So, let me ask you? What do you do when you get so foot-stomping angry, that were pounding your handle in a desk, that you just say: ‘They’re driving me crazy! He’s driving me crazy! She’s driving me crazy! They’re driving me crazy! What do you do? Well, let me tell you, there is an ark that you have to go to get to glad.
So, you can start with mad, and what you, do is take a deep five second breath, take a deep breath, hold it for five seconds let it out and say, ‘Where else have I had this feeling in my life?’ Just check it it’s somewhere else. Someone else and then you can begin to look at the relationship that you have in front of you. Usually, when we get really angry and here’s the clue. If it lasts more than five seconds, you better look back. Look elsewhere to find out what’s going on.
Now, from mad, you can go to side and inside. You can begin to look at how you and the other person or people are relating. Jot it down.
We know that journaling makes a difference. We know it’s good for a healthy heart. We know that already there’s research about it. So, go and jot down all the things that make you sad, not mad.
The mad is going to get in the way. What makes you sad? What I can’t the relationship work? Why aren’t they listening to me? What’s in the way of success in this? Why can’t my four-year-old just go to bed and be quiet? Why can’t my teenagers stop eating all the sugar stuff? Even though, I keep telling her it’s poison, poison, poison? Why doesn’t my husband ever do the dishes? You know it all. Why does my boss always ask me for things at the last minute? Why does my colleague always beg me to come over and help with her computer mess? Why?
You can go to side and what you do is look at the other person and begin to construct a sentence. Two sentences, three sentences and I’ve been giving you this in little clues over the weeks, but the words I wonder and I’m curious. They’re magic words. They take us back to our childhood where we were wondering, where we were curious. Are you still wondering and curious the minute you ask that of someone else? It kind of connects you at a different level. Oh! They don’t want to yell and scream at me. They just want to know something and the relationship can begin to develop now.
That’s just a beginning in my program, ‘The Gutsy Women’, women program. You’re going to get all the tools you need to be able to learn communication skills, but what I’m doing now? I have a pre-christmas gift for you. So, going from mad, take a breath, go to sad. Begin to look at the other person. Ask questions and then you can go to glad because you’ll be able to resolve conflicts that much easier.
Now, back to my gift for today. I would like to send to those of you who really would like it. The gift of my ebook, ’79 Power Sentences’ It’s really a great way to give you kind of a product. Have these words in your mind when you begin to speak. When you’re ready to have a conversation. When you can get from mad to sad to glad. It’s a great process to learn, so that you don’t waste all that energy.
We know that anger. We know that anger has impact on us physically. We know sadness does. I’m giving you some tools here, so that we can bypass some of these stages of upsets and not have to depend on something else outside of us, pills or not talking to somebody for the rest of your life.
All of that stuff doesn’t work. What works is to figure out where it comes from. Why the other person is involved with you. What to do about it and then have a conversation. Yes, a conversation. I promise it will make a difference. You will begin to see people differently. So, that’s it for today.
My gift, ’79 Power Sentences’.
I did a lot of research on it it’s kind of an interesting short ebook, but I believe it will help you. So, if you are interested, email me. Let me know. I’d love to send it as a pre-christmas gift, pre-Hanukkah gift, pre-happy gift, free everything gift to all of you out there.
Thanks ladies. Talk soon.