Summary: Everywhere we turn, there’s noise, uncertainty, division, and pressure to perform. A constant low hum of anxiety that never quite shuts off. Leaders feel it. Teams feel it. Organizations live inside it. And here’s the uncomfortable truth: most leadership tools today are designed to help people cope with chaos, not transform it. Let’s go to the next level and transform, not just recognize our fear dragons.
Dear Dr. Sylvia,
I am having both nightmares and daymares. Same thing, only different hours of each day. Both are intense, involuntary, and negative. Underneath are the same repetitive emotions: fear and failure. I need a way to stay calm or at least stop freaking out whenever I think about my work.
It’s not just me. In fact, the world seems lost, without guardrails. No safety, no comfort zone. I enjoy the way you help people think through triggers to find resolutions. Don’t get me wrong. Most of your methods are helpful. Yet, I often think they just take too long! I need a concise “go-to” method.
Please, give me what you think is faster and more productive long-term than most of today’s skill-based methods. To wrap this up, my question is, “How long does it take to transform outdated behaviors in a world that moves so fast? Even one day seems too long to wait for change to happen.”
Signed,
Gotta Change
What is the GLIMMERS EFFECT?
Dear Gotta Change,
I think at times we all feel the fear of hopelessness or exhaustion. Yet, even in your question and for most of us, I see that our worst night and day mares are still coupled with a mixture of curiosity and caring. That’s where The GLIMMERS EFFECT steps in.
It’s not another technique. Nor a skill like learning how to score a three-pointer from the far side of the room. For that, I suggest you contact Steph Curry. Right now, take a deep breath and relax for a minute. What we will discuss next is not to be added to your already overflowing toolkit.
Here Is Your Internal Reset: How to Perceive, Decide, and Lead, at The Deepest Level
At its core, The GLIMMERS EFFECT is the ability to recognize and act on subtle internal signals, those quiet flashes of insight that come from the alignment of head, heart, and gut. These are not loud. Nor do they scream for attention. They whisper.
And in a world addicted to urgency and overthinking, whispers get ignored.
A glimmer is the moment when you listen to your whole person system: Your head processes data and logic. Then, your heart senses emotional truth and connection. And finally, your gut signals instinct, timing, and deeper knowing.
When these three align, you don’t just make decisions, you make the right decisions. This is what you are asking for. Methods for personal and professional growth and development that are clean and grounded.
Why We’ve Lost Access to Glimmers
Let me be blunt. All my years of research with leaders, teams, and organizations indicate we haven’t lost glimmers because they disappeared. They are lost in plain sight because we’ve trained ourselves to override them.
From early on, most people learn, “Don’t trust your gut; instead, get more data.” Or consider, have you ever been told, “Don’t feel too much, stay professional, this is work, not a festival, tap down the emotions.” And now, most of us hear this daily, “Time is of the essence. Don’t slow down, move faster.”
So what happens? We create leaders who are brilliant yet disconnected, strategic but reactive under pressure, and almost all are productive, but internally exhausted.
Leaders lead so that teams are busy, but misaligned, while on the surface, teams are collaborative, but fractured underneath. And in today’s words, most of us are performing, but not thriving. Fear and doubt thrive in this environment. Why? Because when internal alignment disappears, external noises take over.
The GLIMMERS EFFECT in Action: From Trigger to Choice
Here’s where my newest work gets powerful, as well as practical. Every leader, every team, every organization runs on patterns. Under pressure, those patterns show up as triggers:
- A difficult conversation that leaves you angry (Why?)
- A missed deadline when you blame yourself for the mess (How?)
- Perhaps you continuously encounter a challenging personality sitting right across from you in the office (Who?)
- And then, you turn on the news to be bombarded with sudden change, be it weather, politics, or family issues (What?)
Most people react automatically. But The GLIMMERS EFFECT introduces a different path:
Trigger → Pattern → Pause → (Ugly Middle) → Choice
Let’s break it down:
- Trigger: Something activates you emotionally
- Pattern: Your default reaction kicks in (avoid, attack, please, overwork, etc.)
- Pause: You interrupt the automatic response with a question, “What do I want as an outcome here?“
- Ugly Middle: The uncomfortable space where you don’t yet know what to do
- Choice: A conscious, aligned response emerges
Glimmers show up if you stop long enough to listen quietly. It happens when you ask yourself, “What is the pattern that is causing me to react with a vengeance?”
Glimmers want to live, and they start to glow when you pause to say yes. Then, when you enter “The Ugly Middle,” they flicker like the flame of a candle in the wind. Here it’s messy and uncertain. Certainly not Instagram-worthy. And this is where you learn to take charge, so transformation can happen.
What The GLIMMERS EFFECT Does to Teams
When even one leader begins to operate from glimmers instead of triggers, something shifts. When a team learns that GLIMMERS are your internal friends, everything changes.
- Psychological Safety Becomes Real (Not Just a Buzzword)
People stop performing roles and start telling the truth. The good news is that conflict becomes productive and feedback becomes usable. Even better, trust becomes visible.
- Communication Moves from Reactive to Intentional
Instead of JUBLA (Judge, Blame or Attack), the most common reactions are, “Why didn’t you…?” or the mantra of, “You always…”
Perhaps the despair of “This never works.”
GLIMMERS help you hear and then talk more clearly. Respond by saying, “This is what I’m noticing.” Move to curiosity, saying, “Here’s what matters right now, what do you think?” And then on to cooperation with, “Let’s solve this together.”
That’s not softer. That’s smarter.
- Decision-Making Gets Faster, and Better
When head, heart, and gut are aligned, overanalyzing drops, less time is wasted with second-guessing, and amazingly, clarity rises. Leaders stop spinning and start deciding.
- Patterns Get Exposed, and Transformed
This is where The GLIMMERS EFFECT shines. The behavior patterns learned in our original organization, the family, still show up in our present organization at work. Yet, we are not shackled by them. We can transform them.
For example, The Clown becomes a Humorist. Someone who was always finger-pointing, The Persecutor/Bully, becomes a Visionary. And the “gotta go” guy or gal, The Avoider, becomes an Initiator.
Not by force. By awareness + aligned action.
What The GLIMMERS Effect Does to Organizations
Now zoom out.
When The GLIMMERS EFFECT becomes part of the culture:
- Silos start to dissolve: You begin to see people are no longer protecting themselves; they’re connecting.
- Change becomes easier: There is a way to handle resistance, not fight it.
- Leadership becomes scalable: Because it’s not dependent on personality, it’s based on alignment.
- Results improve without burnout: You can feel energy is no longer wasted on internal friction.
Why Glimmers Must Be Reactivated Now
Let’s not sugarcoat it. We are living in a time where fear is contagious, doubt spreads faster than clarity, people are overwhelmed and under-supported, and organizations are trying to solve problems with more meetings, excessive data, and more skill-based tools.
That’s like putting a better dashboard on a car with a broken engine. The real issue? Disconnection, from self, from others, from what actually matters.
The GLIMMERS EFFECT is not a luxury right now. It’s a necessity. Because without it, leaders default to control or avoidance, and teams fracture under pressure. In the big picture, cultures become performative instead of authentic.
With it, leaders become grounded under stress, teams become aligned under pressure, and organizations become resilient in uncertainty.
You Don’t Need More Noise, You Need Better Signals
Glimmers are already there, waiting. That has been my work for decades, to help GLIMMERS override TRIGGERS. Even more, to help the GLIMMERS fight the TRIGGERS and win the battle.
The question is, will you keep overriding your inner intelligence, or finally learn how to trust it? My 5-step process is like inner strength training and alignment. You practice it until it becomes second nature.
Because once leaders do, something remarkable happens: You stop reacting to the world as it is and start shaping the world as it could be.
To your success,
Sylvia Lafair
PS: The Pattern Reset (Trigger → Pattern → Pause → Ugly Middle → Choice) is how glimmers become actionable. Contact me to learn more. And remember: Fear is loud. Doubt is persistent. But glimmers? They’re quiet, and they’re right. Learn to listen, and everything changes.
