Summary: “We’re all in it together, and no one wins unless we all do,” is precisely what leaders need to hear right now. It’s a core theme of Creative Energy Options Inc., and no, it’s not too simplistic. It’s deceptively profound. In a world addicted to binary thinking, right/wrong, win/lose, my way/the highway, let’s cut through the noise like a tuning fork for sanity.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
The polarization in the world is polluting the workplace. In the past, I know it was suggested to “stay out of politics.” That’s a smart move. However, with everyone taking sides on everything, from what we should eat to who we can talk with, and how to describe ourselves using the “proper” personal pronouns, it becomes increasingly complex to find common ground. I wonder why it is so difficult for leaders to embrace the power of “and.”
As a senior VP in my company, I want to set a healthy example of how to communicate and how to get along with each other.
Communication is key, and I would appreciate some ideas on how leaders can help others find a better way to limit the anger and mistrust that I see and hear all the time.
Signed,
Hopeful for Balance
Dear Hopeful for Balance,
Welcome to the modern workplace: brilliant minds stuck in either/or battles—strategy vs. culture, profit vs. purpose, innovation vs. stability.
Here’s the truth: no one wins unless we all do. And that’s not a soft, kumbaya slogan—it’s a survival strategy for organizations that want to grow over time.
When Leaders Embrace The Power of “AND,” the Problem with Polarization Leaves
Leaders are often trained to make “tough calls”—decisive, binary, sharp-edged. However, when leadership devolves into a perpetual coin flip—yes or no, them or us, fast or slow—we strip teams of their complexity, creativity, and collaboration.
Polarization is more seductive for Leaders Than “And”
It feels clear, clean, and confident. But it’s also lazy thinking wrapped in a power suit.
How do I know this to be true?
By working with thousands of executives and emerging leaders and listening to the upset that occurs when there is no room for compromise, or healthy connection.
The “joke” in many companies is “Whose team are you on this time?” Everyone is trained to remember that you support your team and hope to do all you can to win. Even if it is not the most effective result, the team comes first.
A Better Frame: Systems Over Sides
My work shows that what happens at work is deeply influenced by what we learned in our original organization: the family. And what do families do when they’re under stress?
They split. Then pick favorites. Finally, they fall into patterns: hero vs. victim, super achiever vs. avoider, and so on. Read more in “Don’t Bring It To Work.”
Organizations under stress do the same.
However, systems thinking reveals something more profound: all parts are interconnected. Growth comes not from choosing sides, but from integrating perspectives.
When Leaders Embrace The Power of “And”
Great leaders don’t settle for either/or. They ask, “How can we have both?”
- Profit and purpose
- Results and relationships
- Structure and flexibility
- Dissent and unity
When you trade polarization for integration, you build a culture of trust and shared ownership. And suddenly, that once-dismissed phrase—“We’re all in it together”—becomes a competitive advantage.
Real-World Impact: Helping Leaders Embrace “AND”
Think of companies that last. Their secret sauce? A long-term view that honors multiple truths. They don’t ask their teams to pick sides, then ask them to collaborate across differences.
You want innovation? You need tension. But not the kind that tears people apart. The kind that pulls people together with respect, curiosity, and shared goals.
Leaders: Practice Saying AND Before You Choose Sides
If you’re a leader, ask yourself:
- Where am I stuck in either/or thinking?
- What voices am I dismissing because they don’t agree with me?
- What systems (not individuals) are reinforcing this divide?
It’s not about being soft. It’s about being smart enough to lead through complexity. That’s what builds organizations that don’t just survive chaos—they grow from it.
We are all in it together. And yes, no one wins unless we all do. That’s not because it’s nice, but because it’s the only way forward.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. I have a visual that reminds me to stay an AND leader. It says, “You dont have to close your heart to make a profit.”
