Summary: There are moments when a young leader steps forward, not because they demand attention, but because they reveal something authentic. Something whole. Something quietly brave. That is why Alysa Liu has captured the world’s attention. This is the underpinning of whole person leadership.
Dear All,
Yes, Alysa Liu’s skating is extraordinary. She has landed jumps that most athletes spend a lifetime chasing. She has stood on podiums with grace well beyond her years. But technical brilliance alone does not explain why people, especially teens and young adults, feel drawn to her story.
What resonates is something deeper.
It is the courage to listen to her own inner signals, her head, heart, and gut, at an age when most are still trying to please the expectations of others.
The Pressure to Perform: On the Ice and in Life
Many young people today grow up with invisible scorecards: grades, college admissions, social media approval, family expectations. The pressure to perform becomes relentless.
This creates what I call the Pleaser Pattern, the belief that worth comes from achievement rather than authenticity, and that being happy means having others tell you what to do and when. Parents, coaches, teachers, and friends are more important than self-understanding.
Alysa Liu could have remained inside that pattern. As one of the most promising figure skaters in the world, the path forward seemed obvious: more training, more medals, more sacrifice.
Instead, she did something radical.
She stepped away.
At just 16, after reaching the pinnacle of her sport, she chose to pause competitive skating. Not because she failed, but because she listened.
That decision stunned the sports world. But it revealed a powerful truth: leadership begins the moment you trust your internal compass more than external applause.
She moved to the Rebel Pattern to give room to “talk to herself.”
The Glimmer: Choosing Wholeness Over Approval
In my work, I call these moments glimmers, subtle signals that guide us toward alignment.
Teens and emerging adults are especially sensitive to glimmers, yet they are often taught to override them.
A tight stomach before saying yes.
A quiet voice whispering, “This isn’t who I am.”
A longing to explore something beyond the path already chosen.
When Alysa stepped away, she modeled something rarely seen, permission to redefine success.
She showed that identity is not fixed by early achievement. It is shaped through exploration, reflection, and self-trust.
This is profoundly important for young people standing at the threshold of adulthood.
A New Kind of Role Model
Traditional role models often represent the Super Achiever Pattern: perfection, flawless performance, endless drive, emotional invincibility.
But today’s emerging generation is searching for something else.
They are searching for permission to be human.
Alysa’s openness, humility, and grounded presence reflect emotional maturity beyond medals. She smiles easily. She speaks honestly. She does not appear trapped by the need to maintain an image.
This signals integration, the alignment of head, heart, and gut.
Research in neuroscience shows that when these systems are aligned, individuals experience greater resilience, clearer decision-making, and deeper well-being. Young people who witness this alignment in others begin to trust it in themselves.
They learn they do not have to sacrifice their humanity to succeed.
Breaking Generational Patterns
Many of the leadership struggles I see in adults began in childhood, learning to suppress emotion, overperform to gain approval, or disconnect from intuition.
By contrast, Alysa Liu demonstrates a different trajectory.
She reminds young people that stepping back is not weakness. It is awareness.
She shows that identity can evolve, not just as an athlete, but as a person.
This interrupts the generational pattern of achievement at the cost of self.
And that may be her greatest contribution.
What Leaders Can Learn About Pattern Transformation
Whether you are a teenager deciding your future or an executive navigating complex choice, the lesson is the same.
Pause long enough to listen inward.
Notice the glimmers. Name the patterns.
Success that is disconnected from self will eventually feel hollow. But success rooted in alignment creates both excellence and fulfillment.
The way OUT is to Observe the patterns, Understand their roots, and then Transform those that are outdated to their positive opposite. For example, the Pleaser becomes a Truth Teller, the Rebel becomes a Community Builder, and the Super Achiever becomes a Creative Collaborator.
Alysa Liu reminds us that true leadership does not begin when the world applauds you.
It begins when you recognize yourself.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS: If you, or the young people in your life, are standing at a crossroads, pay attention to the subtle signals beneath the noise. These glimmers are not distractions. They are guidance. In my upcoming book, GLIMMERS at Work: The New Leadership Operating System for Head, Heart, & Gut, I explore how learning to trust these internal signals transforms not only leaders, but entire generations. Want a free copy of the introduction? Please email sylvia@ceoptions.com and it’s yours.
