Summary: Every great achievement, breakthrough idea, and profound moment of success begins with a glimmer—a fleeting sense of possibility, a spark of intuition, or a flash of inspiration. These glimmers, often subtle and easily dismissed, are the seeds of greatness. Yet, the key to turning these sparks into lasting success lies not only in intellect alone. It’s the powerful connection between the head, heart, and gut.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I was taking a walk during lunch hour and got a hunch.
It was to call an old friend I had not thought about for many years.
The message in my mind was to call before the day was over.
Glimmers are often disregarded because they are not logical
As usual, I disregarded the sense of urgency and got busy with my work tasks.
That night, in a dream, my old friend showed up asking why I didn’t call.
My answer was my usual, “Too busy.”
In any case, a few days later, the same feeling of “Time to connect with him” showed up as I was making dinner.
Again, I didn’t do anything, I just kept stirring the soup.
Sadly, another old friend just called to tell me Don was in a terrible car accident. He said he going to visit Don in the hospital and requested I join him.
I did.
Gratefully, our colleague will recover. I am so glad my friend called to have me join him.
We are trained from a young age to only follow what we can see, hear or touch
I must admit, I never listen to these glimmers. I have always seen them as both insignificant and childish.
My question is, “Why are we so afraid, or at least unwilling, to listen to these internal nudgings?
Signed,
Curious
Glimmers connect with our inner and outer worlds
Dear Curious,
Decision-making is no longer a simple process of logic or data analysis. True leaders and innovators draw from a more bottomless well—combining the wisdom of their minds, their hearts’ passion, and their guts’ instinct.
Here, I want to explore the profound connection between these three centers of intelligence and how they work together to create lasting success in both personal and professional life.
The following is from my new, almost finished book, “From Glimmers to Greatness.”
It’s designed to help you understand and harness this inner triad to unlock your full potential.
By diving into how your head provides clarity, your heart fuels courage, and your gut guides instinct, you will learn how to approach challenges, make tough decisions, and confidently seize opportunities.
This is not just about achieving success; it’s about discovering a winning formula that connects the cognitive, emotional, and intuitive forces within you.
It’s about recognizing those early glimmers of possibility and having the tools to transform them into greatness.
Whether you’re leading a team, building a business, or seeking personal fulfillment, I want to guide you on how to win by aligning your head, heart, and gut.
Your journey from glimmers to greatness begins here.
Right now, I will start with why it is so hard to change old, ingrained patterns.
Why people don’t change: an in-depth exploration
Change is a constant theme in our lives. We encounter it in personal development books, motivational speeches, and self-help seminars.
We’re told that change is possible and that we can reinvent ourselves and transform our lives.
Yet, despite these promises, many people struggle to make lasting changes. Why is that? Why do people often find themselves reverting to old habits and behaviors?
Let’s delve into the complex reasons behind the assertion that people don’t change.
The psychology behind change
Habits are powerful forces that shape our daily lives.
According to Charles Duhigg, author of “The Power of Habit,” habits are formed through a three-step loop: cue, routine, and reward. This loop becomes ingrained in our brains, making it difficult to break.
Even when we consciously try to break habits, the underlying habit loop can pull us back into old patterns.
Understanding cognitive dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is a psychological phenomenon where individuals experience discomfort when their beliefs or behaviors are inconsistent.
People often justify their actions rather than change them to reduce this discomfort. For example, someone who smokes might downplay the health risks to avoid the dissonance between their behavior and the knowledge that smoking is harmful.
Ignoring glimmers is part of staying with learned behavioral consistency.
Biological Factors keep us from listening to inner glimmers
Our genetic makeup plays a significant role in shaping our personality traits and behaviors.
Research in behavioral genetics suggests that many aspects of our personality, such as temperament and emotional reactivity, are influenced by our genetic predisposition.
This genetic predisposition can make it challenging to change specific traits fundamentally.
Brain chemistry is key to why we do what we do
Neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin influence our mood, motivation, and behavior.
Imbalances in these chemicals can affect our ability to change. For example, low serotonin levels are linked to depression, which can make it difficult for someone to find the motivation to change.
Social and environmental influences demand we conform
Our social identity encompasses our groups and roles and can be a significant barrier to change.
Changing our behavior might mean losing our place within a social group or facing disapproval from those around us.
This fear of social repercussions can keep us stuck in old patterns.
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Our environment heavily influences our behavior
Environment includes our physical surroundings and the people we interact with.
Changing our behavior can be challenging if our environment remains constant.
For instance, someone trying to quit drinking might find it difficult if they continue to socialize in environments where alcohol is prevalent.
The environmental factors of our specific religion, traditions, and social environment dictate what is acceptable and what is often called “weird.”
The Role of self-perception dictates your mindset
Individuals with a fixed mindset believe their traits are immutable, while those with a growth mindset believe they can develop and improve.
A fixed mindset can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, making it harder to change.
A growth mindset will make more room for you to consider glimmers.
Our self-esteem and self-efficacy, or belief in our ability to succeed, play crucial roles in our willingness to change. Low self-esteem can lead to self-sabotage, while high self-efficacy can enhance our motivation to change.
However, changing these internal perceptions is often more challenging than changing external behaviors.
There is often fear of what is not “logical” when change occurs
Many people experience temporary change only to revert to old behaviors.
This phenomenon, often seen in New Year’s resolutions, highlights the difficulty of making lasting change.
Temporary change can create an illusion of progress, but permanent change remains elusive without addressing the underlying issues.
Superficial changes, such as altering one’s appearance or temporarily adopting new habits, are often easier to achieve than deep, meaningful changes.
Big change requires addressing core beliefs, emotional wounds, and long-standing patterns, which can be daunting and lengthy.
Goal setting strategies for real change
Focusing on small, incremental changes can be more effective than attempting radical transformations.
To focus on incremental change, it is essential to break down goals into manageable steps, which makes the process less overwhelming and increases the likelihood of success.
You also need a strong support system. This can significantly impact one’s ability to change.
Friends, family, and professional counselors can provide encouragement, accountability, and guidance throughout the change process.
Mindfulness and self-awareness are key to personal development
Practicing mindfulness and self-awareness can help individuals recognize their triggers and patterns, making it easier to implement change. Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation, can improve emotional regulation and reduce the impact of negative thought patterns.
Change is a complex process
In conclusion, the notion that people don’t change may seem disheartening. Yet understanding the underlying reasons can provide valuable insights. Change is a complex process influenced by psychological, biological, social, and environmental factors. Individuals can work towards meaningful and lasting change by recognizing these challenges and employing effective strategies. However, it’s essential to approach this journey with patience, self-compassion, and realistic expectations.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS: Want an advance copy of my new book? Please email www.ceoptions.com. Go to the contact page, and it’s yours. I wish you the best so that you can glimmer and grow.
