Search results for: JUBLA
How JUBLA (Judgment, Blame, or Attack) Will Make You Angrier and Keep You Feeling Like a Victim, And What to Do About It
Summary: When things don’t go as planned, it’s all too easy to slip into patterns of judgment, blame, or attack (JUBLA). These behaviors, however, are toxic. Not only do they escalate conflict, but they also keep you locked in a cycle of anger, frustration, and victimhood. Learn to move from victim to explorer using pattern…
Read MoreBite Your Lip Communication: A Leader’s Secret Weapon for Long-Term Influence
Summary: Often, less is more when it comes to being a successful leader. Here is why it may be best to hold your tongue, bite your lip, and wait for a better time to respond. Leadership communication is both an art and a skill if done correctly. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I have often heard you…
Read MoreHealing Long-Standing Conflicts: The Leader’s Role in Restoring Harmony
Summary: Conflict is inevitable, but long-standing conflicts—in families, workplaces, or communities—can become deeply ingrained and corrosive. Leaders play a crucial role in breaking the cycle. They guide individuals and teams toward resolution, and fostering a culture of understanding. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I have two employees who are a mini-representation of the Middle East, Ukraine-Russia and…
Read MoreThe Power of Clarifying Questions
Transforming Conflict Into Win-Win Solutions Summary: In the heat of a conflict, our natural response is often to judge, blame, or attack (what I call JUBLA), and then we move to the next level, to defend, explain, or justify (DEJ) our position. These are traditional methods in most cultures. Resolving conflict was to punch, jab,…
Read MoreValentine’s Day Reflection: Hearing the Words Within your “Heart”
Dear All, Have a sweet and caring Valentine’s Day with your loved ones. Along with flowers and chocolates, here are some thoughts to consider. Valentine’s Day is a time for love, connection, and deep listening—not just with our ears but with our hearts. Ultimately, it’s a day when words carry more meaning. Think about when…
Read MoreFacing Irrevocable Change and Navigating Tough Times
Summary: Change, of course, is an inevitable part of life, but some changes hit us harder than others. These are the seismic shifts—the ones that feel irrevocable, reshaping the foundation of our world. Whether it’s losing a loved one, a significant career upheaval, or moments being caught in the extremes of climate change, that’s when…
Read More3 Ways To Stop Destructive Patterns From Ruining Your Career
Avoid falling into the same rabbit holes of doubt Dear Dr. Sylvia, Why, oh why is it so hard to change destructive patterns? From my time in the Total Leadership Connections program, I know that I can fall into the same rabbit hole again and again. For me, It’s the Persecutor/Bully Role. When I am…
Read MoreLeadership Development and Whose Fault Is It Anyway? Are YOU a YABBUT or NOT?
Summary: There are many books about how to survive a toxic workplace. The big question is: Who makes the work setting toxic? Most of the books point the finger of blame at the boss or supervisor. Many books and sites about office politics are about what he, she, or they did that was insulting and…
Read MoreA Collaborative Journey to Success: How Direct Reports Can Talk Truth to Power and Help Their Boss Be More Effective
Summary: In the workplace, a hierarchical dynamic often characterizes the relationship between direct reports and their leaders. These power differences can create challenges regarding open and honest communication. But speaking truth to power is essential for a transparent and collaborative work environment. This can significantly enhance a leader’s effectiveness. Direct reports hold valuable insights about…
Read MoreWhat to Look for in Executives as Role Models So Work Cultures Can Thrive
Summary: What separates an ordinary executive from one who serves as an exceptional role model? Whether you’re a business leader, an emerging professional, or part of a hiring committee, selecting a suitable executive role model is crucial for fostering a positive organizational culture. Here’s what matters. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I had an odd experience with…
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