Summary: Coaching can be transformative. While some leaders find great success through coaching, others experience setbacks due to a lack of commitment, unclear goals, or ineffective coaching partnerships. Let’s explore why business professionals seek coaching and how it can lead to success – or failure.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I hired and then fired my executive coach.
In hindsight, I wonder if I gave it enough of a chance.
For example, I am used to being in charge and I think my coach has the same propensity.
I wanted a male coach to get a broader perspective from what I call “the other side of the aisle.”
Interestingly, when I looked at my calendar and saw it was time for my first coaching session with Tim, I felt my gut tighten.
It was, I think, a warning glimmer. My body was telling me, “Be cautious,”
Not sure what that meant. I was paying him and I had the hire/fire say, so why should I be cautious?
In any case, we ended up in a tug-of-war over the next few months, each seemingly pulling the rope to get the other to let go or fall.
It was the first time since childhood that I began to second-guess myself and feel like a failure.
I finally stopped the game. Yes, it felt like an ugly game.
I did not feel supported; I only felt I was in the wrong all the time.
We ended professionally, wishing each other well.
I am cautiously looking for a new executive coach.
I would love to hear your suggestions.
Signed,
Feeling Less-than
The right coach will cheerlead and challenge you; the wrong coach will make you feel weak and worthless.
Dear Feeling Less-than,
You are not alone. When coaching is successful there are glimmers of hope and restored feelings of “can do.”
When leadership coaching is mediocre, the feeling is that there is “something” wrong with you.
Not necessarily the case.
You may have simply picked a mediocre coach.
Let’s look at the basics for picking and sticking with a great coach.
Overcoming Blind Spots for Personal and Professional Growth
Why It Matters:
Blind spots are behaviors, habits, or attitudes that hinder professionals, often without their knowledge. Coaches serve as external mirrors, offering clarity by identifying these blind spots.
This reflection enables professionals to break long-standing patterns and make way for meaningful growth.
However, the best coaches are those who have done some deep dives into their own personal blind spots.
Your gut glimmer may have warned you that your coach still had some unfinished personal baggage to unpack.
Let me share a few stories, both successful and failure stories, so you can gather more information as you seek a new executive coach.
Blind spot success story
Consider Alex, a highly driven CEO who has been with his company for over 10 years. Although successful, Alex’s lack of self-awareness created distance between him and his team.
He was known to dismiss feedback quickly, leading to a culture where employees felt unheard and undervalued. When Alex started working with a coach, his coach helped him recognize this tendency and its impact on morale.
Over several months, Alex learned to listen actively, be more empathetic, and adjust his leadership style.
His coach shared how he also had to learn the importance of listening and not judging. This vulnerability coming from his coach made Alex feel like he was not the only one with empathy issues. It helped him stay open rather than defensive.
Soon, Alex’s team noticed the change, and not only did employee satisfaction improve, but his company also saw a 20% increase in productivity as team cohesion improved.
Blind spot Failure Story
On the other hand, Sarah, a rising executive in a tech startup, was advised to seek a coach due to her micromanaging tendencies.
However, despite her initial enthusiasm, Sarah was resistant to change. She felt her style was effective and often resisted her coach’s observations.
The coach was angry that Sarah would not “listen to her advice” and became vindictive. Sadly, this was a similar blind spot in the coach’s personality, and the two ended up as adversaries rather than advocates.
Sarah’s unwillingness to acknowledge her blind spots limited the effectiveness of her coaching sessions, and eventually, her team began to resent her oversight.
The coach still blames Sarah and has never looked at her own shortcomings.
In Sarah’s case, high turnover followed, leading to stagnation in her department’s progress. The coaching engagement ended without meaningful results, and Sarah’s career growth slowed.
Accountability will Drive Results
Why It Matters:
Accountability is crucial in achieving professional and personal goals. While many professionals set ambitious goals, they often struggle to maintain consistent progress.
A successful coach provides structured accountability, setting benchmarks, follow-ups, and encouragement to keep clients focused and productive.
Success Story about being accountable
Jake, a young entrepreneur, wanted to scale his e-commerce business but struggled with time management. He would start his day with big plans but often bogged down by minor tasks.
When he hired a coach, his approach to daily work changed dramatically. His coach helped him prioritize high-impact activities, set deadlines, and establish daily routines.
Each week, they reviewed his progress, celebrated wins, and identified areas for improvement. Over time, Jake’s revenue doubled as he focused on growth-driving tasks and delegated the rest.
Failure Story when NOT accountable
In contrast, Tom, a seasoned sales manager, sought a coach to improve his performance, but he repeatedly missed his deadlines.
Although his coach provided action steps and regular check-ins, Tom’s commitment waned.
He cited “busyness” as his main issue, but this became an excuse, and he was unable to prioritize his coaching goals.
Interestingly, the coach was often late for appointments or had to reschedule. He spent more time than necessary telling Tom how his busy schedule was .
With time, his coach could see Tom’s lack of engagement, and the partnership eventually ended.
It was an unhealthy alliance. Both blamed the other for the lack of success.
Tom’s performance remained stagnant, and his missed opportunity for growth became evident as his company overlooked him for a promotion due to his inconsistency.
Enhancing Leadership Skills Effectively
Why It Matters:
Leadership skills are crucial for guiding teams, fostering a positive work environment, and driving company vision.
Effective leadership isn’t always intuitive, and a coach can offer targeted exercises and insights to help leaders develop communication, conflict resolution, and decision-making skills that inspire and unite teams.
Success Story for enhancing leadership skills
Lily, the VP of a marketing firm, struggled with managing her team through a high-stress period as her company underwent a major rebranding effort.
Known for her sharp, strategic skills, Lily often overlooked her team’s emotional needs, leading to misunderstandings and stress. Through coaching, Lily learned the art of compassionate communication and active listening.
Her coach encouraged her to start weekly check-ins with her team to discuss their tasks and well-being.
The coach understood Lily’s dilemma. In her training as an executive coach, she also grappled with judging, blaming, and attacking others when life did not go her way. That is until her supervisor showed how destructive the finger-pointing was.
Lily had positive success with her coach’s help. The shift she was able to make, helped her team feel valued and motivated, resulting in a successful rebranding and increased team cohesion.
Failure Story for ignoring leadership skill requirements
Conversely, Rick, a CFO at a midsize company, sought coaching to improve his team’s morale. Although he was receptive to his coach’s suggestions initially, he found it difficult to apply the recommended techniques, feeling they were “too soft” for his direct leadership style.
The coach did not advocate for “tough love” and, thus, did not deviate from his kind and encouraging approach. This never worked with Rick, who needed a more direct, challenging method.
Over time, Rick’s reluctance to adapt undermined the coaching process. Neither he nor the coach was able to change their perspectives.
Therefore, Rick continued with his usual transactional approach to team management.
Rick’s failure to embrace coaching meant missing out on developing a more holistic leadership approach.
On the other hand, hand, the coach failed to “meet Rick where he was” and offer a more direct method of discussing difficult issues.
This resulted in disengagement and mistrust among Rick’s team, eventually leading to decreased performance.
Why Coaching Succeeds – or Fails
The success of coaching depends heavily on the commitment and mindset of the individual. Successful coaching requires:
- Open-mindedness and Willingness to Reflect: Leaders need to be receptive to honest feedback and ready to look in the mirror.
- Consistency and Accountability: Progress is achieved through persistent efforts and staying on course with commitments.
- Application of Learned Skills: Effective coaching is not theoretical; it demands action. Leaders who use what they learn see the biggest transformation.
In contrast, coaching fails when:
- Resistance to Change: When professionals believe they don’t need to change, coaching becomes a hollow exercise.
- Poor Communication with the Coach: Clear, transparent communication between the coach and client is vital for the partnership to thrive.
- Inconsistent Effort: Without regular practice and accountability, coaching insights fade, and desired outcomes are left unrealized.
In conclusion, coaching offers a powerful path to growth but only for those willing to put in the work. Success stories remind us that transformative change is possible, while examples of coaching that falls short serve as lessons in the importance of genuine engagement.
For business professionals ready to maximize their potential, coaching is a pathway to greater self-awareness, enhanced accountability, and refined leadership – if they’re truly committed to the journey.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. Take a few minutes to test your leadership skills. Then, call us for coaching to take you to the next level.
