Leadership Archives

Business, Confidence, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

What happens when you put yourself first?

Sylvia Lafair
August 14, 2019

What happens when you put yourself first?

Are you seen as selfish, or even worse, as a narcissist?

And if you constantly put yourself at the end of the line, does that make you a good, caring person or a
whining martyr?

In times past…it was the protocol to be humble, smile, and not take much credit. That was polite and proper.
And in those olden days, if a child proudly said they did a great job of painting a picture, skating down
the street without falling, or baking chocolate chip cookies to die for, they were told to stop patting
themselves on the back and being self-serving.

Now, in this present era, there is a contest in all areas of life for people to puff up their achievements
and there is constant competition to be THE BEST.

How healthy are lots of bragging and the need to be better than everyone else? Even more to the point,
how possible is it to really become and stay in THE BEST spot?

One of my clients emailed me recently:

Dear Sylvia,

I took a nosedive for a few weeks feeling frustrated and depressed. I’m just about over that
ugly time and thought you would appreciate where I am now. As you know, I have always been the top
salesperson in my company and lately, there are a few young titans who are working 24-7 to take the
title away from me.

I learned from the coaching I’ve had with you to look at life in a more balanced way.

I really got that work-life balance is a big myth. You can’t cut your daily life into perfect pieces, like an apple pie.

Here is where I am now, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. I finally decided I will let these younger
people become the top sales gurus. I must admit, it took me a bit of time to look at my own ego needs
before I could let go of the B.S. of having to be THE BEST.

I know, I know, you kept hammering home that striving to be THE BEST and striving to stay there is just
plain stupid and can lead to exhaustion and overwhelm.

And thank you for constantly focusing on well- being as a top priority.

So now, I can put myself first by making sure I have all the physical, mental, and emotional nourishment I
need to support myself and also have the delight in knowing I am really good at my job and I can now be
of help to the younger ones and still, have a great career and good financial returns.

So many who have been THE BEST have to make way for others and how they do that shows how strong
they are internally.

I just read that tennis champion, Serena Williams had back spasms and had to leave the Rogers Cup Final
in Toronto. She is a great player and a positive person and rather than make excuses she handled herself
with elegance. No bragging, no defending, no explaining or justifying herself.

And just like me with my young titan sales folks who make me feel like an elder, the gal Serena played
against, Bianca Andreescu is only 19 years old.

Being THE BEST has taken on a whole new meaning that I want to share here. It means not competing
with others the way I used to, it means keeping myself strong enough to handle life’s challenges with dignity.

Like Serena, I want to continue to handle life’s challenges without needing to brag that I am THE BEST.

And I’m glad you have the tools to help people get out of the trap of our cultural obsession with needing
to be THE BEST.

Business, Communication, Conflict Resolutions, Gutsy, Leadership, Leadership Strategies

Being Able to Communicate for Clarity is Necessary

Sylvia Lafair
August 6, 2019

Being able to communicate for clarity is an art…even if we are speaking in the same language it’s often hard to get clear with another person.

My dear client Kellie called me, and I could tell she was choking back tears. I waited to see what the dilemma was. It was a big one. She was ready to quit the job because of an argument with her boss, that she said was ‘the last straw.’

I have also coached her boss, a gentleman who was almost always gracious and positive. So, I wondered, what could have set her over the edge.

Bottom line, it was a misunderstanding of choice of words and it really shook her to the core…and if she had just been able to communicate for clarity the drama could have been avoided.

Her boss was frustrated because she took time off without checking with him and no one knew where she was and could not get her on her cell phone.

He challenged Kellie and told her he thought she was being irresponsible and yes, he was angry. It became a ‘he said, she said,’ since she had told HR she was leaving to take a sick friend to the emergency room.

HR simply noted this, assumed she had told her boss and thought the matter was closed.

Kellie did the right thing and yet, was reprimanded. It was when her boss said she had been irresponsible that she flew off the handle. It was a word that had followed her throughout her teen years when she was caring for a sick mother and yet told no one when she left school early.

So, here she was, helping a friend and getting a sucker punch from her boss.

What could have been done differently? Could have either one of them effectively communicate for clarity and avoid this mess?

Mr. Boss could have asked what happened before he launched his attack. He didn’t take the time to get clear. And Kellie could have stopped him right at the start of his angry outburst and clearly told him what course she had taken.

Why do we hold back?

Why do so many of us crumble rather than go for deeper clarity? Why is there so much confusion when even just two people talk to each other, and often these are two people who want to get along?

More questions and less finger-pointing would work. AND sometimes we need to ask a question, listen to the answer and then…. Clarify that we are on the same page.

Kinda like the man who was stopped for driving a bit too fast:

A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said “Why are there penguins in your truck?
The man replied, “These are my penguins, they belong to me.”
The policeman said, “You need to take them to the zoo.”
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again since he saw the penguins were still in the back of the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time.
“I thought I told you to take the penguins to the zoo.” The officer said.
“I did” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach!”

Clarity! Just one or two extra questions can save a lot of grief.

And Kellie with her boss? They have a new practice when they meet to make sure they are clear with each other by asking each other to repeat back what needs to be done, state their intentions, and offer responses that are short, to the point and yup.. very clear.

I will be covering, in detail, how to communicate for clarity in my on-line GUTSY WOMEN LEADERS program. This may be a good time to set up a call with me for further details.

Business, Change, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

My Radical Sabbatical Update

Sylvia Lafair
July 17, 2019

Several months ago, I took a ‘radical sabbatical’ to recalibrate and decide on the next steps for my career. I must admit, that one month now seems like several years ago.

Why?

Because I wanted to do something new and different and I wasn’t sure what that was. I found myself floundering and I couldn’t decide. I was stalled. My mind was like an old gerbil wheel and it kept going faster with no real insights about what road to take.

I was in analysis paralysis.

I took that month of no writing and minimal coaching and absolutely no new projects. Until…

I finally decided it was time to put all my long-term programs online and offer them to a larger audience around the world.

I am delighted with the decision. It took till the end of the second week of my radical sabbatical to find my new path and I couldn’t be happier.

I have been learning so much about best practices for marketing material and in doing so, I am also learning to see my work in a new and different way.

I also learned a faster and simpler way to new ways of thinking that I want to share with you here.

Stay with me, please….

Imagine sitting at the edge of a lake with your feet dangling in the water. It’s sunset and the sky is filled with pink, fluffy clouds. It is quiet.

You are alone. Just you, bullfrogs, the butterflies, and the breeze.

You breathe in the clean country air. At first, your mind is still on the latest frustration at work, the conflicts and tensions of getting things done. You are aware of the stress in your shoulders as you reenact the ‘shoulds, coulds, and didn’ts ‘ that put your stomach in a knot.

You are ready for, if not a radical sabbatical, at least for a time to unplug and relax.

Here are some tips to help you take a short holiday from your everyday trials and tribulations. And the good news is, you can do this every day to refuel and revision what you need to do next.

You can take your mind for a walk in the park, a moment at the lake, a day at the beach and yes, you can do this without leaving your desk.

How to take a mini radical sabbatical

Twenty minutes: This is the time science has shown it takes for you to calm your thoughts. You can call it meditation or simply being silent. All you need to do is focus on your breath; in through your nose and out through your mouth. Simply say “in” as you inhale and “out” when you exhale. You will begin to relax and very shortly the tension will melt from your body. Then you magically make space for new ideas to appear and old issues become easier to solve.
Ten minutes: Get up on your feet. Now it’s time to walk. Anywhere is fine. Just focus on your feet. Notice how you put each foot on the earth. Start with your heel and then slide to your toe. Notice if you put different pressure on your right or left foot. Go slowly and simply say “right “and then “left.” You will soon get into a comfortable rhythm and for 10 minutes you can simply be anywhere on the planet you prefer. AND, if possible, walk barefoot in the grass. This has been shown to really help with health and well-being.
Five minutes: Hummmmm. Yup, keep your mouth closed and start to hum. Play with different octaves. Start low and go high or vice versa. You may even get a bit dizzy, enjoy the feeling. You are really giving yourself an oxygen boost. When you stop, you’ll feel energized.

You don’t need six months or even a week to feel different. You need just a bit over half an hour to be by yourself and get centered. Most of us don’t take the time to readjust our nervous systems.

See this as your radical sabbatical and let me know how you feel.

3 habits that may be keeping you labeled as mega stupid

Business, Business and Life Patterns, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

These 3 habits may be keeping you labeled as mega-stupid

Sylvia Lafair
July 8, 2019

Who do you work with you think is a dumb ass?

Someone who you will never ask for advice. Did you ever take the time to sort out the different levels of stupid? Here is a thought to ponder: Ignorance can be educated, crazy can be medicated. But what is the cure for stupid?

There have been dopey leaders since the beginning of time. Some will own their mistakes while others just get a glazed look and say “huh?”

Here’s what Cicero, the Roman politician, and lawyer had to say way back in the day “Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”

Check these 3 habits that can keep you labeled as mega-stupid.

And you know the old saying if the shoe fits …. It must belong to you.

Habit #1: Pattern repetition:

It’s so true that “if you also do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.” Henry Ford, Mark Twain, Tony Robbins, and many others have been credited with the quote. Take your pick, each is a super creative innovator and the opposite of a stupid leader.

Stupid means you hide under the covers when change is in the air. It means you are willing to end up with what worked in the past and is no longer relevant. That means stagnation and yes, pattern repetition.

Think about work this way for a minute…

The passion for being a leader or an entrepreneur is to be a creative problem solver. Once you solve a problem you get to the next problem and the creative juices keep flowing. It’s fun and challenging.

However, if you keep facing the same problems over and over and the responses are always the same, it’s no longer a problem. It’s a pattern.

Pay attention: when the tendency is to repeat ineffective, and often self-destructive behavior, you are in the realm of stupid.

Habit #2: Avoidance:

What do you do when a situation is uncomfortable? Do you find an excuse to leave or just pick yourself up to get out of the tension that conflict arouses? Here is a good quote to memorize from American philosopher Elbert Hubbard about being an avoider, “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”

Don’t take an avoider’s excuse at face value. They know what is going on and simply let others tackle the tough stuff. They usually only want to come back to talk when they think there will be a happy outcome.

Please remember that becoming self -aware is disruptive and inevitably requires change. And many times the change is embarrassing an even exhausting.

Stupid leaders let their fears keep them from engaging.

Habit #3: Denial:

This is a group of stupid leaders we could call the “NOTSEES.” (Say this fast and shudder!) They pretend the world is great and they are part of the truly best and the brightest. They always praise themselves, rarely do any research to see if what they are thinking has any true merit (flat earthers, anyone?), and they never have backup plans in case a dose of reality hits them on the head.

Denying what is going on will not make it go away (climate change, anyone?). It makes it tough for any real change to happen.

These stupid leaders will always point the finger at others while they defend their position, justify their thinking and attack those who disagree.

What can you do to help a stupid leader smarten up?

Your job is to speak up, stay centered and offer suggestions. You can talk about a book that will help your stupid leader take off the foggy glasses, even for just a brief time.

One great book is Whiplash: How to Survive our Faster Future by Joi Ito and Jeff Howe.

The cure for stupid is communication and compassion. You need to disrupt the traditional way of holding back what you are thinking and become a leader with your stupid boss or supervisor regardless of where you fit in the pecking order.

And, if you are the boss, maybe it’s a good time to ask HR to have a 360 assessment so you can see your weak spots in back and white.

I have a great assessment tool that has helped so many become better bosses and eliminate the 3 habits may be keeping you labeled as mega-stupid because it is focused on behavior patterns that are no longer effective. Send me an email and I give you the info.

Business, Leadership, Success

This Is A Good Time To Check Out Your Freedom Quotient

Sylvia Lafair
July 3, 2019

When is the last time you did a check-in about your freedom quotient?

Like your IQ and your EQ, your FQ is vital for your health and well-being.

On Independence Day, if you live in America, you have a great time to stop, spend a half hour and ask yourself some questions. Find out how free you really are, personally and professionally.

And, no matter where you live on this complex and beautiful planet this is a perfect time to check your FQ.

Question 1: What do you do when your ‘inner critic’ chirps in with “You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Who do you think you are, offering your advice? You don’t have the skills for what you are doing.”

Yes, we’ve all been there.

(a)Do you tell that noisy, bossy voice to ‘zip it?’

(b)Or do you apologize to the world and stay quiet?

Question 2: What do you do when you are talking with a colleague and they want to prove you are wrong about your comments?

(a)Do you smile, shrug and respond with “Thanks for the feedback” and ignore what they have said?

(b)Do you ask open-ended questions (who what where when or why) to gather more information?

Question 3: What do you do when you are ready to take a big risk to challenge conventional wisdom and your family and friends say, “That’s not how we do things here.”

(a)Do you apologize and say you were just thinking out loud and change your decision?

(b)Do you turn on your heel and tell them to mind their own business?

(c) Do you stand firm and let them know that change is difficult, and you understand their concern, yet you will move forward anyway?

Question 4: What do you do when a great opportunity comes your way and you know you are still in the middle of a steep learning curve and not sure you are right for the project?

(a) Do you ask for help to fill in the missing pieces of your education?

(b)Do you back away gracefully, only to mourn the missed opportunity?

(c)Do you take a deep breath and take the leap into the new anyway?

OKAY, what do you do now?

The correct answers are Q1:C; Q2:B; Q3:C Q4:A.

Here is the way to real freedom.

The inner you and the outer you must match. That is called being congruent and it is the direct path to being able to live a free and fully integrated life.

This is a lifetime course, to be free, in the true sense of the word.

It’s deep and often difficult work. Yet, it’s worth it. It’s what everyone wants, free to be you and me. No more closets to hide in, no more secrets to bury, no more feelings of inadequacy to carry.

My staff and I are getting our key programs that have helped thousands find freedom online soon. They are guaranteed to help you move into your real superpower, being free to make your best contributions and have relationships that are creative and rewarding.

Then, let the fireworks begin.

Business, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Leadership Styles, Success

3 Habits You Want to Avoid at All Costs

Sylvia Lafair
June 26, 2019

Which do you want to be labeled as smart or dumb? I this article I cover the 3 habits you want to avoid at all costs.

Let me ask you a question: Who do you work with you think is a dumb ass?

There have been dopey leaders since the beginning of time. Some will own their mistakes while others just get a glazed look and say “huh?”

Here’s what Cicero, the Roman politician, and lawyer had to say way back in the day “Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”

Here are 3 habits you want to avoid and will label you as mega-stupid

And you know the old saying if the shoe fits …. It must belong to you

Habit #1: Pattern repetition

Think about work this way for a minute. The passion of being a leader or an entrepreneur is to be a creative problem solver. Once you solve a problem you get to the next problem and the creative juices keep flowing. It’s fun and challenging.

However, if you keep facing the same problems over and over and the responses are always the same, it’s no longer a problem. It’s a pattern.

Pay attention: when the tendency is to repeat ineffective, and often self-destructive behavior, you are in the realm of stupid.

Habit #2: Avoidance

Please remember that becoming self -aware is disruptive and inevitably requires change. And many times the change is embarrassing an even exhausting.

Stupid leaders let their fears keep them from engaging.

Habit #3: Denial

Denying what is going on will not make it go away (climate change, anyone?). It makes it tough for any real change to happen.

These stupid leaders will always point the finger at others while they defend their position, justify their thinking and attack those who disagree.

What can you do to help a stupid leader smarten up?

Your job is to speak up, stay centered and offer suggestions. You can talk about a book that will help your stupid leader take off the foggy glasses, even for just a brief time.

One great book is Whiplash: How to Survive our Faster Future by Joi Ito and Jeff Howe.

And, if you are the boss, maybe it’s a good time to ask HR to have a 360 assessment so you can see your weak spots in back and white.

I have a great assessment tool that has helped so many become better bosses because it is focused on behavior patterns that are no longer effective. Send me an email sylvia@ceoptions.com and I give you the info.

Conflict Resolutions, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Patterns, Success

Is being a leader a good idea?

Sylvia Lafair
June 12, 2019

Have you ever wondered if being a leader is such a good idea? Or, if you are in a strong leadership position, have you ever wondered if you made the right choice.

Leadership sounds so great. However, it’s not the ‘piece of cake’ so many people think it is.

Recently I got an email from one of the graduates from our Total Leadership Connections Program who had a seemingly perfect promotion as the COO of a major company. All was good during the honeymoon phase and recently all hell has broken out.

“Sylvia, I made a dreadful mistake…

This job is high profile and pays well. However, I am now learning it’s like living in a hornet’s nest. There is more in-fighting going on and office politics than I ever expected.

Damn!

Instead of being able to step into the role of a leader, my life has morphed into simply being both the fire marshal and the fireman.

Every day there is scorched earth because of the backstabbing and nastiness. I didn’t know the person I replaced had left so much negativity and nastiness behind for me to clean up.

I don’t know if I can handle this crap.

My wife said I am sullen and introspective all the time and even the kids are asking why daddy is always in a bad mood.

I know we learned a ton about how teams operate when I was in TLC and that has helped. However, it’s the day in and day out fires that have me annoyed and frustrated. Question: How long will it take till I have a team of people who can collaborate and create together without the turmoil.

HELP!!!.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Dan

Here was my reply to this very capable and competent leader:

Dear Dan,

You are expressing the thoughts of so many leaders who must use the ‘ROTO-ROOTER’ method to clean out the ‘stuck plumbing.’

We can go into the details of office politics later.

For now, I really want you to take a really deep breath and think about the core of what it means to be a leader. You can’t address the specifics until you rethink your personal mission statement and why you were so excited about taking this job in the first place, money, and prestige aside.

I hope you find this helpful.

Leading is not for the faint of heart. Leaders live dangerously, all the time. Frankly, it’s something you just need to get used to. Yes, it’s romantic and dramatic and exciting to be a leader. You are looked up to at work, in the community and hopefully at home also.

Leading can be inspirational and you can have a major impact on the lives of those who work with and for you. You can help to build fortunes and increase the bottom line.

Now, onto risk assessment.

You can and will take risks that may even jeopardize your career and impact your personal life. This is a tough place to be when most of us have been taught not to rock the boat.

Leaders need to learn how to meet resistance while disrupting the status quo. For, I promise you, there will be resistance to change. And when the resistance comes most leaders will revert to playing it safe and the old way.

I can tell you that as you sort through the office politics mess and decide you are ready to take the risk to plunge in and make the changes, you may get burned while attempting to put out the fires.

I want to suggest that there are ways to make a difference, strategies that can help with the turnaround.

You learned many of them when we talked about the 13 behavior patterns that come with us from our first organization, the family and into our present organization at work.

Now, you are ready for the advanced session of how to get your team to be more accountable, more productive and well….. just plain nicer with each other.

Please review Chapter 7 in Don’t Bring It To Work.

The title of the chapter is Talking Together. After reading we can reconnect. You just need a bit of a refresher on how to help your team surface the hidden conflict that has them so riled up.

Leadership is complex, challenging and creative. I know you have the core strength to make your job and your team spectacular.

Keep going and keep growing,

Sylvia.

Communication, Conflict Resolutions, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

Be a positive force in the workplace

Sylvia Lafair
May 29, 2019

What does it take to be a positive force in the workplace? I’ve been getting so many calls about conflict at work and even in communities that got me wondering.

Are we becoming a more argumentative society or are we simply bringing to the surface what has been hidden way deep down and now is the time for more truth?

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this.

Did you ever wonder why some people are extremely emotionally accident prone? They come to work with a dark cloud over their head dripping rain and constantly frowning while others are standing in the sunshine right next to them.

In my research about what makes some individuals so happy and positive and others so sullen and nasty I found that repetition of the positive has tons of merit. And yes, practice makes perfect.

I’ve made a checklist of 7 ways to make sure at least you can be a positive force in the workplace and not succumb to the negativity that is another pollutant in the world.

- Use positive language: Words have energy. Use those that inspire rather than ones that can cause unnecessary fireworks. Words like hope, appreciate and care get situations moving past the log jam of words like impossible, alone and pessimistic.
- Expect respect: Give what you want to get. The simple rule is to always say please, thank you and call people by their given names. These basic rules make a world of difference in talking with each other.
- Don’t take the bait: Stay with facts, not personalities. If someone wants to derail a conversation and starts to gossip ask them “ What do you want me to do with this information” rather than adding to the mix.
- Fly above the clouds: Hold yourself accountable and make sure you say what you mean and do what you say. Be clear and clean in your communication and use a sentence like “Here I what I commit to do.” And then DO IT.
- Be authentic: Admit your vulnerability if you are not sure about a situation or what is being discussed. One moment of “Help me understand” will trump hours of clean up work.
- Check your assumptions: Always ask questions to make sure you and others are on the same page. Simply say, “I would rather not assume, is this what you meant” and then ask for clarity. It will save a lot of grief.
- Create change: You know you can’t change another person. However, you can change the direction of a conversation or change your perspective. You know its working if you or someone else says “Wow, I never thought of it that way before.”

Have a morning ritual of appreciation.

Think of it this way…

Life is too short to spend your time in negative, destructive or wasteful ways of reacting. It is far better to be a positive force in the workplace instead of being a destructive force.

Even if things start out badly you can turn your behavior to the positive by remembering the guidelines above to shape your responses.

Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

I’m back from my radical sabbatical

Sylvia Lafair
April 3, 2019

I’m back. Yup, back from my radical sabbatical and raring to go.

Now, I know that most of us can’t just say “Gone fishing” or “Gone camping” or “Gone shopping” for a month. That is unless some difficult illness or family issue rears its ugly head. And that is certainly not a fun way to take a break.

I took the month off because I was starting to go in circles, and I was losing my mojo. Yup, it happens.

While I have always been known as the energizer bunny, what I used to do to keep on keeping on was no longer working. So, I took a deep breath to recalibrate.

Here is what I learned.

What worked in the past may no longer work in the present. Times change, priorities change, energies change, and those of us who have been successful using a certain formula may become oblivious to the need to find a different path. That is called “stuck.”
Patterns are meant to be transformed: You know the saying “If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always gotten.” The fun in life is finding new and unique ways to keep your mind sharp and your body healthy. Transforming patterns is fun and fulfilling.
Ask and you shall receive: That’s right. Once you ask for new and creative solutions and you stand still long enough for the new to show up, magic can happen. That’s when the synchronicities come into life and every day becomes like a happy holiday.
You are worth it: Often we stay stuck because so many people depend on us. We wear the same type of clothes, we eat the same type of food, we watch the same series on television, we call the same friends and colleagues. We often saying the same things over and over without realizing we are in the rinse and repeat model of life. Taking even a short time to re-evaluate says you care about yourself.
Having an “aha” moment builds new excitement: Taking a different path to work, talking to people you might ordinarily ignore, reading a book that has been gathering dust on the shelf, these may all lead to opening the door to the next level of the new you that you have been yearning for.
You can be in charge of change: If you stay stuck too long something usually forces you out of the rut. It often comes in the form of disappointment at work, dissolving of relationships, or even having to deal with the challenge of floods or fires. If you have no real understanding of how to manage change you are at the mercy of others and often that is when fear runs rampant. When you learn to handle change, even what is difficult can be mastered more effectively.
Creative options can become the new norm: Once you clear your mind and have the luxury of looking at what is working and what is not working you can find the best path that has heart and meaning. Then joy shows up and its time for you to make your next best contributions.

In the past month, I have met some amazing people, often by accident that have helped me clarify what I want to be doing for the next period in my life.

I have hired some top-notch people to help with the webinars and e-learning programs that I want to replace most of the retreats I have done for so many years. I needed fresh ideas and they are arriving like beautiful spring flowers.

Once the programs are finished my focus will be on writing another book.

This one about some of the fascinating adventures that my husband Herb and I have had around the world. I want to write about what it was like to hike the Inca Trail into Machu Picchu in Peru, spend time in the Amazon rain forest in Brazil, Trek the Milford Track in New Zealand, walk the labyrinth at Chartres Cathedral in France, and meditate with the venerable Buddhist monk Thick Nhat Hanh in China.

This will not be a travel story, it will be about how each radical sabbatical changed me from the inside out. It is about the power of experiences over material goods. It is about moving from fear to you may have guessed it, from fear to love.

My recent radical sabbatical made me even more sure that this type of break from work is a great idea for all of us and should be part of a wellness program in all companies. It can be for a day, a week or longer. The number of days is less important than the intention. Like, taking a break and being adamant about no work during that time.

I hope all of you reading this will look at the opportunity to take some time to reinvent yourself. If you want some ideas on how to do this to find what you are looking for, give me a call.

I’m back in business.

Best,

Sylvia

TOTAL LEADERSHIP CONNECTIONS™ LEVEL 1 People in office sitting working in group

Coaching, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

In the leadership business, what are we really selling?

Sylvia Lafair
February 13, 2019

What do you think you are buying when you buy perfume, or a car, or a vacation package to Hawaii?

I asked the question: In the leadership business, what are we really selling?

Recent discussions with our CEO coaches, led to some fascinating ideas. The conversations were about what different types of brands really sell besides the products they are advertising. Ultimately, we were exploring what our Total Leadership Connections program is selling beside executive leadership development

We started with easy ones like perfume. Besides the good smell of roses, vanilla, or sandalwood, what are you buying when you put a touch of perfume behind your ears?

The fragrance house is selling emotions and memories. Research shows that there is a real physical connection between scent and memory. Smells are biological linked to our emotions. In our brains, the limbic system is where our emotional life plays out and is crucial for long term memories.

With perfume, clothing, cars, cosmetics, all the stuff to make us look and feel good what is being sold is an emotional connection to a dream. The possibility of romance, love, and conquest.

In the leadership business what are we really selling?

Frank Walsh, a CEO leadership coach and consultant talked about those who join our Total Leadership Connections Program from various parts of an organization. He came up with the idea that those in marketing are really selling empathy. Makes sense.

Then Jodi Klugman-Robb added that those who are strategists may say they sell tactics, yet they are really selling the ability to deal with constant conflict when change is in the air.

Herb Kaufman, the CEO of CEO added that for team leaders, we are really selling the ability to question effectively, listen intently, and learn about personal power and how it differs from positional power.

After a week of looking at what is underneath the specifics of selling our TLC program there was a consensus, that what we are really selling is freedom.

FREEDOM.

The freedom to breakthrough the patterns from the past that can trigger you and your team (and yes, even your family) to stay stuck in outdated ways of responding.

Remember what I said earlier about perfume and the limbic system. That’s what I’m talking about. Our TLC Program helps you find the ‘nots’ that become ‘knots’ and release them. We call it the Pattern Breakthrough Process.

We are hardwired to remember, and we must work hard to transform what no longer is healthy and helpful. And then, freedom is around the corner.

Remember, in the leadership business, what are we really selling…is FREEDOM.

Here’s to a fun and free life,

Sylvia

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