Summary: It’s eye-opening to explore how unresolved family issues and patterns often resurface in professional settings. This affects relationships, productivity, and overall success. Here, you get ideas on how to handle your stress level better both at work and at home.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
My husband is a wonderful leader. He is the Senior VP that is always the one people rave about. His team loves him. And yet, when he talks about his boss, he turns bright red and gets so angry I am afraid for his health.
It seems like so much more than two people not liking each other. He and the President of the company are constant adversaries.
They are like oil and water, unable to mix together.
I keep offering him your book. Sadly, he is not a reader and has no time for a book, even on audible.
Can you give a brief outline so I can encourage him to look deeper at how that family issue shows up at work.
Signed,
Hopeful
Dear Hopeful,
Most business folks shrug when they hear that what we learned in our original organization, the family shows up at work.
It has been an uphill battle for this concept to gain attention.
I saw it early in my executive coaching career. In many instances even the best of employees would stay quiet rather than speak up. Once I put together the fear of angering a parent with the worry of upsetting the boss, it started to make sense.
Key concepts about family and work connections
- Family Patterns in the Workplace: In my book, I explain that many behaviors and conflicts seen in the workplace are extensions of family roles and dynamics. These patterns, such as being the peacemaker, the martyr, or the rebel, often go unrecognized but significantly influence professional interactions.
- The Fatal Flaw:: There is usually one pattern that I call “sticky.” It is the one that stands out as the one that triggers you the most. Here are some examples. Which one “has your name on it?” The pleaser. the avoider. the procrastinator, the drama king/queen, the martyr, the rebel, or the persecutor?
- Awareness and Identification: In all my writing I emphasize the importance of becoming aware of these patterns. I see it as the way OUT of old, ingrained behaviors. Then I provides tools and techniques for identifying one’s family roles and understanding how they translate into the workplace.
- Transformation and Change: I hope to help all in positions of power learn about “Pattern Aware Leadership.” Here individuals transform negative patterns into positive actions. This involves Observing the patterns, Understanding their origins, and consciously working to Transform them.
- Case Studies and Examples: There are real-life case studies and examples that illustrate how family dynamics manifest at work and how individuals have successfully transformed these patterns to improve their professional lives.
- Practical Exercises: In the book are practical exercises and self-assessment tools to help you apply the concepts to your own lives. These exercises are designed to foster self-awareness and facilitate the process of change.
Key takeaways for more effective work relationships
- Self-Awareness is Crucial: Understanding one’s own behavior patterns is the first step toward change.
- Family Influences are Pervasive: Many workplace behaviors can be traced back to family dynamics.
- Change is Possible: With awareness and effort, negative patterns can be transformed into positive behaviors that enhance professional success.
- Practical Tools are Essential: The book provides actionable tools and techniques to help readers implement changes in their professional and personal lives.
Overall, “Don’t Bring It to Work” offers valuable insights into the deep connections between personal history and professional behavior. Readers are provided with the knowledge and tools to break free from limiting patterns and achieve greater success in the workplace.
