Summary: Emotional intelligence is a valuable skill that transcends industries and professions. We can learn much from those who navigate fame with grace and authenticity. Here, we explore how Taylor Swift, the globally celebrated pop sensation, shows the importance of emotional intelligence and its impact on personal and professional growth.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I have a self-involved boss who constantly blames others for whatever is going on at work.
She points fingers and says, “I have to stand up for all the people, like me, who grew up without lots of money and are successful.”
She talks about how her “innovative” ideas make her feel like an outsider.
My team cannot talk with her.
It’s wild that she discusses growing up poor. Yet she inherited our marketing company from her now-deceased father.
Emotional intelligence can help staff thrive.
There is a lot of staff turnover, and I am almost ready to join the “let’s out of here bandwagon.”
I don’t know if there is a possibility of her changing. However, I am still hoping I, as an SVP, can influence her.
For this reason, I gave her a copy of your book “GUTSY: How Women Leaders Make Change.” She has yet to open it.
Thanks for any help you can give,
Signed,
EQ cheerleader
Numbers and logic without emotional intelligence limit organizational success.
Dear EQ Cheerleader,
As I read your request, I was struck by the difference between two women, both in the news a great deal.
As a family therapist by training, I have followed Meghan Markle since she decided to tackle family issues, her own and her husband’s, in a way that makes me sad.
Most importantly, I spent years helping complex families reunite and find better ways of relating.
We learned in our original organization that the family shows up at work.
I eventually pivoted to working as an executive coach and leadership educator.
I, with the rest of the world, watched Taylor Swift become an international force. Not just her music but also how she talks about and respects her parents.
Not just her parents but how she respects her fans and people.
I decided to compare and contrast the two women from the vantage place of emotional intelligence.
Here are my findings:
Authentic self-expression is critical to emotional intelligence.
Taylor Swift’s music is a testament to her ability to show genuine emotions.
I watched many of her interviews.
I had a gut reaction that she was honest about navigating relationships.
You can be honest without making everyone else “bad and wrong.”
While she did talk about the changing role of women in the music/media industry and was clear about the injustices, it was as a teaching tool rather than just a finger-pointing negative.
Whereas Meghan Markle appears bitter.
For example, she discussed how she felt like a “bimbo” on the television show “Deal or No Deal.”
Meghan was paid relatively and yet needed to shame the program producers.
She commented, “I didn’t like being forced to be all looks and little substance.
I wonder what she thought her role in opening a suitcase was meant to be.
Those who always take the negative about life get exposure; however, it is often simply the need for attention.
You know those folks who think any attention is better than no attention.
In short, Meghan Markle can benefit from embracing her authentic self in her public role, allowing her genuine emotions and experiences to shine through without always blaming.
This authenticity fosters connection and understanding, essential components of emotional intelligence.
Empathy in creativity touches the heart as well as the mind.
Swift’s ability to create universally relatable music stems from her empathy in various roles and projects.
Most young and older can relate to relationships not working to our advantage and the inner pain it brings. That is one reason so many embrace her music. Males, as well as females, know the pain of being left out or gaslighted.
However, we all yearn for examples of exploring new ways of handling complex relationships and moving to new heights of success.
Perhaps Meghan Markle can integrate empathy into her creative endeavors. Understanding and reflecting on her audience’s feelings will enhance her work and deepen her connection with people.
Ultimately, she plays the victim card over and over. It is exhausting.
Navigating public scrutiny is always uncomfortable.
Both Taylor Swift and Meghan Markle have faced intense public scrutiny.
Swift’s resilience and ability to navigate challenges with emotional intelligence can serve as a guide for Meghan. Responding to criticism with grace, understanding, and emotional awareness can defuse tension and foster a more positive public perception.
Markle, on the other hand, is a master at what I call “JUBLA,” which means she uses judgment, blame, and attack as her only method of response.
Cultivating positive relationships is core to emotional intelligence.
Taylor Swift is known for her strong relationships within the industry. Meghan Markle can learn to cultivate positive relationships by prioritizing effective communication, active listening, and understanding the perspectives of those around her. Building a solid support network is crucial for emotional well-being.
For example, Swift recently flew to London to support Beyance, another superstar. Support is a two-way street that encourages trust.
Here is an interesting fact: a word for trust in Swedish is TILLIT, which works both ways!
Markle, however, has destroyed many relationships.
In addition to falling out with her father and half-sister, she cut ties with long-term friends and discarded most in the royal family.
Handling criticism constructively is the path to growth and leadership.
Swift has faced her fair share of criticism, and her ability to handle it constructively sets an example.
Meghan Markle can adopt a similar approach, using feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than a source of stress. Emotional intelligence empowers individuals to turn criticism into a catalyst for improvement.
All things considered, criticism is a message from others to look inside oneself to become a better person.
Effective communication is a vital aspect of emotional intelligence.
Taylor Swift’s ability to communicate her emotions through music is unparalleled.
She is aware of how she expresses her inner feelings to the outer world, which makes a difference.
Her desire shows how much she wants her fans and the world to feel good and connected when she talks.
By incorporating emotional intelligence, Meghan Markle can enhance her public speaking and communication skills. This involves both what is said and how it is said. This considers the emotional impact on the audience.
Coping with change is crucial now more than ever.
Both Swift and Markle have experienced significant life changes in the public eye.
Emotional intelligence equips individuals to cope with change by acknowledging and managing their emotions. Meghan Markle can learn to embrace change with resilience, using it as an opportunity for personal and professional growth.
Emotional intelligence is a powerful tool that transcends boundaries.
In conclusion, Taylor Swift’s journey provides valuable insights for those navigating the complexities of public life. Markle has much to learn; if she is willing, by incorporating emotional intelligence into her approach, Meghan Markle can enhance her well-being and positively influence the communities she engages with, fostering a culture of empathy, understanding, and authenticity.
I hope your boss takes the Taylor Swift route to be a better leader.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
