Summary: We’ve been here before. Not exactly here, with algorithms whispering into our ears and AI generating your next social media post. But we’ve been at this kind of edge. It’s a precipice of massive societal upheaval and a growing sense of chaos fatigue, which is a real phenomenon, especially for leaders. It’s time to release outdated patterns and become a Pattern Pioneer.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
As a senior leader in an established company, I should have all the necessary resources to ensure things flow smoothly.
However, there are so many underlying changes I can’t keep up.
The chaos fatigue I feel makes me want to stay in bed with the covers over my head. Yup, I’m exhausted.
The old, as you say, outdated patterns, especially of command and control, won’t work moving forward.
What’s a guy to do?
Signed,
Almost An Elder
Dear Almost An Elder,
I call us “the people between the parentheses.” That’s when the old world gasped its final breath, and the new one is still figuring out how to crawl.
For example, this moment echoes the Industrial Revolution. Back then, steam engines and factories turned cottage industries into coal-dusted cities. Today, data flows like oil, automation reshapes our workdays, and the very definition of leadership is mutating in real time.
As Charles Dickens wrote in A Tale of Two Cities, which opens amid the first industrial rumblings:
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”
Sound familiar?
Chaos Then, Chaos Now: What’s the Difference?
Let’s rewind to the early 1800s. Horses pulled carriages. Most people worked the land. Then—BOOM—machines stormed in.
Urbanization exploded. Craftsmanship got crushed by mass production. Workers rioted. Luddites smashed looms. The world went into shock.
Just a refresher from your history class in high school (or not!).
The Luddites were a group of English textile workers in the early 19th Century who protested against the introduction of automated machinery in the textile industry.
They destroyed looms and knitting frames, which they viewed as a threat to their livelihoods and the skills they had acquired.
Today’s chaos fatigue stems from similarly seismic shifts:
- AI and robotics are replacing traditional jobs
- Remote work redefining team dynamics
- Climate disruption is altering how and where we live
- Social fragmentation creates echo chambers instead of communities
We’re not building steam engines. We’re uploading consciousness, outsourcing decision-making, and trying to stay human in a digital world. These are the themes that have guided my work for decades.
As historian Yuval Noah Harari puts it:
“Never before has humankind had so much power, and so little idea what to do with it.”
Patterns Don’t Just Repeat — They Hijack
During times of rapid change, humans do what they’ve always done: fall back on old patterns.
In the Industrial Age, when factory life disrupted family life, many people became rigid, hierarchical, or resigned to their fate in silence. Emotional suppression became a survival tool. “Keep your head down and do your job” wasn’t just advice — it was armor.
And here we are again, falling into old habits:
- Avoidance instead of action
- Blame instead of reflection
- Over-control instead of trust
That’s where pattern transformation becomes essential. My work, rooted in decades of research and observation, demonstrates that family patterns, our original training ground, infiltrate our current organizations and hold us hostage.
For example:
- The Super Achiever, raised to seek approval through performance, now burns out in leadership.
- The Martyr, who took care of everyone as a child, now resents every meeting invite.
- The Avoider, who kept quiet at the dinner table, still won’t speak up in strategy sessions.
These ingrained behaviors may have helped us survive the past, but they sabotage our future unless we bring them into awareness and evolve them.
From Pattern Repetition to Pattern Transformation
The way forward is not more hustle, more control, or more noise. It’s about turning inward and asking:
- Where did this pattern begin?
- Does it still serve me?
- Can I choose a new way?
This is the essence of Pattern Transformation — the core of my leadership development programs and books, such as Don’t Bring It to Work and Complete It or Repeat It. You can break free from outdated behaviors.
And when you do, you lead with clarity, confidence, and creativity — the very traits this turbulent time demands.
Reflective leadership, as explored by Harvard Business School Online, shows how intentional self-awareness helps leaders evolve their behavior, unlock new potential, and respond to change with grounded presence.
What Worked Then — And Can Work Now
During the Industrial Revolution, those who adapted with curiosity, creativity, and collaboration came out ahead.
When cars began replacing horses, blacksmiths who retrained as mechanics found new relevance. Those who clung to the past faded into it.
The same choice sits before you now.
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
— Socrates
Pattern Transformation in Action
I’ve seen leaders crack the code:
- A CEO caught in the Pleaser pattern learned to set boundaries and restructured their team to reduce burnout.
- A team full of Victims shifted to ownership and accountability by tracing their family systems and rewriting their workplace roles.
- An entire department, filled with Avoiders, finally realized they were trapped in the fear of being judged as they were when they were youngsters.
The result? Reduced conflict. Faster innovation. Greater well-being.
If you’re ready to make these kinds of shifts, it starts with becoming a Pattern Aware Leader. Recognizing the hidden scripts that drive your behavior is the first step toward rewriting them, for yourself and your entire organization.
From Chaos Fatigue to Future-Focused
Yes, this era is chaotic. So was the last major revolution. But the story we write now doesn’t have to be one of burnout and fear.
It can be a story of emergence, of breaking through old patterns that no longer serve and stepping into new ways of working, leading, and living.
As I often say:
“You can’t change what you don’t name — but once you name it, you’re not stuck with it.”
So let’s name the chaos. Let’s name the old patterns. And let’s transform them into new pathways forward.
Because the revolution is here, and this time, you get to right you role, and write your role.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS: Next Steps for Curious Leaders: Take the free Leadership Pattern Quiz and uncover the hidden scripts that drive your stress. Schedule a discovery call to explore coaching or team workshops that create true transformation.
