Patterns

I Can’t Take Anymore Surprises…

By Sylvia Lafair | September 23, 2020 |

Dear Dr. Sylvia,Each day I think to myself “I can’t take any more surprises. I can’t take any more whining. I can’t take anymore bungled messes.” And then something else happens. I went into a deep depression after the news of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s passing hit the world.Look, I didn’t know her, and my daily…

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Romancing the Bullies

By Sylvia Lafair | September 16, 2020 |

Dear Dr. Sylvia,  Help me understand. My boss is driving me crazy I want to help and be a great colleague, however, what he is doing makes no sense.  He ignores those who want to help him, to be a resource, and make our company great again.  However, he ignores them, and instead he ‘romances’…

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What to do when you feel like you have no more bandwidth

By Sylvia Lafair | July 15, 2020 |

What do you keep telling yourself when you have no more bandwidth to do one more thing?  If you are a high achieving business person, I bet you just said to yourself, “I can always do just one more thing today.”  That’s exactly what my senior VP client told me two weeks ago.  And yesterday I got a call from…

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How to declutter your mind and get it organized

By Sylvia Lafair | June 17, 2020 |

Did you declutter your home during the past few months? Is that all you need to declutter? Here’s what one of my clients said that had me laughing and cheering him on. Two levels to declutter…. Your home and your mind!  “Dear Dr. Sylvia,  I have always been a leader, and I have been known as “the boss who is…

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It’s Time To STOP Being a Pleaser

By Sylvia Lafair | June 1, 2020 |

Hi everyone, Sylvia Lafair here, with some thoughts about where we are heading as the vaccine takes on the pandemic. Many of my clients have complained that they are exhausted and feel overwhelmed because they can’t say no. They are worried about how to react when schools and workplaces open up once again. Get ready…

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How to Deal with a Narcissist

By Sylvia Lafair | May 20, 2020 |

I’ve been getting lots of questions about how to deal with the narcissist lately. I began to wonder if this personality type is more prevalent, or at least more obvious during times of extra stress.  So, I did a deep dive into various publications and paid special attention to the news.   Yes, there are lots of…

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Time to Evict the Mind Monsters

By Sylvia Lafair | February 19, 2020 |

What are those whispered words that haunt you even when no one is talking? These words show up at the most annoying times. They’re the ones that live in your head, like uninvited guests you can’t get rid of. Each of you, yes, you, and you, and you, have certain phrases that are stuck. And…

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How Super Achievers Can Listen to Themselves and Others

By Sylvia Lafair | February 11, 2020 |

Before super achievers can listen to themselves or others, they need to know how they got to be so exhausting, annoying, and demanding in the first place.   Here’s how the super-achiever pattern was addressed with a new coaching client, Dan, a Senior VP in a large marketing company that offers leadership development courses for senior executives.  He said this about himself, which much initial pride, “Hey, I always have to be…

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Are you an avoider or initiator at work?

By Sylvia Lafair | February 7, 2020 |

Are you (or someone you know) an avoider?  You know…when there is conflict, contention, carrying-on in a nasty way that doesn’t stop, do you ever think “I gotta get outta here?” We all have that feeling at some time. However, when it happens over and over it’s a powerful behavior pattern…the avoider. Avoiders often grew…

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Time for New Resolutions

By Sylvia Lafair | December 30, 2019 |

It’s that time for new resolutions. Right? You know, the ones that usually become old in a week and absolutely stale by the end of the month. “Change,” I hear you say, “change is tough.” And it is.   EXCEPT There is one new resolution you can make that will reap tons and tons of rewards.…

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