An email I received recently got me to thinking, again, about change.
It’s truly all you have , any day, every day. And yet, it causes constant stress and anxiety. Here’s what was sent to me:
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I know some people call you Dr. Transformation which implies you are a master of letting change take you where you need to go. And that you teach the tricks of healthy change. I need some answers. I hope you have them.
I’m having a tough time with the whole issue of why change is can be so depressing. It was suggested I (like so many of my colleagues) take anti-anxiety meds. I don’t want to go that route.
Here’s my angst in a nutshell. My company was recently bought and my services in the marketing department will no longer be needed. I have a pretty good six month severance and a few months of transition before I will be out for good.
I’m angry and especially I am fearful.
What if I can’t land another job? I’ll just be sitting home tooling around on the computer and watching all the TED talks I’ve missed.
My wife is a great cheerleader and thinks my fears are unfounded. I’m good at what I do, so I’ve been told. And yet….. and yet…. I grew up in a family where work began in my teens and the message was “You’re not worth anything unless you’re working.”
Any suggestions?
Signed,
I Am What I Do
Dear What You Do,
You hit the first issue. In our culture we are judged and rated by our work ethic and experience. And then we don’t have time to answer the question “Who are you?” We just talk about what we do.
Take a deep breath please. You gave me a good idea of why you are so anxious. It’s what you were taught as a kid. Doing is what counts.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Working and producing and achieving brings out the creative aspects of who we are. However, when change comes jogging along in your life, it’s a golden opportunity to think about who you are.
Here’s a way to look at change that may be your doorway to transformation.
Transformation is merely change that sticks. Read over this and get back to me and let me know where you fit. Then we can do a deep dive into what you need for next steps.
Categories of Change
Cowards
(20%)
Avoid change
Rigid thinkers
Ignore advice
Disinterested in new learning
Walk away from the new
Blame others
Medicate anxiety
Deniers/Avoiders/Victims
Curious
(60%)
Need reasons for change
Flexible, need discussion
Listen before deciding
Want more facts
Need encouragement
Look for solutions, not blame
Look for best options
Procrastinators/Pleasers
Champions
(20%)
Always willing to change
Idea creators
Advice seekers
Self learners
Willing to jump and risk
Observe whole system
Self-medicate/meditate
Super achievers/ Rebels
I suggest all of you see where you fit. My upcoming webinar will consider what you need to do to be a highly effective change agent and not let change freeze new possibilities.
Best,
Sylvia
