Summary: You can alter your narrative about any situation to enact positive lasting change. You do this when you shift the blame, judgment, and negativity that get in the way of success.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I am not a believer in magic.
Let me explain. Sometimes I think you make suggestions that are impossible to do.
It’s like you think we all have a genie in a bottle next to the computer. You must make a wish, rub the bottle, and the genie will pop out and do whatever you want.
Most importantly, that has not been my experience.
The best leadership programs cover logic and emotions.
Firstly, I believe in logic and truth.
Therefore, when you say we can change the narrative of our work-life story, I hear, “it’s okay to lie.”
For example, if I have a bully boss (actually had) and I quit because she was a true a-hole, that is the truth. Nothing there to change. Right?
All things considered, you must prove to me there is a better way. I know you also teach that it is essential, to tell the truth. Now, I am confused.
Ultimately, which is it? Truth or fabrication?
Signed,
I’m a seeker
Leadership programs for everyone move to systems thinking for success.
Dear Seeker,
Great question.
It does, however, come from a dualistic mindset.
As an illustration, those who think in either/or, yes/no, win/lose would consider changing a narrative as “messing with reality.”
However, reality is systemic and much more complex than our society’s black/white model.
Positive leadership programs show that even in challenging circumstances, there is a new choice.
Think of the famous quote from Viktor Frankl
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth, and our freedom.”
Now, how to change your narrative and win at work and home.
For example, if you want to improve your behavior, you can use these methods our pattern breakthrough certified coaches suggest that are rewarding over the long haul.
Story prompting is a way to grow and learn.
Seek out information that will help you view yourself and why you cannot respond in a more helpful light.
For example: if you believe that learning something new, such as the following best technology product, is beyond your grasp, do the next exercise.
Tell yourself that you are intelligent, capable, and creative and that all you need is someone to steer you in the right direction. Then find a mentor. No haggling with your internal voice; do it. That person will show up in the blink of an eye.
In other words, please remember that in science, Hebb’s rule is that “neurons that fire together wire together.”
Therefore, the more you tell yourself you can do it with just a little help, that help will come your way.
And as Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do it or think you can’t do it… You’re right.”
Story writing allows you to see things from a new perspective.
Reframe and reinterpret what has happened to you.
Please write it down.
In other words, here is where you “write it to right it.”
There is a lot of research these days that writing emotional content, just the act of writing it is suitable for your immune system.
Indeed, you can feel better emotionally and physically.
Even better is finding the words that work, uplift, and encourage rather than those that make you feel defeated and insignificant.
Ownership of long-standing behavior patterns is first. If you have been a victim, write about how you can see yourself as an explorer of new ideas. If you are a martyr, see yourself as someone who asks for help.
Sometimes a simple shift in perspective about a past situation can make all the difference.
Give yourself a break and change what happened as you challenge yourself to overcome a problem rather than blame it on bad luck. You will feel stronger and more ready to take on the world.
Story pretending can get you past outdated, ingrained behavior patterns.
Here, you have permission to play full out.
You can choose to write or act out a new scene in your mind’s eye or even find a private place and improvise.
Yes, act out your new you. Speak the lines, and move about to hear and feel the special unique new you.
For example, Jerry Siegel was a high school student living in Cleveland, Ohio, when his famous comic strip character was born. His father died in a robbery, shot to death, and thus Superman, a bullet-proof human, became the world’s greatest hero.
Superman came into being because a boy who lost his father did some story pretending and created from his feelings of profound vulnerability.
Look at your life story from all angles.
The interventions above have potent effects in the real world.
When you get to a fork in the road and must choose the most beneficial way to see, hear and feel your story use these methods to take you from sad or mad to glad.
Once you change your self-view, there are long-term beneficial consequences. And then you can be a story prompter for your colleagues at work.
Ways to practice changing your mindset and, thus, your story.
When I walked on hot coals and did not get burned and then chopped a block of wood in half with my bare hand, I learned that it does not take a particular master of life to do what looks impossible; it merely takes some internal changes of mindset.
In conclusion, editing your story can have a profound impact on how you run your business and how you live your life.
After all, life is meant to be a fantastic adventure, so write your best story and edit it to your liking. And let me know how your life changes with a few well-placed changes.
Here’s to your success,
Sylvia
P.S. Start by learning how to practice safe stress. Learn about how to transform patterns that belong on the “outdated” shelf. Read the book Invisible Stress (It’s NOT What YOU Think!) and then give us a call for a complimentary session with a pattern breakthrough coach.
