Before They Take You for a Ride with Your Work and Your Money
Summary: Have you ever met someone who seemed too good to be true, only to later realize they had manipulated, deceived, or even financially exploited you? If so, you encountered a “toxic friend.” In the workplace, these manipulative folks can be incredibly charming, intelligent, and persuasive—until their true nature emerges, often leaving a trail of chaos, lost money, and shattered trust. Pay attention.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I have finished watching the Netflix series “Apple Cider Vinegar” and I feel angry and discouraged.
I hired a marketing “king” who promised me the world. It cost a bundle of money. Yes, it did get me to the top of Google.
However, I truly got a big bucket full of nothing!
For example, I always saw myself as smart, with a great ability to read people’s characters and make good choices.
Instead, I spent so much money hoping he would produce the promised results. It did not happen.
I am questioning myself and my capacity to judge people and situations.
Suggestions?
Signed,
Ignorant
Dear (Not) Ignorant,
Being “seduced” by a manipulator happens to many of us at one time or another.
I was led astray years ago by promises from a marketing maven named Eric who cost me more money than I care to count.
Here is what I learned, and I hope this is of help to you and everyone else who falls prey to a charming predator.
Firstly, identifying these individuals before they cause harm is essential for protecting yourself, your career, and your financial well-being.
Here’s how to spot them before they take you for a ride.
What Is a Sociopath?
Sociopaths fall under the category of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). They lack empathy, have no regard for right or wrong, and often manipulate others for personal gain. Sociopaths are impulsive, unpredictable, and prone to emotional outbursts.
In a professional setting, sociopaths can be con artists, manipulative bosses, deceitful business partners, or even employees who lie and cheat their way to success at the expense of others.
Some examples are Bernie Madoff, “The Tinder Swindler,” Simon Lievev, and “Inventing Anna.” entrepreneur Anna Sorokin.
Signs You’re Dealing with a Sociopath in Business
1. They Are Charmers—Until They’re Not
At first, sociopaths seem confident, charismatic, and engaging. They know exactly what to say to make you feel comfortable and excited to work with them.
However, once they gain your trust, their behavior shifts. They become demanding, dishonest, or even aggressive when things don’t go their way.
Red Flag: They flatter you excessively and tell you exactly what you want to hear, but their energy changes once they think they have you hooked.
2. They Lie with Ease
Sociopaths are compulsive liars. They fabricate stories about their experience, exaggerate their skills, and even create entirely false identities to make themselves seem more successful or trustworthy.
Red Flag: If you catch them in a lie, they either gaslight you (“You must have misunderstood”) or make excuses (“I had to lie to protect someone”).
3. They Love Playing the Victim
If you question their actions, sociopaths will often flip the script and portray themselves as the victim. They might tell you how everyone has betrayed them in the past or how they’ve been unfairly treated by previous employers, investors, or partners.
Red Flag: They have a sob story for every mistake they’ve made, and nothing is ever their fault.
4. They Disregard Rules and Boundaries
Sociopaths don’t believe rules apply to them. They cut corners, bend the truth, and manipulate systems to get what they want. They may promise to follow ethical business practices but will engage in shady deals the moment it benefits them.
Red Flag: They encourage you to “bend the rules” or make decisions that feel morally or legally questionable.
5. They Gaslight and Manipulate
Sociopaths use manipulation tactics to control others. If you bring up a concern, they make you feel like you’re overreacting or imagining things. They twist facts, distort reality, and make you question your judgment.
Red Flag: You constantly feel confused, second-guess yourself, or wonder if you’re being too sensitive.
6. They Make Big Promises with No Follow-Through
Sociopaths love to promise the world. They’ll claim they can make you rich, get you promoted, or help you land your dream deal—but they rarely follow through. Their goal is to get what they want from you (money, work, connections) before disappearing.
Red Flag: They talk big but deliver little. Deadlines are missed, deals fall through, and excuses pile up.
7. They Have a History of Broken Relationships
Sociopaths leave a trail of broken partnerships, failed businesses, and burned bridges. They move from one company to the next, one business deal to another, always finding a new victim to exploit.
Red Flag: If you dig into their past, you’ll find numerous complaints from former colleagues, employees, or partners.
8. They Show No Empathy or Guilt
Sociopaths don’t feel guilt or remorse for the harm they cause. They can fire employees without a second thought, exploit investors without regret, and lie to clients without blinking.
Red Flag: When confronted about unethical behavior, they remain indifferent or even blame the victim.
How to Protect Yourself from a Sociopath in Business
✔ Do Your Homework: Always verify a person’s background, credentials, and past work before entering into any business agreement.
✔ Set Clear Boundaries: Sociopaths push limits. Make sure contracts are airtight, agreements are documented, and expectations are set from the start.
✔ Trust Your Gut: If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Intuition is a powerful tool for spotting manipulative behavior before it escalates.
✔ Watch for Patterns: If you notice repeated excuses, lies, or manipulation tactics, take action before they cause further harm.
✔ Stay in Control of Your Finances: Never invest money, sign contracts, or give control of financial assets to someone you don’t fully trust.
✔ Consult a Lawyer: If you suspect fraud or deceit, seek legal advice before making any major decisions.
✔ Cut Ties When Necessary: Sociopaths rarely change. If you spot the warning signs early, distance yourself before they can do damage.
Recognize the Early Warning Signs and Run the Other Way
Sociopaths thrive in environments where they can exploit trust, charm their way into positions of power, and manipulate others for their benefit. By recognizing the warning signs early, you can protect yourself, your work, and your financial future from being taken for a ride.
Stay alert, trust your instincts, and remember: a deal that seems too good to be true probably is.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. In my new book, GLIMMERS (due out in the spring), I discuss how if your head, heart, and gut give you warning signs that something is out of kilter, trust your inner knowing rather than Prince or Princess Charming.
