Are we on the cusp of new ways of relating to each other? If so, it’s going to take all of us, GUTSY women and BOLD men to continue to clear the path. The old way is about power, prestige and prominence. The new way? It’s still being designed.
The new and better way certainly includes cooperation, caring, and compassion.
My question is, “What else needs to be in the mix?”
Here are a few thoughts of mine. I’d love to hear what all of you, men and women, think the new paradigm of relationships should include.
For me, observing and understanding the invisible links from the long ago past to the present make the best starting point.
Why? So that we can learn which patterns of behavior were meant for survival and may have outlived their usefulness. First, we need to know, before we can make appropriate changes.
Let me explain: Has anybody been to Salem Massachusetts on Halloween? It’s a “madhouse” (pardon the pun) of psychics on every corner ready to do a reading. In fact, all year round in Salem there is great information to learn about the witch trials of 1692.
Women, bona fide healers, who worked with herbs and their own intuition, were considered, you guessed it, witches. Thus, women learned to “shut up,” to keep their knowledge undercover or suffer an ugly death.
No tiny baby girl was ever born who woke from a nap and said, “I can’t wait to grow up and be a pleaser and only say ‘yes’ to everyone.” This knack of being a pleaser, or a rescuer, or a victim came from some basic desire to survive.
Question: Could the subtle memories about ancestors who did not shut up and were burned at the stake make present day women wary? Hummmm, interesting thought.
Let’s take a moment and go back even further. A visit to Greek legends. If your name is Sandra or Cassandra, or even Sandy you may want to pay strict attention. And if your name is Apollo, you too should pay strict attention. Here’s a typical love story: The god Apollo fell in love with the princess Cassandra. He gave her a great gift, more than a gorgeous bracelet or trip to The Four Seasons; it was the gift of prophecy. So far, so good.
The story continues. Now, the good news is this gift was non-refundable. Yet, when Cassandra did not get all mushy about Apollo, he was a scorned lover and wanted revenge. Yup, happens all the time.
So, the only thing that mad as hell Apollo could do, what any self-respecting Greek god would do, was to put a curse on Cassandra; make it so no one would listen. Thus, when she warned that her beloved homeland, Troy would be destroyed, no one would believe her.
Ancient Greece, witch trials, women so often getting brushed aside when they see where things are heading. Maybe no more. Thank you #metoo.
Each of us has a story about a time we were told to ‘shut up’ and be a pleaser. Each of us also has a story about a time where it was important to take a risk and ‘speak up.’ And now is the time for stories about how each of us can ‘own up’ to our personal part in resisting necessary positive change.
Stay tuned. Next week I have a super good story about a woman executive at a great company who learned to move from pleaser to truth teller and what that as done to up her happiness quotient.
And, anyone who wants a beginning of year strategy session with one of our breakthrough coaches please let me know.