Does anger win, or do you?
Do you ever stop long enough to think about anger?
When you feel that red hot flame of upset that start in your gut? Then it soon finds its way to your mouth.
Will you react with shouts ? Or swallow you rage and walk away as fast as possible?
Here’s what anger does to you
Above all, ask yourself: Did you respond in a way that made you calm and happy?
In other words, whether you shout it out or stuff it down, you want results.
Whichever way you express your annoyance; it does not guarantee it will go away.
In fact, it can make it worse.
Besides, anger leads to anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, headaches, even obesity.
In addition, it can ruin relationships.
What makes you so angry?
That’s the question you must ask.
For instance, some of you need to be angry less, and others angry more.
Does that surprise you?
In other words, anger is not the enemy. Understand and monitor it for your health and well-being.
Above all, how do you find that place between being too aggressive or too avoidant?
When does anger show up?
Most often, it is about survival and security.
It’s about feeling safe.
Also, how do you react when you are threatened?
Sometimes do you fight? Other times do you take flight? And then when confronted, do you even freeze in place?
Anger enters when the specific way you respond to situations no longer works. It comes full force when you do not yet have the tools to find a better way.
For instance, does anger show up at work when your abilities to complete a project are questioned? Or when a co-worker complains you are difficult to work with?
Do you blame him, her, them?
Often, without thinking it through, you defend, explain, or justify your position.
Subsequently, you focus your upset on others and make them the culprits.
After that, you play the blame game with gusto.
To clarify, it’s easier to make someone else wrong rather than look within.
Sadly, this is the way most of the world turns.
Female and male ways to handle anger
Much of the research indicates that men can get angry faster and get over their anger more quickly. They point the finger at others and become very combative. After that, they move onto the next project. Not a lot of rehashing the past.
On the other hand, women will often stuff their anger. They hang on to it even if there is a discussion and potential resolution. This happens over days or weeks or longer. Even years later, women can still hold grudges.
Yet, there is definitely a better way to deal with anger
If this resonates with you, it’s time for a new perspective.
Most importantly, there is a radical, positive change once you find the best ways to be accountable for your actions.
It means looking at the habits and patterns that have become your ‘anger anchors’.
However, while it is absolutely stress-inducing to look at yourself honestly, warts and all, it can be done.
That goes for everyone.
Once you know what to change, it simply takes practice.
After that, your top-level leadership abilities become obvious. You now gain high respected and appreciation.
Isn’t that what you want?
New Ways of Responding
In conclusion, transforming anger is a life skill that is much like a life insurance policy. You will be healthier, happier, and relationships at home and work will flourish.
Here is your homework
What is your sense of anger at work? How do you handle it? Send me a story about a time you took a sticky situation and transformed it into a positive one. The best answers get a copy of my book, “Leadership Quotes: Bumper Stickers for The Brain.”
Here’s to your success,