Are You Ready to Stop Self-Sabotaging?

I have received a rash of emails from women executives who are being plagued with self-doubt and a non-stop inner critic telling them “You fool, stop pretending. Business is never going to change.” 

Does doubt keep you awake at night? Does that self-sabotaging voice get louder as the night becomes quieter? Do you know deep inside that you are destined for a more fulfilling work-life that just won’t ever happen? 

Too many women are giving up and leaving great opportunities at work because they are self-sabotaging. There are such frustration and disappointment, and the results are to replay the old way: be passive and placating. 

Here are the big questions: “How can that damn voice be tamed? What do I need to do to be fearless? What is the cost of being authentic?  

Here is my response to all the ambitious, determined, creative women who are just getting tired waiting for the world to catch up with them and who are running out of patience, running on empty and still stuck in a cycle of self-sabotaging. 

First, never give up!!!! 

OK, I’ve been told: “That sounds good. Superficial and meaningless. If that’s all you can offer, you may as well stop right here. 

Wait a second. There really is more.  


What has been lost, trampled on, ignored, or avoided in your HERstory? 

Here is the exercise that has helped thousands of women begin the journey to be fearless, authentic, stand out, be clear and ready to take on the world. 

From my book GUTSY: How Women Leaders Make Change (pages 9-13) 

My client Kathy is typical of many modern women. She is well educated and knows how to be politically correct in today’s highly competitive business world. She can be direct and clear, commanding attention most of the time. She can lead a team to success and gain the respect of her direct reports.  

Yet, there is a heavy steel door that appears almost impossible to open. It is about pushing past a mind-set that is generations old. One that still labels and demands females to be nice, appropriate, and domesticated so they do not get a reputation as a bitch! 

Here is what Kathy did to see how deeply her mindset had been set when she was still a little girl. 

I had her buy 3 children’s books, books that are for and about little girls. 

Now it’s your turn. Browse Google to find 3 books that will help you figure out where you personally got stuck. Here are some hints: Did you read these as a kid? Cinderella, Snow White, Nancy Drew, Eloise, Fancy Nancy, Olivia. Find 3 and like an anthropologist read them to see how they helped you become socialized.  

Yes, what you read did impact you. Yes, it did.  

Then answer the following questions: 

  • Little girls should always ____________________ 
  • Good little girls would never _________________
  • You should never associate with girls who ________ 
  • Girls who are popular because they _____________ 
  • The perfect life includes _____________________

Want to do a real deep dive into the role culture plays in your present mindset? Contact me and one of our coaches will lead you through what needs to be changed so you don’t get trapped with outdated ideas.  

AND men…..give the gift that will give back to you in positive ways. Buy your favorite ladies a copy of GUTSY.

Sylvia Lafair

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