. Watching Dr. Bennett Omalu, played by Will Smith in the 2015 film, Concussion makes us realize that patterns of denial run deep and are sadly, as old as time.

Omalu, a forensic pathologist working in Pittsburgh brought CTE, a form of brain injury to the forefront. It appears to be rampant in the NFL and possibly starting when youngsters play high school and college football.