Lately I’ve been getting lots of questions and frustrated comments about the BIG SHOTS of the world, the super achievers.
Many want to know how to get these blowhards to “zip it” and others want to know how to become larger than life like these often very talented (yet often very insecure) individuals.
So, here is a deep dive into the world of the super achiever.
Examples of the super achiever in action:
Tom is a perfect example. He went to the best schools, Princeton for undergrad and Stanford for grad school. And you must begin to wonder what’s his problem when he needs to mention this in just about every other sentence.
Samantha is another one. She is smart and strong. She got scholarships early on and is now a VP of a pretty well- known consulting organization. “Yes, yes” you say to yourself, “I know where you work, why the need to push it down my throat?”
Beverly has great ideas. How do I know? She starts her conversations by letting you know another great thought will now slip through her lips. So, you best pay attention.
What makes super achievers so annoying? They MUST excel at everything they do. And soon this becomes, to put it mildly, obnoxious. They make Superman and Wonder Woman look like lazy dolts who can’t keep up.
And, not only are they at the top of the pecking order at work, guess what, they have the perfect family. You hear words like “great” and “amazing” and “powerful” and did I say “great?”
Did you ever wonder why these folks are so driven? Here’s what going on behind the gossamer screen. Sadly, these folks are often driving on empty.
If you are a super achiever or if you work or live with one, please be kind.
There are mosquitoes in their successful paradise.
Look, it’s good to strive for excellence. However, having to be the best is an addiction. The need to prove and prove and prove comes from earlier situations where there was some type of humiliation or shame that was often in the family.
Tom has an older brother who is autistic. When he finally went through our Total Leadership Connections Program he was able to connect the sadness in the family, especially the depression his mother suffered helping his brother just get through the day and he was determined to make her proud and happy.
Samantha, with coaching, was able to look back also see how she needed to make her hard-working parents feel pride, that all their sacrifices were well worth it because their daughter is a major success.
Beverly, well, she still needs a hit to the gut. She has no clue that she turns off everyone around her with her know-it-all attitude. She was adopted at birth and still needs to prove to the world she can be accepted. However, her behavior does the opposite. It turns people away (her worst fear).
Watch the video and listen deeply. Know that excellence is a natural state to go toward. Being a super achiever is exhausting and becomes fruitless and tiring over the years.
The good news, super achievers, once they can touch the root of their obsession, become creative collaborators. They include others and find greater satisfaction in being part of a team rather than “the one and only.”