Summary: Rebels are often the leaders of the future. However, their argumentative nature needs to focus in a more positive direction. Here are some ideas for rebels becoming community builders.
Today we’re looking at why we get so stuck when things repeat and repeat. Einstein’s quote, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
And that’s the truth. Isn’t it the truth?
Rebels learned to challenge everyone, everywhere, all at once.
Therefore, we’re going to look at relationships. How we remain stuck in patterns.
And today, we will talk about the rebel and the boss. ‘
For example, I got an email from the boss of a company where she said, “I’m going bonkers with Donna.”
Donna is our best salesperson, but she goes around my directives. And with everything I say, she has to challenge me.”
Rebels challenge others so they are heard and acknowledged.
For example, If I say, “Today’s Tuesday,” she’ll say, “Well, it’s going to be Wednesday soon.”
Then, if I say, “It’s sunny outside,” she says, “Well, it’s going to rain tonight. So, what are you talking about.”
Therefore, she is driving me nuts.
Hence, everybody said, “Fire her, fire her, fire her, fire her,” and I thought there’s got to be a better way.
Consequently, I was reading your book, “Don’t Bring It to Work,” and I thought she sounded just like the proverbial rebel.
Transformed rebel patterns help rebels become leaders.
She has to challenge, then she gets all her friends and colleagues on her side, and sooner or later, they will swoop into HR with a complaint. So, I thought about what can I do and how can I do it differently.
So, here’s an essential tip for the day. I listened to some of her words; it was always about me being loud.
That is to say; I can be bossy at times, but not often.
Yet, this is what was told. That bossy was my way!
Is it okay for bosses to be “bossy?
Well, I am the boss.
So, I have to tell people what to do, but I’m very inclusive, and she said, “You’re always telling me I’m doing things wrong.
Well, she is correct about that!
Sometimes she does, and sometimes she doesn’t, and that’s part of being a leader.
Right, right, okay. Your book addresses how to communicate with a rebel.
To demonstrate, in “Don’t Bring It to Work,” you talk about how changing patterns can take mean the boss needs to help.
Change is an interactive method that can involve many people.
Furthermore, I talked to some people and thought, okay, let me change myself.
I thought about Einstein’s quote, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
It made me realize I needed to change before Donna could change.
Rebels who are acknowledged will listen when they are challenged. First, acknowledge!
For this reason, I called her into the office, and here’s the tip, I lowered my voice. Now, I’m not loud all the time, but I dropped it, so she had to lean in rather than push back.
It made a difference.
Then what I did was necessary; I talked a little bit slower.
I had lowered my voice. I talked a little bit slower.
Then I asked some questions. I asked her, “What can I do so we can get along together?” And then, I did something I didn’t do as much as I should.
Asking questions rather than pointing fingers at blame helps rebels see a better way forward.
I zipped it and listened.
Asking and waiting is being accountable.
Hence, I waited.
Accordingly, she sat there and finally said, “Well,” she said. I often feel you don’t think what I do is right, good, or appropriate.”
As a result, I noticed she started sitting back.
Again, watch behavior.
Communication is both body language, words, and tonality.
In other words, watch body language.
Also, listen to the words.
Above all, here is the success of communicating differently.
You need to commit to changing yourself first.
What happened was I committed to being able to talk with her more effectively the next time we spoke.
Still, I said, “If there’s a problem, can you figure out how to come to me first, and then we can discuss it before you start talking with your colleagues and creating a lot of stir about what’s going on?
Rebels will listen if you lower your voice rather than meet them at high intensity.
So, please, this is a quick tidbit when you’re talking with a rebel. Somebody who always wants to challenge authority will lower their voice. Talk more slowly and ask, “What can I do to make a difference?
Indeed, see what happens when you take the lead to change.
And remember that in the book “Don’t Bring It to Work,” there are many ways to help you change your communication style and release outdated patterns. Please take a look at it.
Here’s to your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. My newest book, “Invisible Stress (It’s NOT What YOU Think!),” is also a new doorway to learning about changing behavior for the better.
