Search results for: JUBLA
How JUBLA (Judgment, Blame, or Attack) Will Make You Angrier and Keep You Feeling Like a Victim, And What to Do About It
Summary: When things don’t go as planned, it’s all too easy to slip into patterns of judgment, blame, or attack (JUBLA). These behaviors, however, are toxic. Not only do they escalate conflict, but they also keep you locked in a cycle of anger, frustration, and victimhood. Learn to move from victim to explorer using pattern…
Read MoreThe Courage to Change: Why Staying Stuck Is the Real Risk
Summary: Most people say they want to change—until change knocks on their door wearing work boots and holding a mirror. Then suddenly, resistance becomes the name of the game. It is like that most of the time. Yet, there are better ways. Read on. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I’m reaching out with steam still coming out…
Read MoreCharisma vs. Emotional Maturity: Why Leaders Need More Than Just Sparkle to Shine
Let’s pull back the curtain and get real: Leaders who rely solely on charisma eventually hit a wall. The ones who rise (and stay risen) have something deeper, quieter, and far more powerful—emotional maturity. Dear Dr. Sylvia, Our CEO, a quiet and helpful leader, recently hired a new head of sales with minimal input from…
Read MoreBite Your Lip Communication: A Leader’s Secret Weapon for Long-Term Influence
Summary: Often, less is more when it comes to being a successful leader. Here is why it may be best to hold your tongue, bite your lip, and wait for a better time to respond. Leadership communication is both an art and a skill if done correctly. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I have often heard you…
Read MoreHealing Long-Standing Conflicts: The Leader’s Role in Restoring Harmony
Summary: Conflict is inevitable, but long-standing conflicts—in families, workplaces, or communities—can become deeply ingrained and corrosive. Leaders play a crucial role in breaking the cycle. They guide individuals and teams toward resolution, and fostering a culture of understanding. Dear Dr. Sylvia, I have two employees who are a mini-representation of the Middle East, Ukraine-Russia and…
Read MoreThe Power of Clarifying Questions
Transforming Conflict Into Win-Win Solutions Summary: In the heat of a conflict, our natural response is often to judge, blame, or attack (what I call JUBLA), and then we move to the next level, to defend, explain, or justify (DEJ) our position. These are traditional methods in most cultures. Resolving conflict was to punch, jab,…
Read MoreValentine’s Day Reflection: Hearing the Words Within your “Heart”
Dear All, Have a sweet and caring Valentine’s Day with your loved ones. Along with flowers and chocolates, here are some thoughts to consider. Valentine’s Day is a time for love, connection, and deep listening—not just with our ears but with our hearts. Ultimately, it’s a day when words carry more meaning. Think about when…
Read MoreFacing Irrevocable Change and Navigating Tough Times
Summary: Change, of course, is an inevitable part of life, but some changes hit us harder than others. These are the seismic shifts—the ones that feel irrevocable, reshaping the foundation of our world. Whether it’s losing a loved one, a significant career upheaval, or moments being caught in the extremes of climate change, that’s when…
Read More3 Ways To Stop Destructive Patterns From Ruining Your Career
Avoid falling into the same rabbit holes of doubt Dear Dr. Sylvia, Why, oh why is it so hard to change destructive patterns? From my time in the Total Leadership Connections program, I know that I can fall into the same rabbit hole again and again. For me, It’s the Persecutor/Bully Role. When I am…
Read MoreLeadership Development and Whose Fault Is It Anyway? Are YOU a YABBUT or NOT?
Summary: There are many books about how to survive a toxic workplace. The big question is: Who makes the work setting toxic? Most of the books point the finger of blame at the boss or supervisor. Many books and sites about office politics are about what he, she, or they did that was insulting and…
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