Summary: Leaders don’t cry! They are strong and brave. In the world of leadership, displaying emotions, particularly tears, can seem like a sign of weakness. However, recent trends and studies suggest otherwise. When leaders tear up or cry about a difficult work situation, it can demonstrate strength, empathy, and authenticity. Let’s delve into understanding that glimmer of why emotional expression in leadership is a positive force in the workplace.
Dear Dr Sylvia,
I think I am coming unglued. At least for now.
I am a six foot one male in my late 40’s. Healthy, wealthy, and even sometimes wise!
However, last week when you acknowledge me in front of my team I almost lost it.
I bit my lip so hard to keep from crying I thought I would need plastic surgery.
I know you are a proponent of personal growth to be a top level leader. However, tearing up, or crying in front of others?
Nah, I’ll pass. Can you help me understand why I became so emtional? No one died! I just received some helpful acknowledment about a job well done.
Signed,
Never Emotional
Dear Never Emotional,
Firstly, think about tears as part of the “glimmer brigade.” That means, it is a part of the body showing you something about yourself that was difficult to see. Here is one way I like to think about it:
“Tears are the part inside that was frozen, beginning to defrost”
Sylvia Lafair
Before I tackle your specific situation, since I was the one who helped open your emotional gate to tears, lets look back in history,
The Reality of Leadership: Emotions Run Deep
Leaders face immense pressure. From making tough decisions to managing teams and driving organizational success, the emotional toll can be significant.
When a leader tears up or cries, it signifies the depth of their commitment and the weight of their responsibilities.
Breaking the Stigma: Tears as a Sign of Strength
Historically, the corporate world has stigmatized tears as a sign of weakness.
However, modern leadership paradigms are shifting towards valuing emotional intelligence.
Leaders who cry demonstrate emotional depth and the ability to connect on a human level. This emotional transparency fosters trust and authenticity, key components in building a cohesive and motivated team.
However, please remember, it is really also about timing.
You do not want to make employees feel guilty. Also, it is NOT their job to “save you.”
The Positive Ripple Effect of Leaders who show their emotions
- Building Trust and Authenticity: When leaders tear up, they break down barriers, allowing team members to see their genuine selves. This authenticity builds trust, as employees are likelier to follow someone they perceive as real and relatable.
- Fostering Empathy: A leader’s tears can be a powerful tool in cultivating empathy within the team. It sends a message that feeling and expressing emotions is okay, creating a more supportive and understanding work environment.
- Encouraging Open Communication: Leaders’ emotional expression can facilitate open communication. When a leader shows vulnerability, employees are more willing to share their own struggles and challenges. This leads to a more transparent and collaborative workplace culture.
Real-Life Examples: Leaders Who Cried and Conquered
Several high-profile leaders have publicly displayed their emotions, turning moments of tears into powerful leadership statements.
For instance, Tim Cook was moved to tears while addressing his team during a particularly challenging time at Apple.
His emotional display reinforced his commitment to the company and his genuine concern for its people, ultimately strengthening his leadership and the company’s morale.
Another example is Satya Nadella, Microsoft’s CEO. He has been known to tear up when discussing his and his family’s personal challenges.
Emotional transparency has transformed Microsoft’s corporate culture, making it more inclusive and empathetic.
In the past, Microsoft was known as a buttoned up company where
The Science Behind Tears: Why Crying is Beneficial
Research shows that crying has several psychological benefits. It helps release built-up stress and tension, leading to a sense of relief and emotional clarity. When leaders cry, they are essentially resetting their emotional state, which can enhance their decision-making capabilities and overall mental well-being.
As I always suggest, please remember that timing is the key to productive emotions in the workplace. In my book, “Invisible Stress: It’s NOT What YOU Think” I talk about the route to the safe stress zone which is between Freakoutville where emotions are over the top, and Zombieville where emotions are totally shut down.
The safe stress zone is where you learn to practice safe stress!
Embracing Tears: Practical Tips for Leaders
- Acknowledge Your Emotions: Leaders must recognize and accept their emotions. Denying or suppressing feelings can lead to burnout and decreased effectiveness.
- Create a Safe Space: Encourage an environment where emotional expression is accepted and valued. Achieve this through regular check-ins, open-door policies, and promoting mental health resources.
- Lead by Example: By showing your emotions, you set a precedent for your team. It signals that being human is part of the workplace, fostering a culture of compassion and support.
Tears as a Testament to True Leadership
In conclusion, when leaders tear up about a difficult work situation, it is not weakness. Rather, it is a testament to their dedication, empathy, and authenticity.
Furthermore, embracing emotions in leadership can lead to stronger, more connected teams and a healthier workplace culture. By tearing down the old stigmas surrounding tears, leaders can pave the way for a more compassionate and effective leadership style, proving that sometimes, the most powerful leaders are the ones who dare to cry.
In fact, by recognizing and celebrating the positive impact of tears in leadership, we can all work towards a more empathetic and authentic corporate world.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. A great place to start your journey of listening to those glimmers is by reading “Invisible Stress: It’s NOT What YOU Think”
