You’ve tried everything: new systems, better meetings, even hiring new talent. And yet, here you are again: overwhelmed, constantly putting out fires, and asking yourself, Why does this keep happening?
Welcome to the invisible force running your business: repeating behavioral patterns. They’re more than just frustrating—they’re costly. And until you learn to recognize and shift these behavioral patterns, your business will stay stuck in the same cycle.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
Tariffs have me playing a game of hide-and-seek. Yup, gotcha! I see what to do. Then, nope, where are you?
I’m exhausted and ready to close shop.
However, I love what I do, appreciate my employees, and enjoy creating new products.
I bet you would ask about some major memory from childhood. So here it is. I grew up with parents who were always running after the next shiny object. We moved seven times before I finished high school. They got bored and so we moved over and over again.
The tariffs remind me of the anxious feelings I had as a child. No stability.
Therefore, while I am used to change, it is becoming too much!
Sadly, I am starting to burn out. There is too much hiding and not enough seeking.
Please give me some ideas on how to handle these difficult times.
Signed,
Ready Yet Exhausted
How Repeating Patterns Take Root at Work
Dear Ready Yet Exhausted,
Here’s the truth: What’s repeating is running your business. Until you break the cycle, no strategy, tech stack, or team shake-up will create sustainable change.
You didn’t bring chaos to work—it followed you from childhood.
Sounds dramatic? Maybe. But it’s neuroscience and psychology 101: your original organization was your family. If your family taught you to avoid conflict, over-perform, or stay silent to keep the peace—you’ve likely recreated those dynamics at work.
You can read more in “Don’t Bring It to Work.”
Some of the most common stuck patterns at work include:
- The Avoider: Delays hard conversations, hoping issues vanish (they don’t).
- The Pleaser: Goes along with everything while steaming inside.
- The Denier: Pretends everything is great when it isn’t.
- The Super Achiever: Has to fix everything and, of course, take credit.
When these roles repeat in a loop, they create burnout, turnover, and toxic team dynamics.
All good advice, until your behavioral patterns sabotage the execution. If your pattern is “please everyone,” no KPI sheet will help you confront underperformance. If you’re stuck in the “fixer” role, delegation will feel like failure.
Emotional Intelligence for Leaders
That’s why change has to go deeper.
- What situations at work make you most reactive?
- Are you dealing with different people but the same dynamics?
- What family roles or early lessons might still be driving your leadership style?
Most leaders are shocked when they realize they’ve repeated the same emotional pattern with different employees for years.
But here’s the good news: what you can name, you can change.
The Pattern Break Method helps you shift from reactive to responsive
- Observe the recurring dynamic (don’t judge it—just name it).
- Understand the behavioral pattern using tools like the Reset Space and Trigger Tracker.
- Transform the behavior using conscious communication and boundary setting.
Example: A leader in the Pleaser role learned to respectfully challenge her team’s groupthink. The result? Higher engagement and fewer missed deadlines.
Another CEO, addicted to being the Hero, the Super Achiever, learned to let go and empower his team. He gained back 10 hours a week and finally took that long-overdue vacation.
- High employee turnover
- Team drama and wasted time
- Missed opportunities
- Constant reactivity instead of strategic growth
When you transform these behavioral patterns, you:
- Reduce stress across the organization
- Build healthier, more resilient teams
- Save time, money, and sanity
You stop managing chaos and start leading with clarity.
Behavioral Pattern transformation is not therapy. It’s leadership evolution
Let’s ditch the firefighting and lead like the future depends on it, because it does.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. Contact us to set up a strategy session. Learn how to stay strong and avoid burnout.
