Summary: We all know what triggers feel like, those moments when something small sets off a big emotional storm.
But what about the opposite? What about the micro-moments that bring you back to yourself? Here’s how head, heart, and gut coherence can turn ordinary leadership into something extraordinary.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I am dedicated to helping people grow and chose Human Resources for my career. I now have the prestigious title of CHRO (Chief Human Resources Officer). In this capacity, I navigate the tricky area where there are many employee upsets and blood-curdling, angry comments from senior leaders.
One of the sentences I hear over and over is “Why can’t we all just get along!”
Believe me, I wonder that every day. I would really appreciate your wisdom on how negative behavior patterns play out in present-day work settings.
I’m all for whole-person leadership at every level and would love to bring your ideas into my company.
I want to be a bridge builder rather than a divider.
Thanks for your help. Also, I know you announced your new book, “GLIMMERS: Aligning Head, Heart & Gut for Whole Person Leadership,” will be ready soon.
I am waiting to get a copy. And I want to thank you for your other books. I recently read “Don’t Bring It To Work,” and it was eye-opening. I hope your new book provides continued insights into being a pattern breaker.
Signed,
Life Learner
What’s a “Glimmer” Anyway
Dear Life Learner,
One of my favorite authors, Tom Robbins, loved to say, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”
To me, that means that as we learn to curb our initial knee-jerk responses to what happens in our lives and find more effective ways to respond, our entire perspective changes for the better.
My new book (almost finished), “GLIMMERS: Aligning Head, Heart & Gut For Whole Person Leadership,” offers more ways to change your mindset and, in turn, the way you communicate.
I believe it can be beneficial for you as a CHRO to help individuals and teams perform better when aligned.
Let’s dig into the concepts of leadership coherence and emotional intelligence, and understanding glimmers.
Defining a Glimmer
A glimmer is that quick inner signal, a sense of ease, connection, or clarity, that says, “This is right.”
It might show up as a deep breath before you respond, rather than reacting.
Or the sudden warmth you feel when a team finally clicks into flow.
Perhaps that gut nudge whispering, “Don’t take that deal, it looks shiny, but it’s off.”
In neuroscience terms, glimmers are moments when your nervous system recognizes safety.
In leadership terms, they’re moments when your head, heart, and gut align, when logic, empathy, and instinct start playing on the same team.
The Missing Link in Modern Leadership
Most leadership training focuses on the head: strategy, analytics, decision trees, performance metrics.
All vital, but incomplete.
You can have the best strategy in the world, but if your emotional state is scattered and your intuition is shut down, you’ll lead with noise instead of signal.
That’s why so many leaders end up exhausted, disconnected, or wondering why people “just don’t get it.”
We’ve been operating with a partial operating system. We learned early in our schooling, head-only, while the rest of our intelligence waits quietly for an invitation.
Here’s the truth:
Real leadership happens when you integrate the head that thinks, the heart that feels, and the gut that knows.
From Fragmentation to Alignment
Let’s be honest. Fragmentation is the default.
We juggle too much, pretend calm, and push through stress as if sheer willpower were a leadership skill.
But when your system is misaligned, people feel it, even if you never say a word.
Your team senses the tension in your tone.
Meetings feel rushed or reactive.
Innovation stalls because no one feels safe enough to offer a wild idea.
When your head (clarity), heart (compassion), and gut (courage) align, you create a field of coherence around you.
That’s not poetic fluff, it’s physiology.
Your body’s electromagnetic field literally shifts, and people pick it up.
One of my clients, a brilliant executive in a global firm, told me what she learned from our coaching sessions. Now, before a tense board meeting, she closes her laptop, slows her breathing, and places her hand over her heart for two minutes.
“Now, when I walk in,” she said, “the room is different. Conversations soften. We solve what felt impossible the week before.”
That’s alignment at work.
Does it work every time? She says it helps about eighty percent of the time. That’s a pretty good statistic.
The Three Centers of Intelligence
To bring this to life, let’s break down the leadership system that’s been inside you all along:
- Head (Cognitive Clarity)
Your head helps you analyze, plan, and solve problems.
But under stress, it can spiral into overthinking or control.
The key is to notice when you’re trying to think your way out of a feeling. - Heart (Emotional Connection)
The heart regulates empathy, relationships, and trust.
When you lead from your heart, you create safety. Think of yourself as a beautiful plant. This is the soil where creativity grows.
However, when emotions are overextended, you may people-please or avoid conflict. - Gut (Instinctive Wisdom)
The gut is your inner compass. It’s fast, primal, and often underrated.
This is where you detect truth faster than logic can process it.
Ignore it, and you end up making polished but poor decisions.
When these three centers line up, your leadership feels natural.
You stop performing leadership and start embodying it.
Why Alignment Matters Now More Than Ever
We’re living in the era of dissonance. All over the world, there is information overload, emotional exhaustion, and social fragmentation.
In that noise, alignment isn’t a luxury. It’s survival.
Leaders who can self-regulate create cultures that regulate.
Calm nervous systems lead to calm meetings.
Aligned leaders lead aligned teams.
And aligned teams? They innovate, adapt, and stay loyal.
If you want an edge in this AI-driven, attention-splintered world, here’s the ultimate differentiator: human coherence.
How to Cultivate Glimmers of Alignment
Here is a beginner’s practice from my new book that doesn’t require an off-site retreat, just a few minutes of alone time.
Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Then take a few more deep breaths. Do this for several minutes. Then ask yourself what you want as an outcome of the meeting you are about to attend.
Ask and answer three times. Once from logic, next from emotions, and finally from intuition. Okay, now let all the thoughts go.
Then you can enter into the meeting with curiosity high and defensiveness low. You will be able to listen and respond from a more open and helpful space.
From Glimmer to Glow
Here’s the more profound truth: glimmers multiply.
What starts as a flicker becomes a flame.
The more you notice moments of alignment, the more your system re-wires for coherence and confidence.
This is how sustainable leadership is born. It comes, not from adrenaline, but from alignment.
Leaders who live this way become steady forces in turbulent times.
They inspire trust without trying, clarity without command, and courage without ego.
They don’t just lead organizations; they lead energy fields that transform them.
Whole Person Leadership
We don’t need more perfect leaders.
What we need are more aligned ones. That is today’s leadership training.
It’s time to integrate logic, empathy, and intuition into one powerful current.
Every glimmer you notice, every breath you take before reacting, every alignment you create within yourself sends a signal to the systems around you:
“It’s safe to evolve.”
And that’s the quiet revolution of leadership we need now, not louder, faster, or flashier, but clearer, kinder, and wiser.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS: While waiting for the GLIMMERS book, please read “Invisible Stress (It’s NOT What YOU Think)” to learn why it’s so easy to get triggered by some people and situations and remain peaceful and calm otherwise.
