Summary: Every leader who has ever driven meaningful change knows this moment: you’re pushing forward, stretching the system, and the resistance hits like a wall. It’s not subtle. You can feel it in the silence after you speak, in the sideways glances, in the sudden reappearance of “that’s not how we’ve always done it. And yet, you know, this change is necessary. Not optional. Not convenient. Necessary. Here are some thoughts to help you through this difficult time.
Dear Dr. Sylvia
I have daily headaches during these complex times. Not because I am sick, but it’s because of the stress that comes with change.
I have a great team, and I don’t want to lose anyone to AI.
However, we will fall behind the rest of our industry if we don’t make changes and make them soon.
I know you talk about both the individual and the system (culture) at work.
I need some insights into how to handle the wave of resetting boundaries that are needed now.
Signed,
Caring and Confused
The Paradox of the Change Leader
Dear Caring and Confused,
The world is changing in ways that make head-only leadership obsolete. And humans cannot keep leading this way,
Of course, most leaders are getting headaches or reaching for the antacid pills
You need to align head (logic) heart (emotions) and gut (intuition) for the best results.
When you push boundaries, you’re not just introducing a new process or idea. You’re disrupting the emotional and psychological equilibrium of a system that’s grown comfortable with itself, even if it’s no longer effective.
That’s the paradox: people say they want growth, but growth always comes with friction. The same behaviors that once made the team successful, caution, consensus, and predictability, can become the very things that hold them back.
Outdated Patterns: The Hidden Anchors
As I teach, both leaders and teams carry invisible habits, patterns that were built for a different context.
For leaders, that might look like:
Seeking too much approval before acting
Diluting vision to maintain harmony
Over-explaining instead of trusting their conviction
For teams, it often looks like:
Defending the familiar, even when it no longer serves
Interpreting discomfort as danger
Waiting for certainty before committing
These patterns aren’t “bad,” they’re just outdated.
They were formed in a time when stability was prized over adaptability. But in a world that’s moving faster than our comfort zones, those same reflexes become liabilities.
The Emotional Cost of Being Ahead of the Curve
When you’re the one leading change, you’re often emotionally a few steps ahead, seeing what others don’t yet see. That’s lonely terrain. You start questioning yourself:
“Am I pushing too hard?”
“Why don’t they get it?”
“Maybe I should slow down?”
But here’s the truth: transformation always looks like resistance before it looks like progress.
The system pushes back precisely because it’s being stretched. That’s not failure, it’s feedback that you’re doing real work.
What Great Leaders Do Differently
Leaders who sustain change don’t power through resistance; they stay grounded in it. They:
Name the discomfort openly, without judgment.
Invite people into the “why,” not just the “what.”
Stay connected, even when it’s easier to withdraw.
Examine their own outdated patterns as fiercely as they challenge others’.
Because the moment you stop reflecting, your leadership becomes a mirror of the very behaviors you’re trying to change.
The Work Within the Work
Every act of leading change is also an act of self-evolution.
You can’t move a system without moving yourself.
The resistance you face isn’t just out there, it’s inside you too, in the parts that crave safety and belonging. The courage to keep pushing, with empathy and clarity, is what separates a disruptor from a transformer.
So when the pushback comes, and it will, pause. Breathe. Remind yourself:
The resistance means you’re shifting something real.
Continue to align your head, heart, and gut to offer the best answers you can to your team. They also have to learn to adjust to new boundaries.
And the work isn’t just changing them.
It’s changing you.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. Start the new alignment by reading my award-winning book “Invisible Stress (It’s NOT What YOU Think) or better yet, contact me at sylvia@ceoptions.com for more ways to stay centered when the winds of change are blowing.
