A Tsunami of Thoughts

Dear Dr. Sylvia,

How does it happen? I already know your answer. I’m still going to ask. How does it happen?

I live in Denver Colorado. 

Did you know we are having binge weather? It’s like too much one day and then not enough the next.

It’s making me crazy to go from a rocky mountain high of 88 degrees and the next day to a high of 37 degrees and snow.

It’s not normal. 

Nothing is normal.

I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I expect you will say something about climate change and that we all must do our part.

It’s not enough for me right now.

And I know you live in the Bay Area and I wonder how the smoke, fires, and heat are for you?

In any case, my real question is “What do I do with all the conflicting emotions I am having about work, the kids, my wife, my clients, the election, the virus… all of it.” 

I really need a dose of healthy advice.

Please help,

Bothered and Bewildered

Dear Bothered and Bewildered,

You are not alone. It sounds like so many of us, not sure which way to turn. 

Remember when you read Don’t Bring It To Work and you began to get some clarity about how patterns repeat and repeat unless you tackle them by making the choice for change? 

I know that right now the self-doubt in your head is like a tsunami of negative thoughts saying over and over you really don’t know what you’re doing.

I know that all the worries about climate, health, wealth, security, violence, schooling, all of it is too much to think about.

However, as leaders and parents we can’t just pull the covers over our heads. We must be examples of the next steps, even if we don’t want to do anything at all.

Choose to be a positive leader. 

Leadership means taking all those conflicting emotions and making some specific and real choices, right here and right now.

Since you are in Colorado, I want to talk about weeds. No, not weed, about weeds.

                                        My advice is “Don’t Feed the Weed.” 

Stay with me and smile a bit. 

Think about a garden. When you pull weeds from a garden and they are still small, they are super easy to get out of the ground. 

Feed the weeds and they will grow deep roots. 

Then you must tug and tug and tug to get them out.

Today, just do ONE THING, that’s it, ONE THING to get the weeds out of your garden.

I’m talking about the garden of your mind and emotions.

If you give in to the emotions of fear and hopelessness you will stay stuck. 

                                 Ya gotta move! Do something.

And just for you, for all of us, I’m starting a SANITY CHALLENGE. 

It’s a 10-day challenge to do something each day to stay sane.

I know you can’t wish the fires away, the crazy roller coaster weather, the tension about race relations, the arguments about masks or no masks.

Yet, you can do something. Actually a few somethings.

I have found that if you chunk down the overwhelm you can handle it.

Here is one idea for starters and then sign up for the Sanity Challenge.

We all need to help each other stay strong. Here is one suggestion:

                                             Shrug It Off

Bring your shoulders to your ears and then let them drop. Do this rapidly. Do at least 10 times in a row.

Inhale while you raise your shoulders and exhale when you lower them. And say to yourself “This too shall pass.”

Then go give your family hugs, for no reason, just because.

I think you will find the Sanity Challenge helpful and calming. And remember that the only way to let go of the old patterns from repeating is to, like the weeds, stop watering them.

See you at the challenge.

To your success,


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Sylvia Lafair