Summary: Why do some leaders keep solving the same problems over and over while others seem able to transform an entire culture? The difference is often not intelligence, but pattern intelligence, or the ability to notice the invisible dynamics beneath visible behavior. It means recognizing recurring emotional, relational, and organizational patterns before they become crises. And once you see the pattern, you cannot unsee it.
“The best way to predict the future is to understand the patterns that created the present.”
— Sylvia Lafair
Every organization has patterns. Some build trust while others quietly destroy it. Most leaders see the symptoms: declining engagement conflict between departments, missed deadlines, talented people leaving meetings where no one speaks honestly. They ask, “Whose fault is this, and how do we punish ineffective behavior?”
Pattern-intelligent leaders ask a different question >> What pattern keeps recreating this outcome?
That question changes everything, and it’s the question we should learn to ask when we are in high school, college, in our personal relationships, work, and community.
Abraham Lincoln: A Master of Pattern Intelligence
Few leaders in history demonstrated pattern intelligence more clearly than Abraham Lincoln. History remembers him as the president who preserved the Union. I admire him for something deeper.
Lincoln understood that conflict rarely begins where it appears. He recognized that anger usually covered fear, resistance often protected loss, and silence frequently hid pain. During the Civil War, many members of his cabinet openly disagreed with him. Some even believed they were more qualified to be president than Lincoln himself.
Many leaders would have surrounded themselves with people who agreed with them, but Lincoln did the opposite.
We All Need a Team of Rivals
Lincoln intentionally created what historian Doris Kearns Goodwin later called a “Team of Rivals.” Why? Because he wasn’t trying to eliminate differences. He was trying to understand the patterns underneath them. He knew that healthy disagreement could produce wiser decisions when people felt respected. That takes tremendous self-awareness. It also takes emotional regulation. Lincoln rarely reacted impulsively.
Write Your Upset and Then Put It In a Drawer
If Lincoln received an insulting letter or harsh criticism, he often wrote a response, but never mailed it. Instead, he set it aside until emotion settled and wisdom returned. That simple practice is remarkably modern.
Today, neuroscience tells us that under stress, our nervous system wants immediate action. Lincoln instinctively understood something we now teach leaders every day: pause before you react. That pause changes the future. Just a moment of a deep in breath and another deep out breath is all it takes. Yes, you have to practice it until it becomes muscle memory. It’s worth the time and the effort.
Pattern Intelligence Begins with Yourself
One of the greatest myths about leadership is that problems are “out there.” Usually, they begin “in here.” Every leader carries an internal operating system built long before receiving a leadership title. When head, heart and gut work together, you are at an advantage to be successful.
That first operating system began long before we had our first job. It showed up as infants, in our first organization, the family. There we learned how to respond to conflict, approval, criticism, uncertainty, success, and disappointment. Most of those lessons happen long before we are aware they exist. Then one day we become executives, managers, entrepreneurs, physicians, engineers, educators, or team leaders.
The title changes. The patterns often do not, until we learn to make them visible.
>> How self-aware are you as a leader? Take this quiz and find out!
The Invisible Becomes Visible
Throughout my career, I have watched brilliant leaders struggle, not because they lacked knowledge, but because invisible patterns were quietly running the show. The executive who micromanages because uncertainty once felt unsafe. The CEO who avoids difficult conversations because conflict meant rejection growing up. The high achiever who never celebrates success because love always depended on performance.
None of these leaders wake up intending to create unhealthy cultures. They’re simply repeating patterns that once helped them survive.
Pattern Intelligence Interrupts Outdated Cycles
It asks:
- What keeps repeating?
- When does it begin?
- What am I reacting to instead of responding to?
- What might I be missing?
- What new pattern would create a different future?
Those questions create Glimmers.
The Power of a Glimmer
In my work, a Glimmer is not simply a pleasant moment. It is a moment of awareness. It is the instant you recognize a familiar pattern before it controls your next decision. That tiny moment of awareness creates choice. Choice creates new behavior. New behavior creates new culture. And culture shapes results.
That is how lasting leadership transformation happens. Not through another leadership model or another motivational speech, but by learning to see what was previously invisible.
Lincoln’s Greatest Legacy
Abraham Lincoln left us more than speeches. He demonstrated that the strongest leaders are not those who react the fastest. They are the ones who see the deepest by recognizing patterns others overlook. They stay curious longer than everyone else and learn to create space between emotion and action. And because of that, they change history.
Today’s organizations need that same kind of leadership. Not simply smarter leaders or stronger leaders, but leaders with pattern intelligence. Because once you can see the pattern, you no longer have to repeat it.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
P.S. Want a copy of the introduction to my upcoming book GLIMMERS at WORK? Sign up here!
