Leadership Archives

Gutsy, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Patterns, Success

Are You Ready to Stop Self-Sabotaging?

Sylvia Lafair
October 8, 2019

I have received a rash of emails from women executives who are being plagued with self-doubt and a non-stop inner critic telling them “You fool, stop pretending. Business is never going to change.”

Does doubt keep you awake at night? Does that self-sabotaging voice get louder as the night becomes quieter? Do you know deep inside that you are destined for a more fulfilling work-life that just won’t ever happen?

Too many women are giving up and leaving great opportunities at work because they are self-sabotaging. There are such frustration and disappointment, and the results are to replay the old way: be passive and placating.

Here are the big questions: “How can that damn voice be tamed? What do I need to do to be fearless? What is the cost of being authentic?

Here is my response to all the ambitious, determined, creative women who are just getting tired waiting for the world to catch up with them and who are running out of patience, running on empty and still stuck in a cycle of self-sabotaging.

First, never give up!!!!

OK, I’ve been told: “That sounds good. Superficial and meaningless. If that’s all you can offer, you may as well stop right here.

Wait a second. There really is more.

WE MUST LOOK BACK BEFORE WE CAN BUILD FOR THE FUTURE.

What has been lost, trampled on, ignored, or avoided in your HERstory?

Here is the exercise that has helped thousands of women begin the journey to be fearless, authentic, stand out, be clear and ready to take on the world.

From my book GUTSY: How Women Leaders Make Change (pages 9-13)

My client Kathy is typical of many modern women. She is well educated and knows how to be politically correct in today’s highly competitive business world. She can be direct and clear, commanding attention most of the time. She can lead a team to success and gain the respect of her direct reports.

Yet, there is a heavy steel door that appears almost impossible to open. It is about pushing past a mind-set that is generations old. One that still labels and demands females to be nice, appropriate, and domesticated so they do not get a reputation as a bitch!

Here is what Kathy did to see how deeply her mindset had been set when she was still a little girl.

I had her buy 3 children’s books, books that are for and about little girls.

Now it’s your turn. Browse Google to find 3 books that will help you figure out where you personally got stuck. Here are some hints: Did you read these as a kid? Cinderella, Snow White, Nancy Drew, Eloise, Fancy Nancy, Olivia. Find 3 and like an anthropologist read them to see how they helped you become socialized.

Yes, what you read did impact you. Yes, it did.

Then answer the following questions:

Little girls should always ____________________
Good little girls would never _________________
You should never associate with girls who ________
Girls who are popular because they _____________
The perfect life includes _____________________

Want to do a real deep dive into the role culture plays in your present mindset? Contact me and one of our coaches will lead you through what needs to be changed so you don’t get trapped with outdated ideas.

AND men…..give the gift that will give back to you in positive ways. Buy your favorite ladies a copy of GUTSY.

Business, Business and Life Patterns, Confidence, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

3 Key Ways to Win at Work

Sylvia Lafair
October 1, 2019

My work with individuals and groups over the years has helped me to uncover 3 key ways to win at work when you’re feeling frazzled and ready to throw in the towel.

Have you found that at one time or another you wanted to stuff a sock in someone’s mouth rather than listen to them wail or rail?

Think about the gal on your team that never stops complaining, or the big shot who is always bragging, or the bully who steamrolls over others with their point of view and never listens to others.

You go home exhausted from the tension and lack of cooperation.

“It’s just business,” you say to yourself with a shrug.

Hey there, pay attention. That’s just traditional wisdom playing with you.

And it’s simply NOT true.

There are businesses with great leaders who get along, have fun at work, enjoy solving challenges together, and make great profits.

You belong in that setting. Here’s what many leaders have done to create workplaces that work.

Let’s look at the three main ways of changing what’s not working, for you or those on your team (Hint for leaders: you need to start with yourself before you can be of help to others).

Here is the way OUT:

Observe your own behavior: If you have a problem and you solve it, that’s great. That’s what business is all about. However, if the same problem keeps showing up time after time, well then, you have a pattern to deal with.

Once you declare a problem to be repetitive, then you can make change happen.

Understand the root issues: Close the door or go sit in your car. No distractions. Write out what is keeping you stuck. Not a dissertation, just a short paragraph. Now, answer this question “When else did you have the same feelings of frustration and upset?”

Connect the dots from past upsets to the present problem. My bet is that you will see quickly how the past and present are related.

Transform by taking action: This is where you commit to change. Take an honest look at the part you play in the on-going situation (yes, you do play a role, so don’t try to wiggle out of this by pointing your finger at others). Changing behavior beyond a superficial way requires discipline, experimentation, and practice.

There are 13 major patterns that get in the way of positive relationships at work. You can find out which one/s have you name on them by taking the Leadership Quiz at www.ceoptions.com.

Take the quiz. It’s eye-opening.

Cause if you don’t, you’ll stay stuck in pattern repetition, like the guy in the movie Groundhog Day.

Once you learn to harness your own power by transforming the negative patterns into healthy ones you get amazing rewards. There is more honest communication, better relationships, optimized team collaboration, and greater financial success.

Become a pattern buster and watch your leadership abilities soar.

We Will Never Forget Patriot Day Vintage Label Design. 9/11 Patr

Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Leadership Styles, Success

Where were you on 9/11?

Sylvia Lafair
September 11, 2019

As I was going to write about gratitude my mind went back to September 11, 2001, and I had to stop and just sit for a while and think back to that horrific day.

Where were you?

I was at The Country Place Retreat Center in Pa with four other people planning to start our very first Total Leadership Connections program at 5 pm with wine and appetizers, dinner, and the opening evening program.

That morning the 5 of us who were to facilitate were in the gathering room filled with last-minute ideas and details. Our wonderful maintenance man, Don, walked in, apologized for bothering us, and informed us in a quiet, almost reverent voice, “A plane just hit the World Trade Center in Manhattan.”

He had to repeat this several times before we could grasp what was being said.

We all ran to the TV never realizing what was in front of us as we watched the plane and smoke and fire and fear and…

The weather that day seemed to mock us. It was a magnificent early autumn day on the east coast, more like what we call Indian summer.

Of course, we could not start the program and told local staff to take home the food in the jam-packed refrigerator with food for 25 people for the next 4 days.

The five of us stayed together for comfort, no one wanting to be alone. The beauty of the day and the horror we would watch on television over and over of smoke and fire and falling buildings made us feel disconnected from reality. Yet, we needed the touch of human connections.

We stayed up late, addicted to the news. We wanted to hear and yet we wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.

The enormity of it all was impossible to grasp. However, it brought up old personal sudden painful incidents of the past: accidents, deaths, sudden decisions that were life-changing for each of us.

What did you think about?

Who were you with?

How did you cope?

Back to the idea of gratitude now, 18 years later.

In my work, I always suggest that each morning you take a few minutes and give gratitude for at least 3 people or situations in your life.

I want to give gratitude to the following:

To all the first responders who risked (and the many who lost) their lives to help in this hell-like situation.

To Jon Stewart, comedian and former host of The Daily Show, a 9/11 First Responders advocate, who went to Congress and in an emotional, angry speech shamed the lawmakers into reauthorizing the 9/11 victims fund.
To the people of Gander Newfoundland who played host to the world when 7000 travelers were stranded there after 9/11 and showed the dignity and decency of humans helping each other during a time of need.
BONUS: To Irene Sankoff and David Hein for writing a riveting and heartwarming musical about what happened in Gander in the aftermath of 9/11. If you have not seen Come From Away, go, yes go as soon as you can. It is an experience in what happens when the best of who we are shines through tragedy and ugliness. And take the kids who were not here yet or were too young to truly understand.

Please, please, get in the habit of waking up and giving gratitude to those who matter to you. The most glorious day can turn dark in the blink of an eye. And please remember this…

We are all connected, and no one wins unless we all do.

Business, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Leadership Styles

What Does Integrity Really Mean?

Sylvia Lafair
August 28, 2019

Did you know that integrity is the most mentioned business value in the world? In almost all cultures the concept of integrity comes at the top of the list which also includes collaboration, creativity, and communication.

Integrity is such a BIG word. Question is “What does it really mean?”

Traditional ways of thinking about integrity include what I call ‘The 5 B’s’:

Be honest
Be respectful
Be courageous
Be balanced
Be consistent

Sounds good. They all fit as part of the definition of integrity. And yet…

Be honest: have you ever told any little white lies or a big one?
Be respectful: Have you ever judged someone as soon as you met them?
Be courageous: Have you ever held back to play it safe?
Be balanced: Have you ever exaggerated to make points for yourself?
Be consistent: Have you ever over-promised and under-delivered?

Here I would like to offer another perspective about integrity. It’s about shining the light on the consequences of your behavior. I suggest that integrity must include taking the time to think through the results of our actions and the impact they can have over time.

The 1967 film “The Graduate” had a striking moment when Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) a recent college graduate is back at home with his parents as he tries to avoid the one question everyone keeps asking him about what he wants to do with his life.

A very helpful man pulls Benjamin aside to offer him career advice and says to him with a sure and smug attitude… “There’s just one thing I want to say” to which the college grad asks “What” and the man replies, “Plastic.”

By the early ’70s, the idea of everything plastic was where the winners would make their fortunes. Selling water (selling water?) in plastic bottles was becoming the rage.

Needless to say, there is more to the story, including Mrs. Robinson. It’s a fascinating film directed by Mike Nichols and a good one to re-see or see for the first time.

In any case, who would have thought that something so simple and useful like plastic could become the worst possible thing for our planet 50 years later?

Thinking through the consequences of our actions and how people and situations and things impact each other is at the core of integrity. We MUST start asking different questions and making a longer timeline for our actions and the reactions that will occur.

And that is the essence of integrity: to integrate all aspects of a situation and as best as we can, and do no harm.

Business icon, Warren Buffett says it perfectly, “In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don’t have the first one, the other two will kill you.”

In all of our leadership programs we teach that “We’re all connected, and no one wins unless we all do.”

And that, my friends, is the core of long term, sustainable integrity.

Want to know more about where you fit with leadership values? Go to www.ceoptions.com, take the leadership quiz and contact us to go over the results.

Also, for all the female professionals please join our private women leaders Facebook group. Here is the link to the Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenleadersinnercircle

Change, Coaching, Confidence, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Leadership Styles, Success

Giving thanks can transform your life

Sylvia Lafair
August 20, 2019

Giving thanks can transform your life, so let me start by expressing some gratitude and share some bits of wisdom that can help you feel more gratitude and appreciation for all that you have in this post.

First, let me say “Thank You” to all of you who are part of my newsletter network.

Secondly, let me invite all the women here to join my Women Leaders Inner Circle Group on Facebook. It would mean a lot to me to have you as part of the membership there. (Sorry men, I will have more for you when the Total Leadership Connections Program goes on-line in the fall).

Thirdly, I would like to say how much I appreciate my Pattern Breakthrough Coaches who make a difference for so many. You can see who they are here.

Fourthly, I’d like to talk about the role of gratitude in our world of “stuff and nonsense.”

I recently did a Facebook Live where I talked about 3 mental/emotional strength training exercises to help you go from overwhelmed to energized.

Several people messaged me to say that they had forgotten how important it is to appreciate even the smallest things in life that seem so insignificant until that is, you really look at what matters.

That led me to remember what renowned Vietnamese Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said many years ago at a meditation retreat I attended at the Plum Village Monastery in France. It is a big/small story about gratitude and the small/big stuff of life.

During the dark days of the Viet Nam War, there was little to appreciate.

Life was about just getting through, moment by moment.

Chang Kung, one of the Buddhist nuns came to Thay (which means teacher) and

expressed her weariness and despair at the pain and suffering she saw around her.

Thay suggested she give gratitude. Chan Khong was so overwhelmed and exhausted

she could not think of even one thing for which to be grateful.

Thay said to pay attention and something would reveal itself.

Later that day she was walking near a river wondering how much more she could do to

help the hurting and frightened people in the midst of war.

She looked down at the mud under her feet, wanting to be careful not to slip.

And then it happened.

Let me stop for just a moment to underline the power of living in the moment. It’s not easy since our minds will make up so many stories based on fear, revenge, guilt, anger, and righteousness. However, the more we practice living in the moment, the more that can be revealed to us. Here’s what happened for Chan Khong.

In the midst of the muddy mess, she looked over and saw a tiny red flower growing from

the side of a small rock.

That’s it!

No big deal, just a tiny red flower growing from the side of a small rock. Yet, What Chan Khong said to Thay about this moment is so special, it’s about the power of gratitude that we can all learn from.

She said that at that moment, hope returned inside her, thinking that if a tiny flower

can bloom so beautifully in the muck of war, so too could she continue to bloom

and help those around her.

She was able to look at the tiny red flower and show gratitude for its courage to

live and bloom.

She knew, in that moment, she too could live and bloom.

Gratitude can be exchanged for self-pity. It can make you feel better physically, emotionally and mentally. I suggest you spend the first 5 minutes, before you get out of bed in the morning, and give gratitude each day to three people or situations that make a difference for you.

Giving thanks can transform your life.

Business, Confidence, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

What happens when you put yourself first?

Sylvia Lafair
August 14, 2019

What happens when you put yourself first?

Are you seen as selfish, or even worse, as a narcissist?

And if you constantly put yourself at the end of the line, does that make you a good, caring person or a
whining martyr?

In times past…it was the protocol to be humble, smile, and not take much credit. That was polite and proper.
And in those olden days, if a child proudly said they did a great job of painting a picture, skating down
the street without falling, or baking chocolate chip cookies to die for, they were told to stop patting
themselves on the back and being self-serving.

Now, in this present era, there is a contest in all areas of life for people to puff up their achievements
and there is constant competition to be THE BEST.

How healthy are lots of bragging and the need to be better than everyone else? Even more to the point,
how possible is it to really become and stay in THE BEST spot?

One of my clients emailed me recently:

Dear Sylvia,

I took a nosedive for a few weeks feeling frustrated and depressed. I’m just about over that
ugly time and thought you would appreciate where I am now. As you know, I have always been the top
salesperson in my company and lately, there are a few young titans who are working 24-7 to take the
title away from me.

I learned from the coaching I’ve had with you to look at life in a more balanced way.

I really got that work-life balance is a big myth. You can’t cut your daily life into perfect pieces, like an apple pie.

Here is where I am now, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. I finally decided I will let these younger
people become the top sales gurus. I must admit, it took me a bit of time to look at my own ego needs
before I could let go of the B.S. of having to be THE BEST.

I know, I know, you kept hammering home that striving to be THE BEST and striving to stay there is just
plain stupid and can lead to exhaustion and overwhelm.

And thank you for constantly focusing on well- being as a top priority.

So now, I can put myself first by making sure I have all the physical, mental, and emotional nourishment I
need to support myself and also have the delight in knowing I am really good at my job and I can now be
of help to the younger ones and still, have a great career and good financial returns.

So many who have been THE BEST have to make way for others and how they do that shows how strong
they are internally.

I just read that tennis champion, Serena Williams had back spasms and had to leave the Rogers Cup Final
in Toronto. She is a great player and a positive person and rather than make excuses she handled herself
with elegance. No bragging, no defending, no explaining or justifying herself.

And just like me with my young titan sales folks who make me feel like an elder, the gal Serena played
against, Bianca Andreescu is only 19 years old.

Being THE BEST has taken on a whole new meaning that I want to share here. It means not competing
with others the way I used to, it means keeping myself strong enough to handle life’s challenges with dignity.

Like Serena, I want to continue to handle life’s challenges without needing to brag that I am THE BEST.

And I’m glad you have the tools to help people get out of the trap of our cultural obsession with needing
to be THE BEST.

Business, Communication, Conflict Resolutions, Gutsy, Leadership, Leadership Strategies

Being Able to Communicate for Clarity is Necessary

Sylvia Lafair
August 6, 2019

Being able to communicate for clarity is an art…even if we are speaking in the same language it’s often hard to get clear with another person.

My dear client Kellie called me, and I could tell she was choking back tears. I waited to see what the dilemma was. It was a big one. She was ready to quit the job because of an argument with her boss, that she said was ‘the last straw.’

I have also coached her boss, a gentleman who was almost always gracious and positive. So, I wondered, what could have set her over the edge.

Bottom line, it was a misunderstanding of choice of words and it really shook her to the core…and if she had just been able to communicate for clarity the drama could have been avoided.

Her boss was frustrated because she took time off without checking with him and no one knew where she was and could not get her on her cell phone.

He challenged Kellie and told her he thought she was being irresponsible and yes, he was angry. It became a ‘he said, she said,’ since she had told HR she was leaving to take a sick friend to the emergency room.

HR simply noted this, assumed she had told her boss and thought the matter was closed.

Kellie did the right thing and yet, was reprimanded. It was when her boss said she had been irresponsible that she flew off the handle. It was a word that had followed her throughout her teen years when she was caring for a sick mother and yet told no one when she left school early.

So, here she was, helping a friend and getting a sucker punch from her boss.

What could have been done differently? Could have either one of them effectively communicate for clarity and avoid this mess?

Mr. Boss could have asked what happened before he launched his attack. He didn’t take the time to get clear. And Kellie could have stopped him right at the start of his angry outburst and clearly told him what course she had taken.

Why do we hold back?

Why do so many of us crumble rather than go for deeper clarity? Why is there so much confusion when even just two people talk to each other, and often these are two people who want to get along?

More questions and less finger-pointing would work. AND sometimes we need to ask a question, listen to the answer and then…. Clarify that we are on the same page.

Kinda like the man who was stopped for driving a bit too fast:

A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said “Why are there penguins in your truck?
The man replied, “These are my penguins, they belong to me.”
The policeman said, “You need to take them to the zoo.”
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again since he saw the penguins were still in the back of the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time.
“I thought I told you to take the penguins to the zoo.” The officer said.
“I did” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach!”

Clarity! Just one or two extra questions can save a lot of grief.

And Kellie with her boss? They have a new practice when they meet to make sure they are clear with each other by asking each other to repeat back what needs to be done, state their intentions, and offer responses that are short, to the point and yup.. very clear.

I will be covering, in detail, how to communicate for clarity in my on-line GUTSY WOMEN LEADERS program. This may be a good time to set up a call with me for further details.

Business, Change, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

My Radical Sabbatical Update

Sylvia Lafair
July 17, 2019

Several months ago, I took a ‘radical sabbatical’ to recalibrate and decide on the next steps for my career. I must admit, that one month now seems like several years ago.

Why?

Because I wanted to do something new and different and I wasn’t sure what that was. I found myself floundering and I couldn’t decide. I was stalled. My mind was like an old gerbil wheel and it kept going faster with no real insights about what road to take.

I was in analysis paralysis.

I took that month of no writing and minimal coaching and absolutely no new projects. Until…

I finally decided it was time to put all my long-term programs online and offer them to a larger audience around the world.

I am delighted with the decision. It took till the end of the second week of my radical sabbatical to find my new path and I couldn’t be happier.

I have been learning so much about best practices for marketing material and in doing so, I am also learning to see my work in a new and different way.

I also learned a faster and simpler way to new ways of thinking that I want to share with you here.

Stay with me, please….

Imagine sitting at the edge of a lake with your feet dangling in the water. It’s sunset and the sky is filled with pink, fluffy clouds. It is quiet.

You are alone. Just you, bullfrogs, the butterflies, and the breeze.

You breathe in the clean country air. At first, your mind is still on the latest frustration at work, the conflicts and tensions of getting things done. You are aware of the stress in your shoulders as you reenact the ‘shoulds, coulds, and didn’ts ‘ that put your stomach in a knot.

You are ready for, if not a radical sabbatical, at least for a time to unplug and relax.

Here are some tips to help you take a short holiday from your everyday trials and tribulations. And the good news is, you can do this every day to refuel and revision what you need to do next.

You can take your mind for a walk in the park, a moment at the lake, a day at the beach and yes, you can do this without leaving your desk.

How to take a mini radical sabbatical

Twenty minutes: This is the time science has shown it takes for you to calm your thoughts. You can call it meditation or simply being silent. All you need to do is focus on your breath; in through your nose and out through your mouth. Simply say “in” as you inhale and “out” when you exhale. You will begin to relax and very shortly the tension will melt from your body. Then you magically make space for new ideas to appear and old issues become easier to solve.
Ten minutes: Get up on your feet. Now it’s time to walk. Anywhere is fine. Just focus on your feet. Notice how you put each foot on the earth. Start with your heel and then slide to your toe. Notice if you put different pressure on your right or left foot. Go slowly and simply say “right “and then “left.” You will soon get into a comfortable rhythm and for 10 minutes you can simply be anywhere on the planet you prefer. AND, if possible, walk barefoot in the grass. This has been shown to really help with health and well-being.
Five minutes: Hummmmm. Yup, keep your mouth closed and start to hum. Play with different octaves. Start low and go high or vice versa. You may even get a bit dizzy, enjoy the feeling. You are really giving yourself an oxygen boost. When you stop, you’ll feel energized.

You don’t need six months or even a week to feel different. You need just a bit over half an hour to be by yourself and get centered. Most of us don’t take the time to readjust our nervous systems.

See this as your radical sabbatical and let me know how you feel.

3 habits that may be keeping you labeled as mega stupid

Business, Business and Life Patterns, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

These 3 habits may be keeping you labeled as mega-stupid

Sylvia Lafair
July 8, 2019

Who do you work with you think is a dumb ass?

Someone who you will never ask for advice. Did you ever take the time to sort out the different levels of stupid? Here is a thought to ponder: Ignorance can be educated, crazy can be medicated. But what is the cure for stupid?

There have been dopey leaders since the beginning of time. Some will own their mistakes while others just get a glazed look and say “huh?”

Here’s what Cicero, the Roman politician, and lawyer had to say way back in the day “Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”

Check these 3 habits that can keep you labeled as mega-stupid.

And you know the old saying if the shoe fits …. It must belong to you.

Habit #1: Pattern repetition:

It’s so true that “if you also do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.” Henry Ford, Mark Twain, Tony Robbins, and many others have been credited with the quote. Take your pick, each is a super creative innovator and the opposite of a stupid leader.

Stupid means you hide under the covers when change is in the air. It means you are willing to end up with what worked in the past and is no longer relevant. That means stagnation and yes, pattern repetition.

Think about work this way for a minute…

The passion for being a leader or an entrepreneur is to be a creative problem solver. Once you solve a problem you get to the next problem and the creative juices keep flowing. It’s fun and challenging.

However, if you keep facing the same problems over and over and the responses are always the same, it’s no longer a problem. It’s a pattern.

Pay attention: when the tendency is to repeat ineffective, and often self-destructive behavior, you are in the realm of stupid.

Habit #2: Avoidance:

What do you do when a situation is uncomfortable? Do you find an excuse to leave or just pick yourself up to get out of the tension that conflict arouses? Here is a good quote to memorize from American philosopher Elbert Hubbard about being an avoider, “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”

Don’t take an avoider’s excuse at face value. They know what is going on and simply let others tackle the tough stuff. They usually only want to come back to talk when they think there will be a happy outcome.

Please remember that becoming self -aware is disruptive and inevitably requires change. And many times the change is embarrassing an even exhausting.

Stupid leaders let their fears keep them from engaging.

Habit #3: Denial:

This is a group of stupid leaders we could call the “NOTSEES.” (Say this fast and shudder!) They pretend the world is great and they are part of the truly best and the brightest. They always praise themselves, rarely do any research to see if what they are thinking has any true merit (flat earthers, anyone?), and they never have backup plans in case a dose of reality hits them on the head.

Denying what is going on will not make it go away (climate change, anyone?). It makes it tough for any real change to happen.

These stupid leaders will always point the finger at others while they defend their position, justify their thinking and attack those who disagree.

What can you do to help a stupid leader smarten up?

Your job is to speak up, stay centered and offer suggestions. You can talk about a book that will help your stupid leader take off the foggy glasses, even for just a brief time.

One great book is Whiplash: How to Survive our Faster Future by Joi Ito and Jeff Howe.

The cure for stupid is communication and compassion. You need to disrupt the traditional way of holding back what you are thinking and become a leader with your stupid boss or supervisor regardless of where you fit in the pecking order.

And, if you are the boss, maybe it’s a good time to ask HR to have a 360 assessment so you can see your weak spots in back and white.

I have a great assessment tool that has helped so many become better bosses and eliminate the 3 habits may be keeping you labeled as mega-stupid because it is focused on behavior patterns that are no longer effective. Send me an email and I give you the info.

Business, Leadership, Success

This Is A Good Time To Check Out Your Freedom Quotient

Sylvia Lafair
July 3, 2019

When is the last time you did a check-in about your freedom quotient?

Like your IQ and your EQ, your FQ is vital for your health and well-being.

On Independence Day, if you live in America, you have a great time to stop, spend a half hour and ask yourself some questions. Find out how free you really are, personally and professionally.

And, no matter where you live on this complex and beautiful planet this is a perfect time to check your FQ.

Question 1: What do you do when your ‘inner critic’ chirps in with “You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Who do you think you are, offering your advice? You don’t have the skills for what you are doing.”

Yes, we’ve all been there.

(a)Do you tell that noisy, bossy voice to ‘zip it?’

(b)Or do you apologize to the world and stay quiet?

Question 2: What do you do when you are talking with a colleague and they want to prove you are wrong about your comments?

(a)Do you smile, shrug and respond with “Thanks for the feedback” and ignore what they have said?

(b)Do you ask open-ended questions (who what where when or why) to gather more information?

Question 3: What do you do when you are ready to take a big risk to challenge conventional wisdom and your family and friends say, “That’s not how we do things here.”

(a)Do you apologize and say you were just thinking out loud and change your decision?

(b)Do you turn on your heel and tell them to mind their own business?

(c) Do you stand firm and let them know that change is difficult, and you understand their concern, yet you will move forward anyway?

Question 4: What do you do when a great opportunity comes your way and you know you are still in the middle of a steep learning curve and not sure you are right for the project?

(a) Do you ask for help to fill in the missing pieces of your education?

(b)Do you back away gracefully, only to mourn the missed opportunity?

(c)Do you take a deep breath and take the leap into the new anyway?

OKAY, what do you do now?

The correct answers are Q1:C; Q2:B; Q3:C Q4:A.

Here is the way to real freedom.

The inner you and the outer you must match. That is called being congruent and it is the direct path to being able to live a free and fully integrated life.

This is a lifetime course, to be free, in the true sense of the word.

It’s deep and often difficult work. Yet, it’s worth it. It’s what everyone wants, free to be you and me. No more closets to hide in, no more secrets to bury, no more feelings of inadequacy to carry.

My staff and I are getting our key programs that have helped thousands find freedom online soon. They are guaranteed to help you move into your real superpower, being free to make your best contributions and have relationships that are creative and rewarding.

Then, let the fireworks begin.

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