Summary: The internet did what it does best: took a grainy concert video and turned it into a full-blown social media bonfire. The latest “did-you-see-this?” involves a CEO and the head of HR caught on camera looking very cozy. Let’s consider “two consenting adults” versus “a total breach of workplace ethics.”
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I would love to hear your comments about the “unsolicited” video on the Coldplay concert that created issues for more than just the two people seen swaying to the music in a very “friendly” manner.
You see, I have always wondered about our CEO and his VP of Ops.
The only difference is that this is about two strong and capable males who seem to be more than colleagues.
While there are no photos as stark and to the point as the CEO of Astronomer and the Chief People Officer, there is a lot of backroom chatter.
The VP of Ops is NEVER criticized. He is seen as the favorite. Whatever he does is fine.
Now, they may not be in a bromance. However, the inequity in how he is treated is causing considerable dissension.
I know from taking your online Total Leadership Connections Course that both trust and productivity suffer when the truth is stuffed and accountability is ignored.
Of course, I know that workplace relationships are complex, and I would love to know how you see the patterns at play in this kind of situation.
Signed,
Now What
Leaders are on the clock 24/7
Dear Now What,
The internet did what it does best: took a grainy concert video and turned it into a full-blown social media bonfire. The latest “did-you-see-this?” involves a CEO and the head of HR caught on camera looking very cozy.
It can be played as “two consenting adults” versus “a total breach of workplace ethics.”
Now, before we go further: I’m not here to judge their relationship status. For all we know, they could be either divorced or in the process of leaving their present relationship.
What I am here to discuss is the larger question underlying the buzz: When leaders forget that leadership doesn’t end when the music starts, what gets exposed isn’t just bad behavior, it’s a broken culture.
In fact, romantic relationships at the executive level, particularly when they involve a CEO and the head of HR, introduce serious practical and legal risks, from conflicts of interest to breaches of fiduciary duty.
The Real Issue Isn’t Favoritism. It’s Responsibility.
Let’s not pretend that leaders don’t have private lives. Of course they do. However, when your role affects power, perception, and promotion, how you present yourself, both publicly and privately, matters. When is the head of HR involved? That’s not just messy. That’s radioactive. Research shows that even perceived favoritism in leadership can damage team cohesion and morale.
Here’s why: HR isn’t just about benefits and performance reviews. It’s the gatekeeper of company values. It’s where people go when things feel off. So when the head of HR is seen in a questionable entanglement with the top decision-maker, it sends a clear message to the rest of the organization:
This applies to all in the Executive Suite. You are seen for, as I like to call it, your total leadership connections.
That means how you interact and react to everyone in the organization is up for observation.
For example, I had to take a new CEO to task for being what he thought was “cool” and “ trendy.”
He would walk into the office (this was several years ago) and smilingly say, “How you doing bitches.”
The women he greeted were aghast, yet too afraid to challenge him. Remember, this was a few years ago, before they had created a culture of collaboration.
He has since apologized for his “misread” of what is fun versus what is appropriate.
The behavior may have been legal, but the optics were not. Trust and morale had to be rebuilt.
Invisible Stress Becomes Very Visible, Very Fast
This is the kind of stuff I write about in my books: Don’t Bring It to Work, GUTSY, UNIQUE, and Invisible Stress. Workplace culture isn’t just built on mission statements; it’s built on the micro-moments of leadership.
Many companies call these “micro inequities.” The hallway glance seen as a negative eye roll. Saying “hi” to one colleague entering the meeting room and ignoring the person standing next in line. The closed-door meeting which includes only the chosen few.
When employees perceive favoritism, blurred boundaries, or leadership hypocrisy, invisible stress levels skyrocket. People start second-guessing their place, their worth, and the actual rules of the game.
And here’s the kicker: that stress doesn’t get talked about. It simmers. It morphs into gossip, burnout, and quiet quitting. The two senior leaders at Astronomer forgot that in 2025, everyone is a reporter with a smartphone and a TikTok account.
What Leaders Should Learn (Before the Next Misstep)
Here’s your backstage pass to handling relationship issues like a pro:
So, whether you’re in the C-suite or climbing the ladder, remember this:
“How you show up when no one’s watching will always show up when everyone is.” — Dr. Sylvia Lafair
It’s time to lead with clarity, courage, and yes, even a bit of choreography, because the spotlight’s already on you.
Want to prevent stress-driven scandals before they go viral?
Join my Total Leadership Connections online program or explore our Stress Mastery for Organizations toolkit. Let’s make integrity the new influencer trend.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. Our coaches are ready to help you find the best ways to communicate at work for high productivity and positive communication.
