Patterns
Summary: You know that moment. You open your mouth, and your mother or father comes out.“Do you think we’re made of money?” or “Turn off the lights; we’re not paying to illuminate the city.” Then,“Because I said so, that’s why!” It happens all the time. Here’s why and what to do about it. Dear Dr.…
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Summary: Many people grow up in unpredictable homes, where moods shift without warning, where you have to “read the room” to stay safe. In those environments, children often learn hypervigilance: a heightened awareness of potential threats, emotional cues, or shifts in tone. It’s a survival strategy that keeps individuals alert and adaptable. Dear Dr. Sylvia,…
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Summary: Most people who’ve worked with me know that I often trace workplace behavior back to family dynamics. It’s not about blame. It’s about awareness, recognizing how the lessons we learned at home subtly influence our leadership, communication, and relationships. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I always thought I was, like most women, a pleaser. I was…
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Summary: Resentment and burnout are not simply emotional states; they are physiological signals that a person has been living in chronic misalignment. The brain spins with overanalysis (head), the heart closes off in self-protection (heart), and the gut tightens, warning that something feels “off” (gut). This disconnection often results from prolonged stress, people-pleasing, or purpose…
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Summary: We live in a world full of noise, deadlines, and distractions that pull us away from ourselves. But glimmers are stubborn little messengers of hope. They sneak in anyway. For example, they arrive in a stranger’s smile, the smell of brownies baking in the oven, the sound of wind threading through trees. These signs…
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Summary: Family, culture, and tradition: our loyalty to them shapes who we are. But sometimes it cages us. Leaders must know the difference. Most leaders don’t fail because of competition; they fail because of the boundaries they refuse to challenge. Breaking boundaries isn’t about chaos. It’s about progress with purpose. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I am…
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Summary: Leadership today isn’t just about titles, strategies, or skills. It’s about you, and you, and me. It’s about how we each bring our voices forward, no matter our role. Today is about the courage to speak out, ask questions, and yes, to listen. We are at an inflection point, where we can either make…
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Summary: It’s easy to confuse talking with connecting. But not all talking is created equal. There are three very different forms of verbal exchange: conversation, debate, and dialogue. And the one that can change the future, at work, at home, and in the community, is the one we practice the least: dialogue. Dear Dr. Sylvia,…
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Summary: Let’s face it: these days it feels like the world is split into “us” and “them” about… well, everything: politics, workplace policies, parenting styles. Polarization has become the default setting. And when being “right” matters more than being in a relationship, the cost is steep: broken teams, broken families, broken trust. The question is:…
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Summary: The phrase, “That’s just the way they are,” has excused bad behavior for far too long. We often complain about parents or bosses who dominate every conversation, hijack good ideas, and somehow always seem to find the spotlight. But here’s the million-dollar leadership question: Do we have to live with egotistical relationships, or can…
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