What happens when you put yourself first?
Are you seen as selfish, or even worse, as a narcissist?
And if you constantly put yourself at the end of the line, does that make you a good, caring person or a
In times past…it was the protocol to be humble, smile, and not take much credit. That was polite and proper.
And in those olden days, if a child proudly said they did a great job of painting a picture, skating down
the street without falling, or baking chocolate chip cookies to die for, they were told to stop patting
themselves on the back and being self-serving.
Now, in this present era, there is a contest in all areas of life for people to puff up their achievements
and there is constant competition to be THE BEST.
How healthy are lots of bragging and the need to be better than everyone else? Even more to the point,
how possible is it to really become and stay in THE BEST spot?
One of my clients emailed me recently:
I took a nosedive for a few weeks feeling frustrated and depressed. I’m just about over that
ugly time and thought you would appreciate where I am now. As you know, I have always been the top
salesperson in my company and lately, there are a few young titans who are working 24-7 to take the
title away from me.
I learned from the coaching I’ve had with you to look at life in a more balanced way.
I really got that work-life balance is a big myth. You can’t cut your daily life into perfect pieces, like an apple pie.
Here is where I am now, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. I finally decided I will let these younger
people become the top sales gurus. I must admit, it took me a bit of time to look at my own ego needs
before I could let go of the B.S. of having to be THE BEST.
I know, I know, you kept hammering home that striving to be THE BEST and striving to stay there is just
plain stupid and can lead to exhaustion and overwhelm.
And thank you for constantly focusing on well- being as a top priority.
So now, I can put myself first by making sure I have all the physical, mental, and emotional nourishment I
need to support myself and also have the delight in knowing I am really good at my job and I can now be
of help to the younger ones and still, have a great career and good financial returns.
So many who have been THE BEST have to make way for others and how they do that shows how strong
they are internally.
I just read that tennis champion, Serena Williams had back spasms and had to leave the Rogers Cup Final
in Toronto. She is a great player and a positive person and rather than make excuses she handled herself
with elegance. No bragging, no defending, no explaining or justifying herself.
And just like me with my young titan sales folks who make me feel like an elder, the gal Serena played
against, Bianca Andreescu is only 19 years old.
Being THE BEST has taken on a whole new meaning that I want to share here. It means not competing
with others the way I used to, it means keeping myself strong enough to handle life’s challenges with dignity.
Like Serena, I want to continue to handle life’s challenges without needing to brag that I am THE BEST.
And I’m glad you have the tools to help people get out of the trap of our cultural obsession with needing
to be THE BEST.