Summary: Understanding the distinction between behavior patterns and habits is essential when examining personal growth and professional success. Although we often use these terms interchangeably, they represent two distinct concepts that impact how we navigate relationships, make decisions, and respond to challenges. Let’s delve into how patterns of behavior and habits differ and why recognizing this difference matters.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
My team was arguing about the difference between patterns of behavior and habits.
Most said they are the same thing.
They were talking about the book by James Clear, “Atomic Habits.”
I know you think it is a super good book and I agree.
However, your book “Don’t Bring It To Work” talks about behavior patterns that are more than habits. I would appreciate you sharing the distinction so we can use both books for our work success.
Signed,
Dives for Pearls
Dear Dives for Pearls,
Yes, I agree that “Atomic Habits” is a great book. It gives a clear understanding about how habits drive much of our daily behavior.
It differs from the behavior patterns I discuss in all my books. Here is what you and your team can discuss at work.
What Are Habits? The Surface-Level Actions
Habits are the automatic, repetitive actions we engage in daily. Think of brushing your teeth, grabbing your morning coffee, or checking your phone when it buzzes. These behaviors often originate from repeated actions that become ingrained over time.
- Characteristics of Habits:
- Routine-based: Habits are often tied to specific triggers, like waking up or feeling hungry.
- Unconscious: They operate below the surface, requiring little thought once established.
- Easily changed with consistent effort: We can often introduce a new habit or break an old one, and achieve this in a few months.
For example, developing a habit of writing down your goals every morning can enhance productivity. While valuable, habits primarily focus on the what—the actions you take—not the why behind them.
Patterns of Behavior: The Deeper Roots
Patterns of behavior, as I discuss in my books like Don’t Bring It to Work and Invisible Stress: It’s NOT What YOU Think, run much deeper. They are the ingrained responses we carry from childhood, shaped by family dynamics, early experiences, and emotional imprints.
- Characteristics of Patterns:
- Emotionally charged: Patterns often stem from unresolved emotions and past experiences.
- Relationally focused: They influence how we interact with others, especially under stress.
- Subconscious and systemic: Patterns are less about individual actions and more about recurring themes, like a tendency to avoid conflict or seek approval.
For instance, if you grew up in an environment where mistakes were harshly criticized, you might develop a pattern of perfectionism, fearingfailure. Unlike habits, which are situational, patterns are relational and often dictate how and why we respond to certain situations or people.
Key Differences Between Patterns and Habits
| Aspect | Habits | Patterns of Behavior |
|---|---|---|
| Origin | Repetition and practice | Childhood experiences and emotional imprints |
| Awareness | Often conscious, easy to observe | Subconscious, requires introspection to uncover |
| Scope | Limited to specific actions | Influences relationships and decision-making |
| Changeability | Easier to modify with consistent effort | Requires deeper emotional work and awareness |
| Impact | Affects daily routines | Shapes life direction and relational dynamics |
Why Understanding Patterns Matters in the Workplace
In professional settings, unresolved patterns can lead to recurring conflicts, miscommunication, and stress. For example, the rescuer pattern might compel someone to take on more responsibilities than they can handle, leading to burnout. The good news is thagt the rescuer pattern can be transformed into the mentor.
Another pattern is the avoider, who makes it difficult to address critical issues and stalls progress. The avoider does not want to confront anything that causes conflict. Again, there is good news. The avoider can be transformed into an initiator who starts difficult conversations and does not run from them.
Recognizing and transforming these patterns is a cornerstone of my work. In my “Total Leadership Connections” on-line program, we help individuals identify their default patterns and develop strategies to break free from them.
Unlike habits, which can be reshaped by building new routines, patterns require a willingness to explore their origins and address the underlying emotional drivers.
How to Break Free from Negative Patterns
Here is an overview of the way OUT of ingrained patterns to help you succeed:
- OBSERVE and Identify the Pattern: Reflect on recurring challenges in your relationships or work. Ask yourself, “What keeps happening, and why?”
- Example: If you often feel unappreciated, you might have a martyr pattern stemming from a need for external validation.
- UNDERSTAND by Exploring the Origin: Dive into the why. Consider how your upbringing or early experiences may have shaped this pattern.
- Example: A pattern of people-pleasing might originate from growing up in a household where your worth was tied to making others happy.
- TRANSFORM when you Challenge the Pattern: Once identified, question its validity. Is it serving you? If not, consider how you can respond differently.
- Example: Instead of overcommitting to every request, which is the sign of a martyr, you can practice setting boundaries.
Why Patterns Are Harder to Change Than Habits
Breaking a habit might involve downloading a habit-tracking app or setting reminders. Transforming patterns, however, requires a deeper emotional commitment. It’s not just about behavior modification but also about emotional healing.
Patterns are rooted in survival mechanisms. They’re how we learned to navigate the complexities of family dynamics and early relationships. While they may have served us well as children, they often become limiting as adults. This is why professional growth often mirrors personal growth—the two are inextricably linked.
Replace with Intentional Behavior: Patterns don’t disappear overnight, but with conscious effort, they can be transformed into healthier behaviors.
- Example: Shift from being a rescuer to an empowered leader by empowering others instead of taking over.
The Path to Transformation
Understanding the difference between habits and patterns of behavior is the first step toward meaningful change. While habits can enhance productivity and efficiency, addressing patterns can lead to breakthroughs in how we connect, lead, and thrive.
Through programs like STRESS Mastery and inghts from my books, I’ve seen countless individuals and teams transform by tackling their patterns head-on. It’s not easy, but the rewards—greater self-awareness, healthier relationships, and professional success—are well worth the effort.
Take the First Step
Are you ready to uncover the patterns holding you back? Begin by observing recurring themes in your relationships and behaviors. From there, embrace the journey of transformation, knowing that every step you take brings you closer to the leader and person you’re meant to be.
For more insights on patterns, stress management, and leadership transformation, visit www.ceoptions.com.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. Want a complimentary coaching session? You can ask your questions and decide if this type of coaching is right for you. Go to https://ceoptions.com/contact/ and we will get back to you quickly.
