Summary: Did you declutter your home during the past few months? Your home and your mind! Is that all you need to declutter? Here’s what one of my clients said that had me laughing and cheering him on.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I have always been a leader, and I am known as “the boss who is not bossy.”
Indeed, that’s good.
Above all, I am an inclusive leader. The best way forward is to include others in decision-making.
Good decision making is at the core of great leadership.
However, here is the dilemma I have encountered being at home with my wife and two teens. For me, it has been anything but pleasurable.
For example, their grumpy manner finally got to me. Therefore, I created a family project. I was/am in charge.
Subsequently, my wife took a back seat. She smiled that damn Cheshire cat smile, you know from Alice in Wonderland. Further, she watched as I maneuvered this project like I was at work. You know, at work where people listen to me.
Decision making when including teens can be ugly!
The project was to declutter the house.
For example, I know that wonderful Japanese author Marie Kondo wrote “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and talks about the virtue of a decluttered home.
Unfortunately, she doesn’t talk about how to harness the power of a girl who is 14 with a specific point of view. And I mean, for anything! In addition, there is her older brother, a boy who is 17 who hates being on the same team as his sister.
That is to say; they annoy each other to their limits.
Decision making crumbles when there is back-biting and no collaboration.
Subsequently, I apologized to my wife. You see, she puts up with more of their GOTCHA Games than I do.
I told her I should have been more involved sooner.
But I digress.
Moreover, what I learned as we cleaned out the cabinets, got piles together to take to Goodwill, was the following, and it’s what you have been teaching for years and years.
Decision-making means you must spend time to declutter your mind.
Above all, mind clutter is as essential to get rid of as house clutter.
Therefore, I now see that all the work I have done with Creative Energy Options about behavior patterns and pattern repetition is really to declutter your mind.
Most importantly, I had a fantastic talk with my kids about this as we cleaned the closets and made the space in the house feel calm and expansive.
Further, we talked about why they are such jerks to each other. Then we discussed how that patterns of GOTCHA could become so ingrained they would take them to work.
What you learn as a kid about decision-making shows up at work.
That is to say; I showed them how what they were learning at home would follow them to their adult work setting. As a result, it could mean lost opportunities for promotion or creative collaboration.
Honestly, to my surprise, they listened.
In addition, they asked questions; they wanted to learn.
In conclusion, please send a copy of your e-book GOTCHA to me (signed would matter) so I can go over it with my teens.
And just FYI, my wife was able to take a deep breath and leave us to our education. She can get some of her work for her high–powered leadership job completed without begging for peace.
Declutter and then decide what is next
My new theory is to do both:
Declutter your home and get it organized
Declutter your mind and get it organized.
Thanks in advance for the book. Also, thanks for all the great info about these dang patterns that we need to purge and transform.
The NOT Bossy Boss
PS. I also just purchased a copy of your new book “Invisible STRESS (It’s NOT What YOU Think!). It’s for the whole family to keep us, as you say, practicing safe stress.