Summary: The phrase “living your best life” has been hijacked by surface-level nonsense. Let’s reclaim it. Living your best life means confronting the behavior patterns that still influence you. It means saying no to outdated roles (such as rescuer, martyr, or avoider) and saying yes to leading with purpose and clarity.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
Today I am at the top of the mountain; yesterday I was at the bottom.
One day, life is full of great possibilities, the next, I am afraid I will end up homeless.
At work, I listen to various individuals brag about their fabulous vacations. Sometimes, they are talking about the same hotel I booked with my family, and it was far from amazing.
What am I missing? Are they delusional, or am I simply a “Debbie Downer?”
I often feel obsessed with being happy. Yet, I’m not sure what the amorphous term “happiness means.”
Truth is, occasionally I go on Instagram and post something “extraordinary,” just to be part of the “ingroup.”
Am I the norm or the exception?
Signed,
Happy or NOT
You Get to Lead Your Life, Not Just React To It.
Dear Happy or NOT,
You are asking the eternal question, “What is happiness and how do I achieve it?”
Look, you’ve seen the posts.
A cocktail, a beach, and often #LivingMyBestLife, and someone’s perfect tan.
But here’s the truth: Living your best life is not a filter, it’s a decision. And here’s the more profound truth. It’s messy. Unfiltered. Uncomfortable. It’s not about escape, it’s about engagement.
And if you’ve followed my work, you know this:
Your “best life” cannot be bought, botoxed, or Netflix-watched.
It is meant to be built. That means one insight, one pattern shift, one courageous moment at a time.
Living Your Best Life Means Facing What’s in Your Way, Lovingly and Relentlessly
The roadblocks to your best life aren’t “out there,” they’re in the habits, defenses, and patterns you drag with you from childhood into boardrooms, bedrooms, and breakrooms.
In my book Don’t Bring It to Work, I explain how we unconsciously carry family dynamics into our adult relationships at work. I
If you were the rescuer at home, chances are you’re the one smoothing over conflicts in meetings while seething inside. If you had to fight for attention, you might be the loudest in the room, the clown, or the drama king/queen, still trying to prove your worth.
Your Best Life Doesn’t Arrive Until Patterns Are Addressed, Not Avoided.
That’s why I am writing my newest book, “Complete It or Repeat It,” which discusses the 13 most common behavior patterns learned in childhood and how to transform them into more effective behaviors at work, home, and in the community.
You either complete the outdated survival strategies that no longer serve you, or you repeat them endlessly, calling it fate.
Let me say it again! You either complete the patterns you inherited…or you repeat them, at work, in love, in life.
That’s the real work.
Guess what? That’s what I teach.
And remember, that’s how we lead.
Living Your Best Life Is Not a Solo Project
Isolation is the enemy of transformation.
You need a circle, a container, a community, people who are also doing the work of completing old patterns and daring to lead with clarity, confidence, and courage.
That’s why I’m launching the Pattern Breakers Leadership Lab, a place for forward-thinking humans who want to live their best life and help others do the same.
Not with hype.
With heart.
Not with hacks.
With wholeness.
Let’s Stop Pretending. Start Living.
Your best life isn’t found in drinking a green juice, saying a daily mantra, or on the other side of a promotion.
It’s found when you choose to do the deep work.
To say, “This ends with me.”
You must complete outdated behavior patterns. That leads to what’s next.
So the next time someone says, “I’m just living my best life,” ask them:
“How are you doing that? What are you avoiding to keep fear away and stay comfortable?
And then ask yourself:
“What am I ready to do to stop repeating and start completing?”
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS: No more rinse and repeat. Rather dig under the obvious, because that’s when real life, the best life, begins. Ready to stop repeating and start completing?
Join the movement in Pattern Breakers Leadership Lab and join those who are rewriting the rules of leadership and living. Send an email to sylvia@ceoptions for more information.
