Summary: It’s easy to equate showing love and appreciation with giving physical gifts. Presents can be thoughtful and meaningful. However, something far more valuable cannot be wrapped or tied with a bow: your presence. Here are some things to think about.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
When all the “oooh’s and ahhha’s” after unwrapping the special gifts came to an end, I felt a draft of cold air in a very warm and toasty room.
At first, I could not figure out why these chilly, empty moments were occurring. Then, I suddenly realized we were focusing on only two things. In that way, another part of giving and getting was lost in translation.
Firstly, I wondered nervously if those I gave gifts appreciated them. Or did they smile in a benign, socially expected way just “to be nice?”
Secondly, I worried if I said “Thank You” with appreciation even though I knew some presents would return to the store early next week. You know, like the gaudy tie I would never wear or the book I would never read.
That temperature change made me reexamine how to give and get gifts.
I mainly consider what matters as we make time to share with and acknowledge each other at home and at work.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Signed,
Caring
Your Presence Makes the Difference
Dear Caring,
Many businesses hope to make the most money possible from Thanksgiving through the New Year.
Thus, marketing takes center stage.
Ads encourage us to think about the fun of childhood gifts, like a new bike, special doll, tickets to a game or play.
We hear familiar music and see the bright colors and lights around us.
Of course, the cheery ads contribute to “holiday cheer.” Yet, they cannot last too long.
What has sustainability is both invisible and ultimately touchable at the same time.
It is the gift of your presence!
Presence, the gift of truly being there—physically, emotionally, and mentally—offers something that no material object ever could.
It provides connection, understanding, and the irreplaceable feeling of being seen and heard. Let’s explore why presence matters more than presents and how we can cultivate this powerful practice in our lives.
The Emotional Currency of Presence
Presence is about how to fully engage in the moment with another person.
It’s the look of understanding during a heartfelt conversation, the laughter shared during a family game night, or the comfort of simply sitting quietly with someone in need.
These moments create memories that far outlast the temporary satisfaction of a physical gift.
When you offer your presence, you give people your time, attention, and genuine care. These are emotional currencies that strengthen bonds and create a sense of security and love. A child, for example, will remember the bedtime stories and conversations far more vividly than the latest toy they outgrow in a few months.
Why Presents Alone Fall Short
Presents, while appreciated, often carry limitations. They can’t replace emotional connection or resolve feelings of loneliness or disconnection.
Material gifts can quickly lose their luster, and if given in place of genuine connection, they might even feel like empty gestures.
Here’s the truth: People want to feel valued. They want to feel that they matter. A gift can’t convey that on its own, but your presence can. Listening intently to someone, offering your undivided attention, and making time for meaningful interactions show that you care in a way no object can.
The Science of Presence
Research supports the importance of human connection. Studies show that people who feel socially connected experience less stress, better health, and greater overall happiness. Being present with someone reduces their sense of isolation and boosts feelings of belonging and worth.
Presence also fosters mindfulness. When you focus fully on someone else, you’re practicing the art of being present in the moment, which enhances your mental and emotional well-being.
How to Prioritize Presence
All in all, if you’re ready to prioritize presence over presents, here are a few actionable steps to get started:
- Create Rituals of Connection: Establish regular times to connect with loved ones, like a family dinner without distractions, a weekly video call, or a monthly coffee date.
- Be Fully Present: Turn off your phone, silence notifications, and resist the urge to multitask. Give your full attention to the person in front of you.
- Listen Actively: Listen not just to respond but to understand. Validate feelings and let others know their thoughts and emotions matter.
- Celebrate Moments: Celebrate achievements, milestones, and even the small victories together. A heartfelt acknowledgment in the moment can be more memorable than any wrapped gift.
- Practice Gratitude: Express gratitude for the people in your life. Let them know how much their presence means to you.
Presence in the Workplace
This principle extends beyond personal relationships. In the workplace, being present is a leadership superpower. A leader who listens to their team, acknowledges their contributions, and is genuinely engaged builds trust and loyalty. N
No amount of pizza or extra pto will be remembered more than the leaders who encourage caring and creativity. Employees feel valued when their leaders are fully present, leading to better collaboration and productivity.
The Legacy of Presence
When you prioritize presence over presents, you’re building a legacy of connection. People won’t remember every gift you gave them, but they’ll remember the moments you spent together, the way you made them feel, and the love you showed through your time and attention.
In the end, presence is the greatest gift of all. It’s timeless, priceless, and unforgettable.
Presence, The Gift That Keeps on Giving
This holiday season, or any time of year, think about the gift of your presence. It doesn’t require wrapping paper or a credit card, but it does require mindfulness, intention, and love. Whether it’s a heartfelt conversation, a shared laugh, or simply being there when someone needs you, your presence is the most valuable gift you can give.
So, the next time you’re tempted to fill a void with material gifts, pause and ask yourself: How can I show up for this person?
Your presence might just be the gift they’ll cherish most.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS. I commit to continuing to bring you ideas that spark curiosity and uniqueness. I hope they are helpful.
