Let me ask you a question are you gutsy or bold? Let’s dive deeper into this discussion and ask you a few more questions:
Are you one of the women or men who walk into a meeting room and go right for the front row?
Or when someone asks for a volunteer to come on stage, not knowing what to expect, you’re right there at the head of the line?
Or do you speak up when opinions are requested, even knowing what you have to say might be against conventional wisdom?
If this is your way of behaving, you can go do something else. No need to keep reading.
However, if you are like most of us, waiting to see where others are sitting before you grab a chair, or slinking back in your seat to make sure you won’t be called on, or checking the way the wind is blowing before speaking up, and then only saying what is politically correct, then read on.
You need a confidence booster shot.
Being GUTSY and BOLD is mostly a learned behavior and yes, you can learn it and be the better for it, at work and at home.
What does it take?
Clarity: This first step takes the most time.
You need to sit quietly for up to an hour and write down all the things you want to accomplish in life. Write fast.
Don’t ponder. Just write.
Some things you jot down will sound superficial, so what. Some will sound grandiose, so what. Some will sound doable and other impossible, so what. Great, now you can get to the meat (real or plant-based) of what it means to be GUTSY and BOLD.
Pick the top three from your list. They will be the ones to help you toward a goal of stronger confidence. Put them on a separate piece of paper and make them into a mission statement for your eyes only.
Creativity: Ready to make a difference?
You need to dig down inside and find out what has been holding you back. Did someone say something nasty to or about you when you were a kid? That stuff stays at the bottom of your emotional register forever, or until you drain the swamp.
The way OUT of the old you and into the new you come from facing those defining moments that shaped you to either be a frontrunner or sit in the back of the room.
And no, you don’t have to find every moment that formed you, three or four will show you the way to observe, understand and transform what is ingrained and no longer useful.
Make a game of it. Sing it, dance it, write it, paint it. And then let it go.
Communication: It’s time to change your narrative.
Begin with the words ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ Practice saying the opposite. An example is if you are asked to take on an extra project and you normally are a pleaser, say no and just watch what happens.
And if your natural tendency is to say no, well a hearty yes could change the direction of the situation and who knows, it could be a confidence booster.
Practice when to speak up or shut up and even show up. Take a month and do the opposite. You will learn a lot about yourself and, like physical exercise, it will make you stronger and more confident.
Building confidence is an inner job.
Communicating with confidence is the outer reflection of your inner self. Using creative techniques to gain a clearer, stronger sense of self is the bridge from your inner world to your outer one.
In all the leadership development courses I have taught everyone wants to learn how to become GUTSY and BOLD.
Learn to untie the knots (am not, cannot, should not) that stand in the way of your personal and professional power. Come on, you can do it!
Best,
Sylvia
