Summary: Most leadership programs teach skills, like how to communicate better, manage conflict, and improve engagement. All are worthwhile goals, but after more than 35 years working with leaders and organizations, I’ve learned something important—skills alone do not transform culture. Read on to see what matters even more.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
My team is efficient and very smart. However, there are still areas where we fall by the wayside. I want to develop a team culture that activates curiosity and caring. And, more importantly, I hope they can understand deeply what you teach, that “we are all connected and no one wins unless we all do.” Thoughts please.
Signed,
Growing as a Leader
Personal Awareness: Where the Action Is
Dear Growing as a Leader,
Intellectually, we all know what it means to work together. Emotionally, well, that’s another story.
Recently, I had a vivid dream where a leadership team was locked in conflict. People were frustrated. Some were blaming. Others were withdrawing. A few were trying to rescue everyone else. The conversation felt painfully familiar because I have seen versions of it in organizations for decades.
Then something shifted. Instead of arguing about the problem, people began noticing themselves. One leader paused and said, “I’m getting defensive.” Another admitted, “I’m avoiding the real issue.” A third recognized, “I’m trying to fix everyone instead of listening.”
The room changed. Not because anyone had learned a new communication technique, but because they had become aware.
I had a thought in the middle of this very active early morning Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep: self-awareness is the starting point. From there, we can align more creatively and with more care. At the end of the dream, someone smiled and said, “We’ve got The GLIMMERS Glow!” I woke up thinking, “That’s it.” That’s the outcome I’ve been observing for years but had never named.
The GLIMMERS Effect™ is the moment of awareness.
The GLIMMERS Glow™ is what happens when that awareness spreads.
Every Organization Has Triggers
Stress is inevitable. Deadlines get missed. Strategies fail. Markets shift. And of course, people disagree. When pressure rises, old patterns emerge. Some people withdraw while others avoid. There are those who rescue. And those who always resort to JUBLA: judgement, blame, or attack.
Different organizations. Different people. The same patterns. Most leaders spend their time trying to manage the behavior. The better question is, “What pattern is driving the behavior?”
A Glimmer Changes Everything
A Glimmer is that moment of awareness.
The instant you notice:
- “I’m reacting.”
- “This is an old pattern.”
- “I have another choice.”
That moment may only last a few seconds, yet it changes everything because awareness creates choice. And choice creates transformation.
Without awareness, we repeat the past. With awareness, we create the future.
>> Take the Quiz: Which Leadership Pattern Is Running YOU Behind the Scenes?
The Glow Happens Collectively
One person’s awareness is powerful. A team’s awareness is transformational. People begin listening differently. Conversations become more honest. Accountability increases. Conflict becomes productive instead of destructive. Trust grows. Recovery from mistakes happens faster. Energy that was spent judging, blaming, and attacking becomes available for creativity, innovation, and collaboration.
That is the Glow. Not perfection or constant agreement. And of course, not the absence of conflict. The Glow is what happens when people become aware enough to navigate conflict without losing connection.
The Leadership Challenge
Leaders cannot mandate trust or force engagement. No matter how competent a leader is, they cannot require authenticity. What they can do is create conditions where awareness spreads. And when awareness spreads, culture changes. One Glimmer creates another. Then another. And another. Until the entire organization begins operating differently.
The Future of Leadership
The future belongs to leaders who understand that transformation begins with awareness. Not awareness as a slogan (it’s more than a pretty sign on the office entry), but awareness as a daily practice. Because one Glimmer can change a conversation, and a conversation can change a team.
Think bigger: a team can change a culture. And when enough people choose awareness over reaction, something remarkable happens. The organization begins to glow. That is the GLIMMERS Glow™.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
P.S. Contact us for more information about how to engage your teams using The GLIMMERS Effect™ and get ready to GLOW!
