Blogs
The Power of Clarifying Questions
Transforming Conflict Into Win-Win SolutionsSummary: In the heat of a conflict, our natural response is often to judge, blame, or attack (what I call JUBLA), and then we move to the next level, to defend, explain, or justify (DEJ) our position. These are traditional methods in most cultures. Resolving conflict was to punch, jab, and…
From Bitter to Better: How to Transform Workplace Drama into Growth
Summary: This is a tale of workplace conflict and redemption that shows you ways to make real change happen. Enjoy it and use it in your own work life. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I am so tired of fighting with my colleagues at work. My pattern is “the clown.” I make funny jokes (at least, I…
How Karma Tumbles Through Generations: Changing Generational Karma- A Look at Elon Musk’s Family
Summary: Generational karma is a powerful force. It’s the set of unconscious patterns—beliefs, behaviors, and emotional responses—that tumble through families until someone finally decides to stop the cycle. We see it in our own lives, but it’s especially fascinating when examined in high-profile families. Dear Dr. Sylvia, Everything seems so upside down at the moment.…
Breaking the Cycle: How Patterns Shape Workplace Tension
Lisa’s response to Greg wasn’t just a moment of emotional intelligence—it was a shift in a long-standing workplace pattern. If she had reacted with defensiveness, their conflict would have deepened, reinforcing a cycle of hostility. Instead, by stepping back and choosing curiosity over combat, she disrupted the dynamic. This is what pattern awareness is all…
How to Spot Manipulative Individuals
Before They Take You for a Ride with Your Work and Your Money Summary: Have you ever met someone who seemed too good to be true, only to later realize they had manipulated, deceived, or even financially exploited you? If so, you encountered a “toxic friend.” In the workplace, these manipulative folks can be incredibly…
Transforming Triggers into Pathways for Work and Personal Growth
Summary: Do you ever sidestep discomfort, avoiding situations that unsettle you? Yet, these moments—your emotional triggers—are key to profound self-discovery and growth. By confronting and understanding your triggers, you can transform them from sources of distress into valuable teachers. Dear Dr. Sylvia, Yesterday, at my semi-annual review with my boss, he told me, and I…
Valentine’s Day Reflection: Hearing the Words Within your “Heart”
Dear All, Have a sweet and caring Valentine’s Day with your loved ones. Along with flowers and chocolates, here are some thoughts to consider. Valentine’s Day is a time for love, connection, and deep listening—not just with our ears but with our hearts. Ultimately, it’s a day when words carry more meaning. Think about when…
Misdirected Anger and Caring: Two Sides of the Same Coin in Leadership and Life
Summary: Have you ever lashed out at someone who doesn’t deserve it? Or overextended kindness in a situation where you need firm boundaries? These are two common behaviors in both personal and professional life—misdirected anger and misdirected caring. They may seem like opposites, but they stem from the same root cause: unresolved patterns that cause…
Accountability vs. Empty Cheerleading
Why Words Without Action Fall Flat Summary: Social media is flooded with motivational quotes, teammates cheer each other on, and friends offer endless support. But when it comes to real progress, there’s a stark difference between being a cheerleader and having a sense of accountability. Dear Dr. Sylvia, My CEO recently hired a new Chief…
Celebrate with Me: Two Leadership Awards in One Week
Summary: Dr. Sylvia Lafair stands out in the field of leadership development due to her innovative approach. She intertwines psychology and systems thinking with organizational behavior. This brings a unique perspective that has transformed how leaders and teams operate. Dear Dr Sylvia, I am one of your most ardent fans. Through our work together, you…
Legacy Leadership : What Business Leaders Can Teach Their Grandchildren
Summary: As a leader, you’ve spent a lifetime navigating challenges, making tough decisions, and shaping organizations. But beyond business success, your true legacy lies in the lessons you leave behind. While profits and accolades may fade, the wisdom you pass down to your grandchildren will endure for generations. Dear Dr. Sylvia (aka Grandmom), I have…
How Patterns of Behavior Differ from Habits: What You Need to Know
Summary: Understanding the distinction between behavior patterns and habits is essential when examining personal growth and professional success. Although we often use these terms interchangeably, they represent two distinct concepts that impact how we navigate relationships, make decisions, and respond to challenges. Let’s delve into how patterns of behavior and habits differ and why recognizing…
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