Rebels Turned Community Builders

A man with glasses sitting in front of a wall.

Let’s look at the difference between a rebel who fights for what is right and how that rebel can turn into a community builder, helping all of us move to new heights of thinking beyond just right and wrong.

I specifically want to look at the women of today who are saying “no more!†It’s a watershed time for women to be GUTSY and no longer sit on the sidelines.

No More What?

No More staying silent and hoping others will make things better.

We are at an important place of major change. If all the women, who have stood up and been strong rebels, can band together with men who are willing to look beyond the obvious and become community builders, the changes can have a long-standing impact.

In my research, the one thing that stands out for so many to stay quiet is good old basic fear.

                Fear of physical attack

                Fear of abandonment

                Fear of rejection

                Fear of being humiliated

                Fear of taking charge

Underneath all the fear is the hopelessness that whatever is done will not really change the patterns of the past where women were often second-class citizens. While many remain silent, others become the rebels, the champion of breaking outdated patterns.

Here are two rebels speaking out about the ravages of sexual harassment that is all over the news now.

Sarah Silverman, a strong-willed rebel who chose the field of comedy to paint a bold picture of today’s life, talked about her close friend Louis CK. “I believe that this moment in time is essential. It’s vital that people are held accountable for their actions no matter who they are. We need to be better. We will be better. I can’t wait to be f—king better.â€

In a recent appearance on Today, Jon Stewart, one of the rebel pioneers willing to take on the affronts of daily life through comedy, was asked about his reactions to Louis CK’s sexual harassment scandal. Stewart was pensive when he answered with a truth that is critical for today’s changes, saying that men have been in charge for a very long time and now there is a need for exploration of different ways of behaving.

Two excellent examples, a GUTSY woman and a BOLD man going past judgment, blame, and attack.

What makes a rebel speak out?

They often come from families where they were looked at as “less than.†It could be from race, gender, economic disadvantage among other things.  At an early age, they felt the need to rebalance the scales of justice. However, rebels can get stuck in having to prove they are right by staying against and opposing, fighting “to the death.â€

Yet, more of the time there is a better way. Enter the community builder. Those who can transform their anger into exploring new perspectives. Community builders tackle problems at the core level. They bring the dialogue away from accusing and blaming to stimulate a groundswell of activity to find a better way for all of us.

That’s what these two rebel comedians have exemplified, going beyond just joking, to find a new way for men and women to begin to react with each other, without the old fears getting in the way.

Yes, rebels can make a change. Better yet, are those rebels who take that strong, determined energy and transform it to community building to make lasting change.

Here is a video that helps you talk with a rebel, helping them see the power of community building.

It’s what the world needs now.

I will be starting an online training program soon, modeled after my successful GUTSY WOMEN retreat program. Women today can no longer be shushed or denied. It’s time to be authentic, be flamboyant, be YOU. This educational program will give you the tools to stand on the shoulders of your past. Make a difference.

Get on the waiting list for the pioneer group that will begin in January, just sign up for the newsletter or if you are already on it you’ll be notified.

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Sylvia Lafair

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