Summary: Stress has always been a part of everyday life. However, in today’s harried world, it’s on steroids! Work pressures, personal responsibilities, and constant connectivity make escaping it impossible. Yet, the real issue isn’t just stress itself—how we respond to it. Excessive stress can lead to burnout, mental health struggles, and physical problems if left unchecked. However, as highlighted in the book “Invisible Stress,” there are ways to manage stress effectively, and one of the key approaches is practicing what we can call “safe stress.”
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
My question is simple and yet complex. How do I find balance in my stressful world?
I tend to hold my upset inward and end up taking anti-acids like Hershey’s Kisses. That means a lot and often.
I need some methods to stay, well not calm, at least somewhat calmer.
Help please.
Signed,
Too Tense
Dear Too Tense,
Modern living has increased the level of stress. When change happens in a milli-second, there is little time to breath and regroup before the next “Breaking News” hits the airwaves.
Here are some thoughts that may help. And yes, please remember to breath!!
What is “Invisible Stress”?
Invisible stress refers to the hidden pressures we carry without even realizing it.
These stresses come from unresolved childhood experiences, societal expectations, or unconscious habits.
Often, people endure invisible stress because they’ve normalized it, thinking that it’s just how life is.
However, recognizing and addressing these underlying stressors is the first step to reducing their impact.
For example, most of us learned early in life to either “stuff down” our anger or “shout out” our upset.
Neither is the better way. “Invisible Stress” offers options for navigating situations from the “safe stress zone, ” where you find productive and successful relationships.
How to Practice Safe Stress
Safe stress is about managing stress in a way that prevents it from overwhelming you. Rather than pushing stress away, it’s about engaging with it safely and constructively.
Here are some practical tips derived from the principles in “Invisible Stress”:
Acknowledge Your Stressors
The first step in practicing safe stress is to identify what’s causing it. Some stress is obvious—like work deadlines or financial issues.
But invisible stress can be harder to pinpoint. Take time to reflect on moments of discomfort or agitation and ask yourself, “What’s really bothering me?”
Journaling or talking to a trusted friend can help bring these stressors to the surface. Once you recognize what’s affecting you, you can begin to manage it more consciously.
You then have the opportunity to change the outdated patterns.
For instance, the pleaser, who most often shuts down upset by saying “yes” to everything while thinking, “Are they bonkers for asking me to do that?” can transform into the truth-teller and learn to say, “No, that won’t work for me right now.”
Create Healthy Boundaries
One of the most significant sources of stress today is the lack of clear boundaries—especially in the digital age. We’re available 24/7, and that can leave little room for rest or relaxation.
In “Invisible Stress,” the importance of setting boundaries is emphasized.
Practice saying “no” to tasks or people that overburden you. Protect your personal time by turning off work notifications during off-hours or setting aside technology-free time to unwind.
And pay attention to what I teach about boundaries:
Remember, “NO” is a complete sentence! Do not defend, explain, or justify”
—-Sylvia Lafair
Breathing Techniques Help Reduce Stress
Stress often triggers a fight-or-flight response in the body.
To counteract this, focus on mindful breathing. Slow, deep breaths can signal to your brain that it’s time to relax.
A simple practice of taking seven deep breaths can shift you from a state of stress into a state of calm.
Mindful breathing is a powerful tool for practicing safe stress. It creates space between the stressor and your reaction, allowing you to respond rather than react impulsively.
Embrace Imperfection
Today’s world is obsessed with perfectionism, which adds immense pressure. Whether it’s keeping up appearances on social media or striving for excellence at work, the fear of making mistakes contributes significantly to stress.
Invisible Stress highlights the need to let go of perfection.
Start embracing imperfection by accepting that mistakes are part of growth. Shift your mindset to view failures as opportunities for learning rather than proof of inadequacy.
Think about the absolute truth that you like all of us, are imperfectly perfect, or if you like, perfectly imperfect.
Find Joy in Small Wins
Often, we focus so much on the big picture that we overlook the little victories along the way. Celebrating small wins can help reduce the pressure you put on yourself.
Incorporate daily moments of appreciation, whether it’s acknowledging that you made progress on a task or simply taking time to enjoy a peaceful moment.
These small celebrations can break up the intensity of stress and help you cultivate gratitude.
Practice Safe Stress with Active Recovery
It’s easy to think that stress can only be resolved by relaxing, but recovery from stress doesn’t always mean doing nothing.
In fact, sometimes active recovery—engaging in physical activities like walking, yoga, or gentle stretching—can help manage stress more effectively.
For example, in “Invisible Stress,” active recovery is recommended to release tension that builds up in the body from emotional stress.
These activities also help refocus the mind, giving you space to process stress in a more controlled environment.
Reframe Negative Thoughts
One of the most powerful ways to practice safe stress is to change the way you think about stress itself.
Rather than seeing it as something to avoid, see it as an opportunity for growth and learning. When stress arises, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I use this situation to grow?”
This mindset shift can transform the way you experience stress. Instead of fearing it, you can use it as a tool for personal development.
Practicing Safe Stress is Key to Living Well
In conclusion, of course, we all know that the reality of today’s world means stress isn’t going away. However, by adopting safe stress practices, we can prevent stress from becoming overwhelming.
The key is to address invisible stress, set clear boundaries, embrace imperfection, and incorporate active recovery.
Practicing safe stress, as outlined in “Invisible Stress,” allows you to stay connected to life without being consumed by its pressures. These tips can transform stress from a source of anxiety into a manageable part of daily life, keeping it safe and balanced.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, remember that it’s not about eliminating it entirely. Instead, it’s about managing it in ways that keep you healthy and grounded.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. Want a free copy of my book “Invisible Stress”? It’s complimentary until the US election is over on November 5th. Please send me an email at sylvia@ceoptions.com and the book is yours.
