Summary: Workplace dynamics can be challenging, especially when emotional triggers go unchecked. One of the most common—and often misunderstood—roles that surfaces under pressure is “The Clown.” This individual, while seeking to bring levity, often derails important conversations with ill-timed jokes that frustrate and disengage the team. Here we explore how “The Clown,” as discussed in Sylvia Lafair’s book Don’t Bring It To Work, can transform into a humorist who fosters connection rather than disruption.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
We have a man on our leadership team who is driving us bonkers.
He is such a fun person, we have often overlooked his absolutely awful jokes.
In fact, we have all laughed, often just to be courteous.
Indeed, he cannot be left out. He is the COO and his expertise is critical for our success.
As head of HR, I am the one to talk with him.
What suggestions do you have?
Signed,
Not Laughing
Dear Not Laughing,
I would bet your COO wore the crown as the Class Clown in school.
For example, I bet he got lots of applause when he made everyone laugh, except perhaps, his teacher.
Let’s look at this behavior pattern. It is often swept under the rug as merely an annoyance.
Who Is “The Clown” at work?
“The Clown” is a person who uses humor to deflect attention from serious issues. They often turn tense situations into opportunities for a joke, avoiding discomfort but at the expense of productivity.
Indeed, what might begin as a well-meaning attempt to ease tension can quickly morph into an unhelpful distraction that aggravates colleagues and derails progress.
Imagine a team discussing an important project deadline. The conversation is tense because there’s a lot at stake. Suddenly, “The Clown” drops in with a joke like:
“Well, if we don’t meet the deadline, at least we’ll have more time to practice our karaoke skills, right?”
After that, there is an awkward silence, eye rolls, and a few sighs of frustration.
Moreover, what could be a moment of addressing concerns ends up as an opportunity lost. Sadly, the conversation is abruptly shut down.
Emotional Triggers Behind “The Clown”
At the core, “The Clown” may be using humor to manage their own discomfort in stressful situations. Instead of addressing the issue head-on, they deflect with jokes as a defense mechanism.
These emotional triggers are often rooted in childhood experiences, where humor may have been used as a coping strategy to deflect conflict or criticism.
In my book, Don’t Bring It To Work, I explain that unresolved emotions from the past tend to show up in the workplace when we’re under pressure. For “The Clown,” these unresolved emotions manifest through humor that avoids the real issue, but this doesn’t solve the problem—it only magnifies it.
An example comes from the life story of actor Jim Carey. He is known for his body movements and flexible facial expressions. He became a variation of “The Clown” at a young age. He talks about his mother being ill most of his childhood. He would come home from school and find her lying on the couch. He wanted to see her laugh so he would make his faces waiting for her to smile. It was, as he said, his way of coping with the fear and stress he felt at home.
The Transformation: From Clown to Humorist
Often the core of adult behavior starts from a childhood trauma like Jim Carey’s.
Managing emotional triggers at work
While “The Clown” can frustrate colleagues, the ability to inject humor into stressful situations is not entirely negative. The key is learning when and how to use humor to relieve tension without undermining important discussions. This is where the transformation from “Clown” to “Humorist” can take place.
Here’s how the change the Clown to the Humorist
- Awareness of Emotional Triggers: The first step to transformation is awareness. “The Clown” needs to recognize when they are using humor as a deflection tactic. Understanding that their jokes are a reaction to personal discomfort can help them pause and assess whether humor is appropriate at that moment.
- Timing Is Everything: A well-placed joke can be a great icebreaker or stress reliever, but it requires emotional intelligence. The key difference between a Clown and a Humorist is knowing when the moment calls for humor and when it demands serious focus.
- Use Humor to Connect, Not Distract: A humorist uses jokes to build connections and foster rapport rather than divert attention from the task at hand. Instead of making a joke that shuts down a conversation, the Humorist might say something like: “I know this deadline feels like it’s chasing us, but let’s tackle it with the same determination we had when we beat that trivia game last week!” This type of humor is still lighthearted but acknowledges the seriousness of the situation while creating a sense of teamwork.
- Mindful Listening: One of the most powerful transformations occurs when “The Clown” learns to truly listen to their colleagues. When they start listening instead of looking for their next punchline, they demonstrate respect for the conversation and create space for everyone to be heard.
How a Relationship Coach Can Help
If you or someone on your team exhibits the Clown’s tendencies, it’s important to address the root cause of the behavior. The best way is to offer tailored coaching to help leaders and employees alike manage their emotional triggers and turn disruptive habits into positive, productive behaviors.
Based on the principles from Don’t Bring It To Work, our pattern breakthrough coaches help individuals to identify patterns from their past that surface in the workplace. We help them channel those behaviors in a way that enhances, rather than hinders, workplace dynamics.
The difference between The Clown and The Humorist is about the outcome.
The clown only wants to decrease the tension that leads to the jokes that are called “goners.”
The humorist used humor to help people see another route out of difficulties.
The best humorist I know is Mark Twain who prods us to say “I never thought of it like this before.”
Who are some humorists you can think of in present time who show how to use emotional intelligence in the workplace?
For me that would be Stephen Colbert and Graham Norton. Who would you add to this list?
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. Are you ready to help your team transition from disruptive behaviors to constructive actions? Contact Creative Energy Options Inc. today to learn more about how we can help transform emotional triggers into tools for growth and success.
In conclusion, by recognizing and addressing emotional triggers like “The Clown,” you can foster a more collaborative and productive workplace. Start the journey toward transformation with us!
