Summary: July 4, 2025, began with hopes of fireworks and fun. It ended in a nightmare. Within mere hours, relentless rains unleashed catastrophic flash floods. Camp Mystic, a girls’ summer camp, became a heartbreaking symbol of this trauma. Here are some thoughts on coping with grief following sudden tragedies.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I live far from the flood area in Texas.
Yet, I cannot sleep and keep looking at my daughters, ages. 8 and 6 with worry that something awful may happen to them at any moment.
I know you talk about how sudden deaths are more complicated to maneuver than if there is an illness over time.
How do we help each other, especially children, through the heartbreak of sudden change and loss of life?
You talk about how your dad died suddenly from a heart attack when you were 14 and how the impact still haunts you at times, even now.
Please help with suggestions for how to maneuver what can change life’s trajectory in moments.
Signed,
Sad
Dear Sad,
Yes, there seems to be an uptick in tragic deaths from floods, fires, and firearms.
Has it always been? Or is it more pronounced these days because of advances in technology, which let us know faster and faster?
In any case, here are some thoughts from my studies and work as a therapist and business coach.
Acknowledge the Grief (Yes, Say “I Am Sad.”)
Grief isn’t a punch you withstand. It’s more like a constant stomach ache that crashes through you.
Suppressing it only makes it worse. Give yourself permission to say, “I am devastated.”
And give others room to express their fears and anger without platitudes of “You’ll be alright in time.”
A mother quoted in the Deseret News hit it hard:
“Grief is a beast… even deciding what to have for dinner becomes… no easy solution”.
So let yourself and others cry out. Let the numbness wash over you. Then gently exhale.
Ground Yourself in Community
This tragedy isn’t yours to carry alone. Texans have responded with generosity: from Salvation Army meals to mobile kitchens, volunteer crews, and emotional support for rescue teams.
Tap into Interconnected Strength
Join local vigils and support groups. If possible, sitting in the same grief is powerful.
Volunteer your time. Even if it’s simply cleaning up debris or preparing meals.
Share stories: of loss, of courage, of recovery with friends and family.
Embrace Rituals & Remembrance
Ritual gives grief shape. Across Texas, retreat centers, churches, and neighborhoods have tied ribbons, held candlelit vigils, and gathered for prayer in honor of the fallen. Whether silent or spoken, these small acts anchor grief and nourish hope.
In my own life, when a business colleague died suddenly in a car accident, I was asked to facilitate a day of remembrance with his business team. I intuitively brought a large bouquet with me.
At the end of the meeting, each took some flowers. The decision was to hand the flowers to someone they saw in the next few hours and wish them a beautiful day.
Interestingly, just reaching out to a stranger in a positive way seemed to help.
Seek & Offer Support
Trauma from such a sudden disaster doesn’t fade quickly. Mental health experts are urging:
- Professional counseling for survivors and responders.
- Simple check-ins with friends, colleagues, neighbors, asking “How are you holding up today?”
Survivor’s guilt is real. If you’re carrying it, know this: showing up and surviving means you’re here to do something with your story. It may take time for you to write or speak about your personal memories of the pain, conflcit, and confusion.
Do it. It will help you as well as others who cross your path.
Channel Pain Into Purpose
Grief, channeled, becomes action.
For example, legislative sessions are being convened starting July 21 to overhaul flood warnings and emergency systems (nypost.com, expressnews.com, and houstonchronicle.com).
Relief organizations like World Central Kitchen, Mercy Chefs, Salvation Army, H‑E‑B, and Whataburger are on the ground feeding and sheltering austin.eater.com.
Large donations, from Humana Foundation to the NFL and Dallas Cowboys, are funding recovery, counseling, and food banks.
You can give financial aid, volunteer your time, or advocate for better warning systems.
Hold Space for Hope
Hope isn’t a denial of pain. It is a companion. Stories of heroism ring through the darkness: counselors evacuating 14 campers to safety, rescue swimmers saving hundreds. These are the sparks we carry forward.
Practice Self-Compassion
Burnout in grief is real. If you’re volunteering, grieving, or consoling, be sure to build in rest. Go offline. Journal. Walk in nature. Listen to music.
And do not be afraid to laugh. This, too, is a healing salve, not to be ignored or pushed aside.
In fact, you may want to walk near water, like the Guadalupe, and let the river carry away some of your heaviness.
Grief Does Not Follow a Time Line
And yet, when you are hurt, hurting with the land or person that hurt you back, you have a choice: to be broken or to become something more substantial.
Consider being transformed by sorrow and intentionally moving toward resilience.
In conclusion, tell it like it is. There are no magic wands. Loss will sting. Be forward-thinking. Let’s continue to build better systems, stronger communities, healthier hearts. That’s what forward-thinking looks like.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
