Summary: You know that feeling, your chest tightens, your jaw clenches, and suddenly your to-do list feels like a personal attack. That’s stress! We all relate to stress. Instead of taking the meds, here is another way to pivot the stress factor and feel better faster.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I read your book “Invisible Stress (It’s NOT What You Think)” and had lots of “ahas.”
However, I still need more ideas for when the stress monster from childhood starts growling late at night, or even when I am in the car on my way home from work.
I want more ideas please.
Stress is so constant in our lives these days, I will take any new ways to battle the noisy little (or big) monsters so, thank for helping.
Signed,
Hopeful
Invisible Stress Can Become Visible
Dear Hopeful,
Great that you are still keeping a positive outlook.
It seems like the weather is either too hot or too wet or too… whatever,
And people are either too angry or too shut down or too… whatever.
Stress is Our Constant Companion.
And while most people try to outrun it, numb it, or snap at someone nearby (guilty), there’s another way.
It’s not bubble baths and breathing apps (though those help). It’s not venting to your coworkers. They’re just as stressed, by the way.
Stress thrives in uncertainty. Here I want to give you a way to conquer it.
What if the key to managing stress lies in asking better questions? Stress often feels like a mountain too steep to climb.
But what if you could face it, not with the mindset of a victim, but with that of a transformed victim, an explorer?
Curiosity Is The New Super Power
Yes, curiosity. The very thing that got you into trouble when you were five is now your stress-busting superpower.
As I like to say:
“Stress shrinks possibility. Curiosity stretches it.”
—–Dr. Sylvia Lafair
Stress Makes You Small
Stress locks you into tunnel vision. You start catastrophizing, assuming the worst, or reliving old scripts from childhood. Remember when you got blamed for everything because you were the rescuer? Yeah… that’s still showing up at work.
When you’re stressed, your brain isn’t asking questions, it’s making judgments. Fast ones. Often wrong ones. It goes into protection mode, and protection is the opposite of creativity.
When you stay curious, try new strategies, learn widely, and question assumptions, you reclaim your power. It’s not about ignoring stress; it’s about transforming it into a learning experience.
Curiosity Makes You Brave
Curiosity asks:
- “What else might be true?”
- “Why is this triggering me so much?”
- “What pattern is repeating here?”
- “If I weren’t scared, what would I try?”
Curiosity transforms stress through powerful, open-ended questions like “What else might be true?” or “What pattern is repeating?
It opens the door to new insights. For example, it invites you to examine, not explode. Then curiosity gives you agency instead of anxiety.
The Science Agrees
Neuroscience shows that curiosity transforms stress by activating the brain’s reward center and deactivating the fear response. In other words, curiosity doesn’t just feel better, it works better.
Even the Navy SEALs train for this. Not to be calm all the time, but to pivot quickly from stress to strategic curiosity.
Complete the Pattern or Repeat It
When stress keeps showing up, it’s waving a big red flag: there’s a pattern here that wants attention.
Curiosity is how you decode that pattern. It lets you complete what’s unfinished so you’re not doomed to repeat it, at work, at home, or when someone cuts you off in traffic.
The Glimmer That Changes Everything
Next time you feel yourself spiraling into stress, try this:
- Pause – Just 10 seconds to interrupt the pattern.
- Get Curious – Ask: “What’s really going on?”
- Choose Differently – Even a 5% shift can change the outcome.
This is the kind of curiosity that transforms stress into a glimmer, a small moment of insight that can lead to a game-changing decision.
Stress is loud and demanding. Curiosity is quiet, but powerful. When you choose it, you’re choosing to lead yourself first.
So the next time life squeezes you, remember:
“Stress shrinks possibility. Curiosity stretches it.”
Let your curiosity pry the door open, and walk yourself into freedom.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. Take the Stress Mastery quiz to find your specific attraction to stress. Then reread this blog and let your curiosity take over. Also, do the 7-Day Stress Reduction Quiz. I promise, you will feel better and better.
