Summary: Every year around this time, we celebrate freedom. Flags wave. Families gather. Fireworks light up the night sky. And while we are meant to remember past freedom fighters, we often get caught up in our day-to-day activities. Let’s take a look at freedom from another vantage point.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I see Independence Day as a double-edged sword. On one hand, we have extra time for fun and frolic. On the other, there is fear and worry about protecting ourselves from mean-spirited people wanting to fight for their own point of view. My teenage sons are going to some parties and while I say very little, I secretly hope that things will stay peaceful.
Just thought I’d reach out to see how you are handling this time to celebrate freedom.
Signed,
Curious
The Freedom No Government Can Grant: Freedom Begins Inside Each Of Us
Dear Curious,
The Fourth of July goes down many avenues. I hope most of us will spend a few minutes in silence to remember the courage of those who fought for the freedom of a nation. And not just here in the US, because there have been freedom fighters for eons in many places around the globe.
Yet this year, I’ve been thinking about another kind of freedom.
Over the past four decades, working with thousands of leaders around the world, I’ve discovered something fascinating. Looking at what folks say about what freedom means to them always includes their work situation. Some feel tied to their jobs or complain about their bosses being tyrants. Others make nasty comments about financial situations and feel limited or even oppressed in their situations.
Most people are not imprisoned by their jobs; they are imprisoned by their reactions.
Think about it for a moment. Someone can feel victimized by a sarcastic comment from a colleague or a critical email from a boss. Did you ever have someone ignore your brilliant idea or question your expertise on a matter? In a fraction of a second, you become defensive, trapped, and helpless.
You withdraw, over-explain, work harder, or perhaps you simply stay silent. You become like a puppet as if someone else is pulling the strings. And voila! You suddenly feel stripped of your freedom and your power. But guess what? They didn’t take your freedom and power away; an old trigger did.
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Self-Aware Leaders Have An Advantage
For years, I believed leadership development was mostly about learning new skills. Today I believe something different. The greatest leaders and emerging leaders aren’t simply more intelligent or charismatic. They are more free.
Free enough to pause before reacting, and become curious instead of defensive. They can notice the old family patterns showing up in today’s workplace before those patterns begin running the meeting. That is when a GLIMMER appears.
A GLIMMER Is A Moment of Self-Awareness
It is that brief moment when awareness interrupts autopilot. It is the instant when you realize, “I don’t have to repeat this old story,” or “I don’t have to do what they want the way they say.” That may be the greatest freedom any of us will ever experience. Imagine what would happen if more of us practiced that kind of freedom.
GLIMMERS Can Change a Team, Culture, and More
Conversations would become more honest. Teams would become more trusting. Innovation would replace fear. Organizations would spend less energy managing conflict and more energy creating possibility. The freedom we celebrate as a nation reminds us of what is possible when people refuse to remain trapped.
Just watch Jonathon Groff sing as King George in “Hamilton.”
Those who lived then, who took the risk of sailing to America said, “Wait, there is a better way.” The same is true in our personal and professional lives. Every time we notice a trigger before it controls us, we can replace an old reaction with a wiser response.
When we choose connection over blame, we declare a new kind of independence. Not from another country, but from outdated patterns that no longer serve us. As you celebrate with family and friends this holiday, I invite you to ask yourself one simple question, “What old pattern am I finally ready to declare independence from?”
Because freedom isn’t only something we celebrate; it’s something we practice. One GLIMMER at a time. May your celebrations be joyful, your relationships be meaningful, and your inner freedom continue to grow.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
P.S. Our coaches are ready to help you declare freedom from people-pleasing, feeling like a victim, or whatever is holding you back. Contact us for a complimentary 1:1 coaching session today.
