How to become an elegant truth teller instead of a people pleaser
Summary: Do you worry that too many of your employees are people pleasers? They do whatever you say and never speak up or challenge you? Here are some ideas for you.
When you or others fear speaking up it causes stagnation. That’s when creativity is nowhere to be found.
For instance, you want your team to all row together and be collaborative.
Yet, if you have a bunch of lemmings who blindly follow the crowd to jump off cliffs,, you lose. You won’t be able to stay competitive in this fast-paced world.
Pleasers want to fit in and this desire leads them to become intensely self-conscious.
For example, one pleaser I know was super proud of a butterfly tattoo on her ankle. Then she was part of the “in” crowd. Her work team was ” butterfly tattoo addicted” because of their logo).
However, she said it was painful and would never do it again. That is, until there was a new trend with a different style of a butterfly. Everyone was putting this on the back of their necks.
As a result, she had to decide if she would join the crowd?
Yes, she did.
Further, I bet you guessed that.
Being “part of the crowd” and saying “yes” to just about everything is the people pleaser way.
Transforming this pattern is what the world needs now.
Pleasers become truth tellers. They care about what other people think, yet not at the expense of their own integrity.
For example, truth-tellers talk in simple sentences, without lecturing or grandstanding. They don’t change their minds just to pacify someone. Although they are willing to adjust their opinions when the facts warrant it.
Take a few minutes to watch this short video. Here I give tips that will help you quickly identify those people pleasers and help them make the shift.
Truth tellers are not a populous species, yet they pack quite a punch.
For instance, Oprah Winfrey received the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award at the Golden Globes.
Here is her speech, a model of truth-telling in its most elegant form.
Also, check out my INC.com column. It’s about the dilemma of social media and the addiction of teens who are the consummate people pleasers. This is part of the biggest trend in the world of our growing youngsters.
We really need to band together to change what can be a bigger and more destructive epidemic than opioids.
As always, your comments and questions are welcome here!
Let me know if you agree on why it’s important to be a truth teller rather than a people pleaser.