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How to Get Out of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome” That Leads to Overwhelm
September 3, 2019
on How to Get Out of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome” That Leads to Overwhelm
Have you found yourself stuck and wanting to get out of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome”? Let me share a quick story with you…
Donna was exhausted, David was frustrated, Dan was angry, and Dolores was disappointed.
No one was energized, relaxed, happy, or satisfied. Overwhelm had them ready to throw in the towel, quit their jobs, and find a place deep in the woods to put up a sign, “No Visitors!”
Each had a story of being:
Buried under a mass of deadlines
Trapped by a long to-do list
Labeled as over-demanding
Judged as obsessive
Distracted in relationships
Burnt out pleasing others
Does any of this sound like you?
In our world of Gotta- Do are you falling under the curse of too much work, not enough time, not enough resources, not enough energy, not enough ideas, not enough money, not enough talent, just plain not enough.
Do you find yourself freaking out, concerned you will disappoint people who expect so much from you? Are you afraid you will be seen as useless if you are not at the top of your game all the time? Worried that you will lose your mojo and not ever again be able to perform at your peak?
Look, all of this is true in our world that seems to move faster than the speed of light
And yet, you know you can do great things when you are energized and focused. However, when the fear at the core of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome” causes overwhelm, everything starts to fall apart.
Overwhelm leads to lowered physical health, lessened mental health, lousy relationships, and an overall depressed feeling about life, like “What am I doing all this for anyway?”
We’ve all been there and usually we blame him, her, them, the culture, the weather, the news media, ex-lovers, in-laws, our kids, the neighbor’s dog who never stops barking, the clients, the competitors, and certainly, please add to the list whatever you want,
However, these are just symptoms of the real problem. The real reason for the overwhelm is way deep down underneath the actual list of daily demands and upsets.
It has to do with your relationship to your relationships.
That’s right. It about YOU and YOUR WORLD VIEW.
It’s about finding the balance point between you and the words “YES” and “NO.”
You get to choose. Only you can decide what to decide. This is at the root of what we teach our busy, creative, successful clients. And if you don’t find the core causes for the overwhelm you will be just like that little hamster whose life is about incessant running on the same wheel day in and day out.
I have developed a whole plan to defeat overwhelm. However, just for now, let me offer one suggestion to ease the tension. I call it Breathe and Choose.
First, Breathe. Great, I heard you say, “I do that anyway.” Now, get a piece of paper. Using pen on paper (let the computer rest for a while) write down what needs to get done. Then you prioritize. Sounds easy. It’s not. At least, till you get used to making the deeper decisions about what really matters.
Let me give you an example from earlier in my life when I wished I really knew what mattered most and how to decide what to decide.
There was that day that I decided to go overtime with a client who needed me desperately (or so I thought) while my twelve-year-old daughter sat on the steps at school waiting for me as she watched all the other kids wave goodbye as they climbed into their homeward bound cars.
I figured my daughter would be fine. It was a sunny late afternoon and, hey, I had a job to do. And let me say, I figured she would understand that I was helping someone in need.
In saying “Yes” to my client I made a very big mistake. I can’t even remember my client’s name or what the issue was, all I know is I found a very unhappy little girl dangling her feet on the school steps who felt she had been put last and no amount of explaining how I was helping someone made a dent in the upset. Just a note here: this happened more than it should because I was trapped in Gotta-Do.
When I finally created The Prioritize Exercise life became much more manageable and yes, more fun. Here’s how it works. You write down what must be done in no real order, just write as fast as you can. Now go back and add all the things you want to do.
Then it’s ‘yes’ to keep and ‘no’ to gotta go.
It’s a similar exercise to what author Marie Kondo writes about in her book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” She has made a major impact on people organizing their homes.
I’m talking about how to organize your mind. It’s not that different. You need to clear out all the thoughts and demands that have been sitting in your mind creating so much clutter. Yes, simplify your home, your office, and now your mind.
Stop renting space in your brain to others who make demands on you.
Remember, it’s up to you to say keep it or give it to Goodwill when you clear out your possessions, now do the same with your brain. You oversee saying YES or NO. It’s your life, your brain, your choice.
This is the beginning of our specific process of throwing overwhelm to the curb. Once you get to the root cause of your personal overwhelm it begins to dissipate. Our clients say it’s kinda like magic.
Want more ideas? Set up a strategy session. Say YES, so we can help you find the perfect balance for your specific situation.
Click here to set up a strategy session:
I look forward to hearing from you.
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