
Summary: Let’s not sugarcoat it, communication in the workplace today is a mess. We live in an “always on” world, yet somehow, we’re more disconnected than ever. Here are thoughts about what needs to change for the better.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
Each week, I gather my team for what’s supposed to be a time of clarity, collaboration, and creative solutions. The agenda is simple: What’s working? What’s stressing us out? And how do we move forward with our communication?
But here’s the problem. We’re stuck in the shallow end.
To demonstrate, the conversations are… well, empty of substance. I get “Wow” or “Whoa,” like they’re auditioning for a TikTok reel.
In addition, there are the real zingers: “Just tell us what to do,” or the dreaded, “That’s not my job.”
It seems like there’s no depth. No real ownership. No spark.
In fact, it’s like we’re having meetings about stress instead of doing something about it.
By reading your books and blog, I get it!
For example, you often say social media has rewired our brains for hot takes and highlight reels.
Similarly, we’re losing the ability to think critically, speak candidly, and solve problems like grown-ups in the real world.
Emails go unanswered, texts are misread, Slack messages turn passive-aggressive, and meetings, often called the “Black Hole,” have become performance art pieces with very little substance.
And now the bill is due.
Please help!
Signed,
Communications Expert
How to Fix the Crisis
Dear Communications Expert,
Let’s clarify: this isn’t about sending better emails or scheduling more team huddles.
Above all, it’s about rewriting the culture script about communication in the workplace. Real communication isn’t a soft skill—it’s a survival skill.
Here’s where to begin:
1. Ditch the Performative Politeness
Stop saying “no problem” when it was a problem. Stop pretending everything’s “great” when it isn’t. Candor with kindness is the new power move. Pleasers become Truth Tellers, and Martyrs become Integrators.
2. Ask Better Questions
Not just “How are you?” but “What’s weighing on you today?” Not “Do you understand?” but “What part of this feels unclear or off?” Questions that invite dialogue rather than demand a checkbox response. Rescuers become Mentors.
3. Name the Elephant—Gently, but Clearly
Unspoken tensions grow into workplace monsters. It takes guts to say, “It felt like you dismissed my idea in the meeting. Can we talk about it?” But that’s how trust is built—one truth at a time. Avoiders become Initiators.
4. Practice the Pause
Before you reply, before you defend, before you assume—pause. Breathe. Reflect. Respond from your best self, not your triggered self.
5. Bring the Family Patterns into the Light
Yes, I said it. Your first organization, the family, trained you on how to communicate (or not). If you grew up in a home where conflict was explosive or completely avoided, guess what? You’re likely reenacting that same pattern at work. Want better workplace conversations? Start by unpacking your communication inheritance.
In addition, my book, Don’t Bring It to Work, is an excellent help with the family patterns.
Therefore, if your workplace feels tense, confusing, or just plain weird lately, don’t blame the economy, the hybrid schedule, or Gen Z’s TikTok addiction.
Ask instead: “What’s not being said here?”
And then—say it. Gently. Clearly. Kindly.
That’s how we start to rebuild what’s been lost.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. Please email us for a free copy of “Get the BUT Out of Your YES,” part of our communications series.